Feature image via so chic.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
via lilith not eve
+ Sugarbutch has some cock commandments for strap-on users, covering safety, taking it seriously, using it as an extension of yourself, and not being a dick just because you’re wearing one:
“Here’s some tips: I would suggest against using words like ‘fake,’ ‘pretend,’ ‘faux,’ ‘plastic,’ and ‘dildo.’ While they might be technically the correct terms for the item, once it becomes an extension of your (or your beloved’s) body, let me assure you: it can feel very real, and using words that support that connection rather than separating it can be empowering and validating. Some people like to give it a name—I just heard a poem where a femme kept referring to her cock as ‘Miss Big Red,’ and then later, just ‘Red,’ which was really hot. Some keep the name that the cock came with (Vixen Creations has some awesome names, like ‘Outlaw’ and ‘Buck’ and ‘Maverick’). Talk about it with your lovers and use the words that you—and they—find sexy and exciting.”
+ What is your beautiful dark Tinder fantasy?
“You go on Tinder when it’s just you and a beautiful woman in an American Apparel dress in an elevator and she’s on her phone too and you match and you push her up against the wall and start making out without exchanging so much as a word.”
via rodeoh
+ Let’s stop talking about dating up or down and maybe treat people like people.
+ Honestly just never fake an orgasm, okay?
+ If you’re not sure what type of mattress best suits your sex life, Sleep Like The Dead has you covered with charts and breakdowns of the merits of each mattress type.
+ Anyhoo made a really quick rundown of sex toy history facts.
+ Here’s some more lesbian porn haiku:
“Ten hot seconds, followed
by months of ‘what does it
mean?’ conversations.”
via drawnwithcurves
+ Sometimes people just feel neutral about sex and that’s okay:
“It’s not that I don’t get aroused, I’m just not horny all the time. To be completely honest, left to my own devices I would be satisfied having sex once a week. This is hard for me to admit. Not only because I write about sex, but also because in my industry high libidos are often equated with perfect sexual health. I’m pretty sure that once this gets published someone will reach out to me and offer to help me find my true sexual self.”
via drawnwithcurves
+ Group sex parties are the best when everyone knows the (and their own) boundaries:
“Rules and group sex have gone hand in hand for decades. The more risqué the sexual party, the tighter the guidelines, particularly in the BDSM world where partygoers consent to physical pain. ‘The space, people’s bodies are sacred,’ Kinky Salon co-founder Polly Whittaker, aka Polly Superstar, recalls from her many years in the BDSM and fetish scene. ‘You do not talk while someone is having a scene, you don’t laugh, you don’t stare … They’ve created this incredibly strict structure because what they’re doing there is working through some really heavy shit and they need safety for that.'”
Monique W 085 by SarynChristina on Flickr. via lesbian silk
+ Women in same-sex relationships might have sex less often but make it count:
“Consistent with past research, women in same-sex relationships reported having sex significantly less often than persons in both mixed-sex and male same-sex relationships. However, women in same-sex relationships reported significantly longer durations of sexual activity than all other groups.
Consider this: for women in same-sex relationships, the median (50th percentile) time spent on sex was 30-45 minutes; in comparison, the median for everyone else was 15-30 minutes. It is also worth noting about 20% of women in same-sex relationships reported spending an hour or more on sex, while durations of this length were far less common among the other types of couples studied.”
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
We should all write lesbian porn haikus. This one is based on my own life because I am unconcerned with social niceties like not oversharing, and I kind of want to brag:
crotch still kinda aches
from thursday fucking session
but it was awesome
Is that why she was so tired ;-)
No Comment
(yes)
MS, the lez
Mounted Sarah, the trans
“Rode hard,…
Put up wet”
Sarah’s dream come true!
:)
Sigh!!! :( That last comment is just a wish I have.
“It’s not that I don’t get aroused, I’m just not horny all the time. To be completely honest, left to my own devices I would be satisfied having sex once a week.”
This make it sound like once a week is very infrequent. Is it…? I’m fine with a few times a year and this makes me feel like that’s freakishly uncommon. I enjoy sex when it happens, but it’s just not something I think about.
It’s probably infrequent among sex writers! ;)
At the end of the day, you do you. As frequently or infrequently as you wish.
Once a week can be infrequent depending on the situation.
The person’s libido, if they live with their primary partner, whether or not they have a primary, if they must seek a temporary partner and only have the space to do that once within a week.
If they have a primary partner and are monogamous it can depend upon their partner’s libido and time they have available for sexual relations. Then of course there’s how they do it, the energy that takes, the satisfaction….
It’s a lot of factors.
I don’t want to be presumptuous but have you ever heard of asexuality?
It exists on spectrum and you seem like you might fall somewhere on that spectrum.
Sorry if this offends or upsets you.
I’m not offended at all – I’m familiar with asexuality, but my understanding of it is that it’s a lack of both a desire for sex and enjoyment of it. I live with my partner but I pretty much never desire it without an external stimulus. Idk it’s just not something I really think of at all expect for when it’s actually happening. But I feel like my dreams are way too sexual for me to be any sort of asexual!
I do people who feel similarly to you that describe themselves as asexual or as a gray-Ace or demisexual. As with any label, its only significant if it matters to you. But if you are interested in being involved with that portion of the queer community, I just wanted to let you know that you’d be welcomed and that your sexual preferences are not unusual among members of that community. The founder of AVEN gave a talk at my medical school so I’m also using this as an opportunity to mention that organization’s name and forums for anyone who is interested. (Though as a warning, the definition of asexual on their website’s homepage does not include gray-aces or demisexuals on it, but they do have forums and other information for such people).
Well, I believe “sex ” is so many different things. There is the “animal” hot – let’s- both- have- an- orgasm sex, then there is the sweet cuddling- on- the- sofa while watching a movie sex, or the five-minute-tongue-mouth-melt-your-brain-girl-girl kissing sex, and the still-on-bed-but-she-got-up-and-you-roll-over-and-smell-her-on-the-sheets-where-she-slept -make-you-smile sex.
All are sex to me , and all are equal in my love for a woman and all come from that wonderful, unique, and special woman who connects, in that mysterious way that love does, with my female heart, and makes me ache to see her.
I had never felt this way until I knew I am a transfemale who is a lesbian….and felt real love.
To be completely honest, my desire to have sex happens far less than once a week. It’s been a problem in my prior relationships, in which people were a little pushy about it. But my person now is incredibly patient and understanding and really seeks to make everything consensual and stuff.
I’m against the idea of putting labels on sex drives. I think it pushes the idea that there’s a “normal” sex drive, and that sex drive equals fucking like rabbits and anything less than that needs its own special label. Um, no thank you. Just because I don’t want to have sex all the time doesn’t mean my sex drive is anything less than perfectly normal. It’s not a part of my orientation. It’s just that I have shit to do most of the time, and other things taking up space in my mind. I mean, really, I think people assume other people have sex more than they do.
I don’t know. I don’t think you have to label yourself just because you THINK you’re thinking about sex far less than everybody else. You don’t know everybody else. There is no normal sex drive. You’re perfectly fine, and don’t let anybody tell you differently.
My psychologist gave me an article by a lady called Sandra Pertot that frames libido in terms of types rather than “high” or “low”. I thought it was a useful tool. If you’re interested, here’s her site: http://sandrapertot.com
(note that some of her language is super heterocentric but that doesn’t necessarily invalidate the models)
See, that’s why I like the label “asexual.” I had people problematizing my disinterest (not disgust, just disinterest) in sex for … a long time. So when I learned about asexuality, it was a way for me to understand and explain my non-sexuality as a perfectly healthy and valid existence, instead of always defending myself as not repressed, not broken, not sick.
But see, I’m not asexual. I do experience sexual attraction, which is the opposite of the definition of asexual. I just don’t like having sex all the time–which is more common than you’d think, especially among women. And I’m not “demisexual” (which is so gdamn flawed/problematic) or “grey ace” or whatever else. I’m just your average woman with shit to do besides fucking most of the time.
Idk. I just get tired of people putting labels on every damn person and thing. It’s pretty presumptuous.
” I just get tired of people putting labels on every damn person and thing. It’s pretty presumptuous.”
Agreed! I mean I used to do that all the time then I realized how silly it is; the need to label and categorize every fucking thing. I learned real quick that it is a more or less ingrained Western-based thought process and when I talked to my family from Nigeria** (especially those who managed not to be *too* assimilated the remnants of British colonization) how seeing relationships between things, were things come from, to me are so profound of how they have a different way of looking and understanding reality. Granted there could be problems of how my relatives see things but is anyone view point hold some type of “absolute objective truth?” No.
**I’ve been doing a project about the auto biography of my family line and so many assumptions on my part because of how I was raised and my identity has thrown me into an partial existential tizzy. I’m feelings things and probably should have some sexy times but maybe I should take a mental cleaning walk instead.
I actually find a lot of comfort in labels, for /myself/. Like, I don’t really care if someone else chooses not to do the label thing, ’cause you do you and all that and I’m not going to label anyone unless they don’t care or prefer it, but personally I find it’s super helpful and comforting to have labels for /me/.
I’ve become a little less concerned with them as I’ve settled into my sexuality, but especially when I was figuring stuff out, labels gave me a way to frame my experience. They still are something I fall back on when talking to new people, because they’re a good jumping off point for a more nuanced understanding of whatever issue.
I think once a week (with another person), on a (regular basis) seems like such a chore due to frequency!
Did this week’s title make anybody else flashback that one time they danced to Hungry Eyes naked post-sex and it led to tender lovemaking?
Anybody? Bueller?
That mattress thing is important. It needs to be a part of some sort of sex ed home ec lesson like consumer math, intro to cooking or Nutrition 101.
that is the kind of flashback I want to have
When my Sweet female uses her strapon to make love to me ( I am a transfemale who still has male parts), we always called the strapon her “cock” and I licked on it and sucked on it as if it was real…..and my penis was referred to as my “clit” and my ass was my tight little “pussy”. For me, I knew I am a female, and she was a female who wanted to explore her masculine feelings, so I helped her, by playing roles.
When a lesbian retreats from using role play…..such as not using the word “cock”….because some idiot guy would tell her ” that means you want to be a guy”…..that is her again letting the patriarchy rule what you are. It is simply fantasy and definitely DOES NOT mean you want to be a jerky guy! hehe
So relax, enjoy your fantasy using the real terms and attitude in your fantasy……and then cuddle after with your sweet love as you fall asleep back in the real world.
I hope the words I used were not offensive to any of you!
It was just the fantasy that my ex gf and I found to be sexy! Ok?
I don’t know if all of you understand, but just feeling my gf deep inside of me….. HER being inside my body…. because I wanted her and trusted her love for me so totally….that bond I feel with her so intimately…. that I wanted her to be inside me and give my self to her and give her pleasure….. which in turn makes me happy. That is what I feel for MS, and I felt for KC , and what I would feel for any of you … if we loved each other. I love knowing I am a lesbian!
The pictures this week are fantastic! Especially the second one and the one with the silver jacket and retro undies. I love that diverse body types that are consistently represented