Let’s Bring Back Top Eight: More Internet Haikus

how’d i just notice
meme is made up of “me me”
really makes you think


the “reed”/”read” debate
is the only proof you need
to doubt everyone


gonna be something
to retweet @realPOTUS
everything is fine


does he get to keep
@realDonaldTrump or no
is it up for grabs


teach your children well
tell them, “hoard twitter handles”
and sell them for cash


a fun game to play
is who’s the least dateable
based on wifi name


like to imagine
meryl’s scrolling the timeline
readers halfway down


at least ten percent
of marriage in modern time
is for the hashtag


in the afterlife
what you have to answer for
is burner accounts


let’s bring back top eight
the thrill of being left out
made you much stronger


also, tom is real
not a bot, but a person
what else don’t i know


manual refresh
a telling character flaw
and one i possess


*thesaurus.com*
*enters in ’emboldened’*
*email blasts results*


the ultimate own
describing an article
as a person’s blog


ice bucket challenge
where we’ll look back realize
we had lost our minds


how’s it possible
craigslist’s aesthetic still screams
floppy disk start up


just think about it
if not for the internet
we’d never have GOOP


deep down tho gwen knows
that if princess di still lived
GOOP couldn’t exist


i admire gmail
for making gchats “hangouts”
it’s bold to be wrong


what’s the german word
for hearing your text alert
as someone’s app noise

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Erin

Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.

9 Comments

  1. these haikus have made my day on several occasions so far. definitely cheered me up today – thanks!

  2. I mean I would get married for wedding hashtag purposes if it was even half as good as #EspositoGetsButcher.

  3. “let’s bring back top eight
    the thrill of being left out
    made you much stronger”

    Oh my GOD.

  4. “i admire gmail
    for making gchats “hangouts”
    it’s bold to be wrong”

    HAHAHAHAHA.

    ‘It’s bold to be wrong’ is going to be my new way of shutting down men who have bad opinions near me.

  5. oh my gosh erin
    I’m convinced everything you
    do is perfect wow

    I can’t do the haiku thing but I tried?

Comments are closed.