Chrissy’s Bananas: More Internet Haikus

feature image via shutterstock

a “where were you when”
for your first enlarge attempt
on a piece of print

a chai tea pour out
to the internet cafes
may your yins be yanged

a timed sesh silence
to hotel business centers
may your outs be logged

a dial-up siren
to the family computer
may your browsers clear

a/s/l salute
to the “general” chatrooms
may you move to AIM

a rewind and kneel
to blockbuster videos
may your days be two

horror movie ads?
in MY youtube autoplays?
modern centipedes

but really, youtube
emotional damages
ever heard of them

opening twitter
like a treadmill on full blast
and trying to walk

chrissy’s bananas
peak of al gore’s sacrifice
thank you for this bread

beware the owner
of snapchat/whats app/tinder
the devil’s threesome

an app for your texts
like an alert from your bank
when things are suspect

rather than blocking
i like to be filled with rage
on the hourly

“blessed be the fruit”
i say glancing at my phone
training on the mic

you: let’s use our words
me: cher’s toilet emoji
you: i was just wrong 

is the cry laugh emoji
truth’s in the usage

saw “meme” on a train
and then “meme” on a building
banksy still at it

college study trend
the collective google doc
our future, children

people who “maybe”
a facebook event invite
should have to say why

real, concrete reasons
to be captcha verified
atone for your sins

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Los Angeles based writer. Let's keep it clean out there!

Erin has written 208 articles for us.


  1. I guess Sara Danius missed this post before announcing the Nobel prize today or we would have had an entirely different situation

  2. I scrolled as far as “Chrissy’s Bananas” while getting ready this morning and debated whether 6:30am was too early to start reading, but apparently when you start your day with Erin haikus, it makes everything better (or at least entertainingly weirder).

    That ol’ cry-laugh emoji though.

Comments are closed.