It feels like Halloween always sneaks up on me. After my sonâs birthday, itâs a hop, skip and a scream into the holiday season, and yet, I forget that every year. Even though we call Thanksgiving into Christmas the âholiday season,â Iâd argue it really starts at Halloween because Thanksgiving is the bridge holiday. We went to Target a week and a half before Halloween, and there were already Christmas decorations out! I picked up two Christmas tree ornaments for my kid alongside the four bags of Halloween candy we got.
As a parent, Halloween is always such a mess of a holiday. You ask your kid what they want to be, they tell you, you get the costume, and then they change their mind or want to wear the costume before the holiday and you fight about it. My son is incredibly picky and also incredibly indecisive, so picking out a Halloween costume is a literal nightmare. There were a few years when he wasnât really interested in celebrating, and they were my absolute favorite. But now that heâs in school, dressing up is important, even if weâre not going to celebrate. If the holiday falls on a school day, then the kids can wear their costumes. And more often than not, Halloween has fallen on a school day since he started kindergarten.
He was obsessed with the Minions when he was a baby, so this was the easy choice
In kindergarten, he decided he wanted to be Spider-Man. I bought him a costume online that was going to get to us in time for the actual day, but not for the Halloween party we were attending the weekend before. I found him a super cheap Spidey costume and had to fight with him to wear the more expensive costume to school. There was screaming and crying, and somehow I still managed to get out the door with my dignity intact. Two years later, I was less successful trying to get him to wear the Power Rangers costume he picked out. Moral of the story: My son doesnât like costumes with fake muscles. That means most superheroes are out. Last year, he went as Ash Ketchum from PokĂŠmon, which was cute. This year, heâs going as some Minecraft character. Please donât ask me which one; he has told me a dozen times and it does not compute. All I know is that itâs not Steve, and the ax we got should have been a sword.
The Spider-Man costume that he almost refused to wear
This year is the first time in a couple years that he can go trick or treating. He usually has his afterschool program on Halloween and has had to skip tricks and treats. This kid was so excited that he picked out his Halloween costume the last weekend in September. More importantly, he hasnât changed his mind! He has been asking to wear it while he plays, and I keep telling him no. Weâll both be happy when he can turn it into a dress-up costume.
Halloween is one of those holidays that remind me that even though I have a âbigâ kid, heâs still just a kid, and heâs clearly not in a hurry to grow up. He was so excited to walk through the costume section of Target, giving us his commentary on why he likes or dislikes costumes. His eyes lit up when he saw that there were Minecraft costumes, and I have never seen him make a decision so quickly and definitively. Heâs already talking about taking his McDonaldâs Boo Buckets with him to collect all the candy heâs going to get, telling us heâs not willing to share with me or his stepmom. I reminded him that he only likes a couple kinds of candy, so the rest of his bucket is fair game. Even though heâs 10 and theoretically the days of wanting to trick or treat are winding down, heâs so excited about dressing up and going out to knock on strangersâ doors for candy.
He may be 10, but he still needs a grownup with him, and Iâm happy to oblige. Weâre going trick or treating with my friend and her four-year-old son, but her neighborâs kids are my sonâs age, so heâll have some big kids to hang with. Iâve convinced my partner we should dress up too, even though her dreams of a family costume never came to fruition. She desperately hung on to the dream of us being Alvin and the Chipmunks for YEARS, but my kiddo just wasnât that into it. It would have been perfect â the three of us naturally identify with a specific Chipmunk, but we missed our opportunity. A 10-year-old doesnât want to wear matching costumes with his moms, and thatâs fair.
Gotta catch ’em all last Halloween
Right now, Iâm trying to enjoy this as much as I can. He is 10, and I know we only have a couple more years of trick or treating and wanting to hang out with his moms and not his friends. I still remember dressing him up as a pumpkin for his first Halloween, and now heâs dressing up as some sort of game character that carries a sword (not a pickaxe, as he not so gently corrected me). Gone are the days of pushing him in a stroller or holding his hand as he walks up to a house and plucks a lollipop from a bowl. Now I stand on the sidewalk and yell at him to grab me a Snickers if they have one. I still have to monitor the amount of candy he eats, but thatâs because I donât want him to eat all the Tootsie Pops.
Is it a baby’s first Halloween if they’re not dressed like a pumpkin?
These moments are fleeting, and of course he canât understand why I want to take a million pictures of him in his costume before he goes to school. I can still remember dressing up and going trick or treating when I was his age, and now Iâm the mom whoâs combing through the candy bucket. The only thing that is still the same is that I donât understand fruit flavored Tootsie Rolls or why people give out Good & Plentys. Pretty soon, Iâm going to be yelling at him to not cause trouble with his friends while I drop him off and eat a 150 piece bag of Hershey miniatures while I cry about my son not needing me anymore. Honestly? Iâm not prepared for it.
In two years, heâll be starting middle school, and in three years heâll officially be a teenager. I feel like Halloween is one of those things that marks the end of childhood and the beginning of everything that comes next. I donât know if this year is going to be the last one where he wants to trick or treat and watch Itâs the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown with me, so Iâm going to enjoy it as much as I can.
What are yâall doing for Halloween? Do you dress up? I want to see!
He did not love that I drew a mustache on him, but sometimes you gotta make a sacrifice for the costume
Queer Mom Chronicles is a column where I examine all of the many facets of queer parenthood through my tired mom eyes.Â
All right so he’s the cutest and that pic of the 2 of you with him in his Spidey suit is the most adorable!
ahh thank you so much! i think he’s pretty cute, but i’m biased ;)
This year marks the end of an era for us. My kid was Black Panther when they were almost 1 and a vet/scientist at almost 2 (November birthday), but then it was 4 years in a row as Miles Morales. I put together a dad-Peter Parker costume and was set.
But this year my kid decided to be Goku from Dragonball Z, and I felt set so adrift (bc I was not gonna match that). I’ve kind of pulled together a Vi from Arcane outfit, which maybe I can add to/improve next year, but it’s simultaneously been a source of stress and kind of disappointing that I don’t have anywhere great to wear it because it’s going to be SUPER cold here this year.
My husband who has dressed up a handful of times in the decades we’ve been together is staying out of it altogether, even though the Dragonball obsession is definitely his doing. đ¤ˇ
it’s so hard when they want to do something new! i hope you get to wear your costume somewhere, even if it’s just at home for photos. i remember living in a cold place for Halloween, and it sucks!
“Please donât ask me which one; he has told me a dozen times and it does not compute. All I know is that itâs not Steve, and the ax we got should have been a sword”
As a fellow parent, that quote was so relatable haha. My 10 yro is a dressing up this year as a character from either an anime,video game, or graphic novel, I just do not have the brain space to remember. Please don’t ask me to try to remember!
i cannot keep all the characters straight! i now want to apologize to my mom, who i would TEST on these things to make sure she was listening to me. truly cruel!