50 People Who Are Definitely A on Pretty Little Liars

26. Caleb Rivers

26-caleb

He is a ghost. A is also a ghost.

27. Kung Fu Jake

27-jake

Another seducer of underage girls and with karate skills too.

28. Tippi the Bird

28-tippi

She’s everywhere and nowhere. Also, she’s a cannibal.

29. Toby Cavanaugh

29-toby

I’d want justice, too, if Alison caused me to go to jail for a blinding I did not commit.

30. Ann Tory Burch Therapyboots

30-annabeth

She knows everyone’s secrets, including Mona’s, and her buried boots are what caused all the Liars to get arrested the first time.


31. Pastor Ted

31-ted

Who wastes a perfectly good face-sized cookie on a marriage proposal? A devil, that’s who. Also, those ghost twins keep showing up when he’s around.

32. Tom Marin

32-hanna

His main goal seems to be ruining Hanna’s life.

33. Shana Costumeshop

33-shana

She was in lesbians with Jenna, whose life the Liars ruined. And we saw her rise from the dead with our own eyes. (No offense, Jenna.)

34. The Mask-Maker

34-mask

He has access to one of everyone’s faces, and one thousand of Ali’s faces.

35. Mrs. Garrett

35-mrs-garrett

There you have the facts of life, bitches.

36. Missy Franklin

36-missy-franklin

Her thirst for world domination will not be quenched by a few paltry Olympic gold medals.

37. Jessica DiLaurentis

38-jessica

She started brainwashing Alison and teaching her guerrilla manipulation techniques when Ali was like four years old. She’s a master of deception and Imperius curses.

38. Detective Holbrook

smarmalarm

Smarm alarm to the max.

39. Snakey

18-snakey

You don’t take a beating from a mannequin leg like the one Cece gave Snakey and just move on with your life. You pursue vengeance!

40. Wren Everydoctor

40-wren

He’s got an in at the hospital, and in at Radley, an in at the dentist’s office, an in an the city veterinarian, and access to all kinds of drugs, and the ability to bamboozle people with his British accent.


41. Noel Kahn

41-noel

He is Jenna’s pawn or Ali’s pawn or both of their pawns, and he’s the last person to see Maya alive, and I think you remember the singing.

42. Pam Fields

42-pam

Maybe she’s playing a J. Walter Weatherman-style long game. “And that’s why you never be gay in Rosewood!”

43. Pepe the Dog

43-pepe

Adorable helper pet or OMINOUS GRAVE-DIGGER?

44. Melissa Hastings

44-melissa

I mean, she one time just buried a body in the yard on the off-chance Spencer had killed the person. She doesn’t exactly have a conscience.

45. Ezra Capote Fitzgerald

45-ezra

Self-explanatory.

46. Mamaw Marin

46-memaw

Why? Because she can.

47. My Dog Margaret

marby

The proof is in the hoodie.

48. Rosewood High School

PRODUCTION SET

Half of all bad things happen here, and the literal building one time came to life to try to murder Emily.

49. Birds

49-birds

This is all Aria’s fault.

50. Mona Vanderwaal

50-mona

She’s not dead.


Who do you think is Big A?

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Heather Hogan

Heather Hogan is an Autostraddle senior editor who lives in New York City with her wife, Stacy, and their cackle of rescued pets. She's a member of the Television Critics Association, GALECA: The Society of LGBTQ Entertainment Critics, and a Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer critic. You can also find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Heather has written 1719 articles for us.

44 Comments

  1. My final guess is that Mrs. D had a pair of twins (older than Jason) with Bethany’s dad. One of them is A. The other is dead somewhere.

  2. #50!!!!!!!!
    The Vanderjesus hardcore trolled herself in season 2 and has hyperadrenalized reality.
    She’s totally going to rise again like phoenix from the ashes of the PLLs freedom.

  3. This is the BEST. Thank you, Heather Hogan! Also, please write a book – I can’t get enough of your writing!

  4. Andrew. Only a psycho could watch Spencer Hastings de-bra during a game of strip nerd without batting an eyelash.

    • I’m 100% on Andrew being A…plus, he’s turned the creepy up to 11now that Aria kissed him.

  5. Maybe she’s playing a J. Walter Weatherman-style long game. “That’s why you never be gay in Rosewood!”

    ….LOLOLOLOL thank you so much for writing these..also your dog Margaret looks just like my dog Buffy and I haven’t ruled her out as A yet either.

  6. Man, I really need to catch up on PLL. It sounds like it has got increasingly ridiculous and I got busy when I was about half way through season 2.

  7. So will the next list be 50 people who are definitely A who aren’t on Pretty Little Liars? Cuz Heather is clearly number one on that list.

  8. Hahaha Sean Virginity! The snake! Birds! All the joke names – can’t decide which is my fafurite purrt of this. So good :D

  9. My guess is Hanna or Aria. Aria because shit didn’t start happening until she returned to town. Hanna because they have spent WAY too much time this season making comments and showing just how smart she REALLY is.

  10. Okay, I think I’ve FINALLY figured it out!

    A is THE FIRST, and lives in the Hellmouth that is located underneath Rosewood High School, and keeps taking on the guise of various members of the town of Rosewood, to manipulate OTHER members of the town of Rosewood into performing dastardly deeds.

    It’s the only plausible explanation.

  11. OMG, This is so hilarious! I am So Glad I logged on and saw this before watching tonight’s episode because I will now be thinking of all the suspects’ new names during the show. [It took me two readings to get “Coachprah” – LOL!] I guess I will be okay with the reveal of Big A as long as it’s not Emily, Hannah, Pam Fields, or Ashley Marin. Did you see in the last episode how the camera panned over to Caleb as soon as Emily and Aria speculated that someone must be giving instructions to that lawyer? That spooked me. Hope A is not essence of best boyfriend Caleb.

  12. WAIT. Is Wesley Fitzgerald played by the same guy who plays Liam Booker? Or do all teenage men look the same to me now.

    • Yes.

      But also: Yeah, to me too. You can only look at so many untalented, boring, over-gelled, straight white twenty-something guys trying to play teenagers until they all start to blend together. And it does not help that they are all on every show, and only seem to have like three names between them. Like Andrew from PLL also being Liam on The Fosters and also Cyndee’s gay fiancee Brandon on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt!?

    • Exactly.

      Wesley Fitzgerald = Liam Booker = Selena Gomez’s Werewolf boyfriend from Wizards of Waverly Place.

      Why I know that last piece of information, I don’t even know.

  13. “She started brainwashing Alison and teaching her guerrilla manipulation techniques when Ali was like four years old.” i laughed at this so much. it reverberated into all of my PLL memories and ricocheted off that one image of Alison angrily holding her breath while at lunch with her mom. ive never gotten over that scene. who the hell can control their breath like that!!!! alison’s relationship with her mother is so creepy and interesting

  14. This article made me laugh. A lot. I think I actually woke up the people next door to me.

  15. I’ve been marathoning PLL for the past week and a half while working on cosplay because dear god why is Matsuri only 3 and a half days away oh god why

    and I’m only on season 3, but the SO and I have come to the conclusion that the only plausible solution at this point is every single member of the own is A (minus the 4 PLL) and the PLLs are being molded through harrowing torture to become the sacrifice for a ritual to summon an eldritch horror.

    Series finale = apocalypse.

    I mean, it’s the only thing that makes sense. (Also, I’ve been suspicious of Aria since ep 1, just because of her presence in the opening credits. But I’m loving the idea of it being Hanna.)

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