Tonight is the season 5B finale of Pretty Little Liars, and apparently we are for sure or absolutely not at all going to find out who Big A is. But you don’t have to wait until 8:00 p.m. for the reveal because I have compiled all the evidence I’ve been collecting for five seasons and sussed out the answer. These 50 people are definitely A.
1. Jenna Marshall
The Liars blinded her by throwing fireworks at her face, and remember how A announced that she wasn’t Ali at the end of the Christmas episode? Uh-huh, honey: Fireworks in the shape of an A.
2. Lucas Muddy Shoes McGee
The Grunwald said Emily had been touched by the one Ali feared the most and it was Lucas who gave her that creepy-ass gloved massage in secret that one time.
3. Jason DiLaurentis (Original Head)
Maybe he’s mad because he got an entirely new face and no one even cared.
4. Johnny Garbage Art
Clearly a psycho.
5. Ben Coogan
As soon as Emily stopped using him as a beard, A texts started coming in.
6. Big Rhonda
Rhonda said Bethany did those drawings of a Godzilla eating Mrs. D, but how do we know that’s true? Maybe it was Big Rhonda herself. Also, Aria kept stealing her shit, so she probably wants revenge for that, and who can blame her.
7. Coachprah
She certainly had access to Emily’s sports cream (that was secretly poison cream!).
8. Diane Fitzgerald
Maybe she thought she could encourage Ezra to date adults if she made the lives of the children around him seem terrifying.
9. Maya St. Germain
She moved into Ali’s old bedroom and had access to all of Ali’s old stuff, which means she had access to all the Liars’ secrets, and anyway, we know the dirt in Ali’s backyard is breathable. Maya doesn’t have to be dead just because she got buried.
10. Wesley Fitzgerald
What kind of monster ruins a perfectly good pizza by hurling it down the street?
11. Paige McCullers
No, you’re using this list as an excuse to post a photo of Paige McCullers in her hoedown getup.
12. The Grunwald
A literal witch with actual magic powers. She’s the second most capable person w/r/t doing all the things A can do.
13. Malcolm Mack
I’d want to set the world on fire, too, if I found out Ezra was my dad and Aria was my babysitter.
14. Samara Cook
Maybe she learned how to cope with break-ups at the Jenny Schecter School of Emotional Health. Maybe she went nuts after Emily went back to Paige.
15. That Kid in the Doll Hospital
Follow him, end up like him.
16. Jason DiLaurentis (New Head)
He fell down an elevator shaft and lived, so obviously he’s indestructible, and he’s a known pervert and misanthropist.
17. Cece Drake
We’ve seen what this broad can do with a mannequin leg. Imagine what she can do with a shovel.
18. Adam Lambert
Only a real vampire would be that excited to talk to Aria.
19. Meredith Jody Sawyer
She did lock the Liars in a basement one time like it was a dungeon, and anyone who would go to those lengths to date Byron Montgomery is completely unhinged.
20. Holden Hobbit Strauss
He was in a fight club, I think you’ll remember, so he’s definitely got the ninja skills.
21. Sydney Driscoll
She traded souls and skin with Jenna the way Cece did with Alison, so there’s something bigger than just run of the mill lesbianism going on here.
22. Talia Empanadas
She’s her own personal secret machine.
23. Jackie Molina
Maybe she wanted to get revenge on Ezra for breaking off their engagement to date a 14-year-old, and so she decided to engage in emotional warfare against the 14-year-old and her best friends.
24. Uncle-Dad Jamie
Fact: Loves barns. Fact: Two-thirds of everyone who dies in Rosewood ends up in barns.
25. Sean Virginity
He made Hanna go to chastity club to shame her for wanting to have sex just because he was gay. A known butthole!
26. Caleb Rivers
He is a ghost. A is also a ghost.
27. Kung Fu Jake
Another seducer of underage girls and with karate skills too.
28. Tippi the Bird
She’s everywhere and nowhere. Also, she’s a cannibal.
29. Toby Cavanaugh
I’d want justice, too, if Alison caused me to go to jail for a blinding I did not commit.
30. Ann Tory Burch Therapyboots
She knows everyone’s secrets, including Mona’s, and her buried boots are what caused all the Liars to get arrested the first time.
31. Pastor Ted
Who wastes a perfectly good face-sized cookie on a marriage proposal? A devil, that’s who. Also, those ghost twins keep showing up when he’s around.
32. Tom Marin
His main goal seems to be ruining Hanna’s life.
33. Shana Costumeshop
She was in lesbians with Jenna, whose life the Liars ruined. And we saw her rise from the dead with our own eyes. (No offense, Jenna.)
34. The Mask-Maker
He has access to one of everyone’s faces, and one thousand of Ali’s faces.
35. Mrs. Garrett
There you have the facts of life, bitches.
36. Missy Franklin
Her thirst for world domination will not be quenched by a few paltry Olympic gold medals.
37. Jessica DiLaurentis
She started brainwashing Alison and teaching her guerrilla manipulation techniques when Ali was like four years old. She’s a master of deception and Imperius curses.
38. Detective Holbrook
Smarm alarm to the max.
39. Snakey
You don’t take a beating from a mannequin leg like the one Cece gave Snakey and just move on with your life. You pursue vengeance!
40. Wren Everydoctor
He’s got an in at the hospital, and in at Radley, an in at the dentist’s office, an in an the city veterinarian, and access to all kinds of drugs, and the ability to bamboozle people with his British accent.
41. Noel Kahn
He is Jenna’s pawn or Ali’s pawn or both of their pawns, and he’s the last person to see Maya alive, and I think you remember the singing.
42. Pam Fields
Maybe she’s playing a J. Walter Weatherman-style long game. “And that’s why you never be gay in Rosewood!”
43. Pepe the Dog
Adorable helper pet or OMINOUS GRAVE-DIGGER?
44. Melissa Hastings
I mean, she one time just buried a body in the yard on the off-chance Spencer had killed the person. She doesn’t exactly have a conscience.
45. Ezra Capote Fitzgerald
Self-explanatory.
46. Mamaw Marin
Why? Because she can.
47. My Dog Margaret
The proof is in the hoodie.
48. Rosewood High School
Half of all bad things happen here, and the literal building one time came to life to try to murder Emily.
49. Birds
This is all Aria’s fault.
50. Mona Vanderwaal
She’s not dead.
Who do you think is Big A?
Comments
My final guess is that Mrs. D had a pair of twins (older than Jason) with Bethany’s dad. One of them is A. The other is dead somewhere.
MARGSY!!!!!!!!!!
#50!!!!!!!!
The Vanderjesus hardcore trolled herself in season 2 and has hyperadrenalized reality.
She’s totally going to rise again like phoenix from the ashes of the PLLs freedom.
This is the BEST. Thank you, Heather Hogan! Also, please write a book – I can’t get enough of your writing!
Best username EVER btw
Andrew. Only a psycho could watch Spencer Hastings de-bra during a game of strip nerd without batting an eyelash.
I’m 100% on Andrew being A…plus, he’s turned the creepy up to 11now that Aria kissed him.
Maybe she’s playing a J. Walter Weatherman-style long game. “That’s why you never be gay in Rosewood!”
….LOLOLOLOL thank you so much for writing these..also your dog Margaret looks just like my dog Buffy and I haven’t ruled her out as A yet either.
Man, I really need to catch up on PLL. It sounds like it has got increasingly ridiculous and I got busy when I was about half way through season 2.
Monamonamonamonamonamonamonamonamona
Spencer devoured Mona, and absorbed her power and evil.
So will the next list be 50 people who are definitely A who aren’t on Pretty Little Liars? Cuz Heather is clearly number one on that list.
Hahaha Sean Virginity! The snake! Birds! All the joke names – can’t decide which is my fafurite purrt of this. So good :D
No, it’s Spencer I tell you. SPENCER!
http://forums.afterellen.com/threads/spencer-is-a.98/
My guess is Hanna or Aria. Aria because shit didn’t start happening until she returned to town. Hanna because they have spent WAY too much time this season making comments and showing just how smart she REALLY is.
Okay, I think I’ve FINALLY figured it out!
A is THE FIRST, and lives in the Hellmouth that is located underneath Rosewood High School, and keeps taking on the guise of various members of the town of Rosewood, to manipulate OTHER members of the town of Rosewood into performing dastardly deeds.
It’s the only plausible explanation.
Standing ovation.
Also the first/A killed the returned un-aged therefore probably vampiric Kendra the vampire slayer…
Done. Solved. Most plausible theory ever.
OMG, This is so hilarious! I am So Glad I logged on and saw this before watching tonight’s episode because I will now be thinking of all the suspects’ new names during the show. [It took me two readings to get “Coachprah” – LOL!] I guess I will be okay with the reveal of Big A as long as it’s not Emily, Hannah, Pam Fields, or Ashley Marin. Did you see in the last episode how the camera panned over to Caleb as soon as Emily and Aria speculated that someone must be giving instructions to that lawyer? That spooked me. Hope A is not essence of best boyfriend Caleb.
WAIT. Is Wesley Fitzgerald played by the same guy who plays Liam Booker? Or do all teenage men look the same to me now.
Yes.
But also: Yeah, to me too. You can only look at so many untalented, boring, over-gelled, straight white twenty-something guys trying to play teenagers until they all start to blend together. And it does not help that they are all on every show, and only seem to have like three names between them. Like Andrew from PLL also being Liam on The Fosters and also Cyndee’s gay fiancee Brandon on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt!?
Exactly.
Wesley Fitzgerald = Liam Booker = Selena Gomez’s Werewolf boyfriend from Wizards of Waverly Place.
Why I know that last piece of information, I don’t even know.
Same.
Because Selena is too damn hot and I’m still upset she dated Liam Booker when Hayley Kiyoko was RIGHT THERE flirting it up with her.
what if it turns out to be Missy Franklin though
also this was hilarious
How bout Harold aka Norman bates from the lost woods resort.
Wait, Caleb has a last name?
It’s obviously Mona.
Those aren’t just dolls – they’re Horcruxes.
11…how well you know your audience…
It’s articles like this that make me really wish I’d watched at least a bit of PLL.
Here’s the new clue.
The thing about Wesley Fitz is that I keep reading his
Dang it! What I meant to write was that I keep reading his name as Weasley. But he’s nowhere near good enough for the Weasley name.
i think your first comment was very poetic
Pretty sure I just saw Holden in a cell phone commercial sooo…
This is amazing.
“She started brainwashing Alison and teaching her guerrilla manipulation techniques when Ali was like four years old.” i laughed at this so much. it reverberated into all of my PLL memories and ricocheted off that one image of Alison angrily holding her breath while at lunch with her mom. ive never gotten over that scene. who the hell can control their breath like that!!!! alison’s relationship with her mother is so creepy and interesting
liked the article…could have down without the casual ableism :/
This article made me laugh. A lot. I think I actually woke up the people next door to me.
Jenny Schecter School of Emotional Health. LOL! I’m still placing my bets on Tanner.
This isn’t even funny. People look for real answers.
I’ve been marathoning PLL for the past week and a half while working on cosplay because dear god why is Matsuri only 3 and a half days away oh god why
and I’m only on season 3, but the SO and I have come to the conclusion that the only plausible solution at this point is every single member of the own is A (minus the 4 PLL) and the PLLs are being molded through harrowing torture to become the sacrifice for a ritual to summon an eldritch horror.
Series finale = apocalypse.
I mean, it’s the only thing that makes sense. (Also, I’ve been suspicious of Aria since ep 1, just because of her presence in the opening credits. But I’m loving the idea of it being Hanna.)
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