There are so many elements that go into planning a lesbian wedding and so many ways in which our ceremonies are different and often potentially better than your traditional heterosexual occasion. If you’re anticipating an impending lesbian wedding — your own, perhaps! —you might be wondering “how can I maximize the lesbianism of my lesbian wedding by ensuring that the words we share with our guests and each other are as lesbian as possible?” In fact, a reader wrote into us here at Autostraddle.com with a request in that spirit:
My fiancee and I are picking readings for our wedding in June. We are planning on going through our poetry books (Mary Oliver, Audre Lorde, Frog & Toad…) and have, our course, googled “lesbian wedding readings” but we wanted to pick your lovely brains as well.
Here are Gabrielle Grace Hogan and Riese’s recommendations for your lesbian wedding.
Feature image byHoi An and Da Nang.
The closing poem of her newest book Lonely Women Make Good Lovers, I thought of this the minute I read your request. This entire collection is full of love poems to Kuipers’ wife — this one, in particular, strikes as the best for a wedding. Not just because it mentions marriage outright, but because it addresses exactly what a marriage is: a pact. A decision to not just be in love forever, but to care for one another, and to create from yourselves an entire world. It is such a beautiful way to close a collection, and surely a beautiful way to begin your wedding. (-Gabrielle Grace Hogan)
Whether or not this poem will work depends on your audience — can they handle hearing the word “horny’ for example? (I do think this poem could work without that word, even if so.) But this poem is so fun and playful, and gets at the mundane activities and the tiny, running bits that tie a life together. (-Riese Bernard Hansen)
Short but effective, Jordan’s poem here is a quiet ode in a loud and raucous world. As stated by this article, Jordan’s usual political tone is softened but not removed from this love poem. In a society that so often maligns and seeks to destroy Black bodies, especially those of Black queer women, such a poem refuses to allow such terror to reach their marital bed. In this moment, no matter what is going on outside, the speaker is “amazed by peace” as they watch their lover breathe in and out in sleep. (-GGH)
“Love Poem With Traditional Anniversary Gifts” by Jane Cassady
This is kind of a fun one, I think! It just plays with all the traditional anniversary gifts (linen, copper, leather, etc) in a sort of queer way. You’ll see. (-RBH)
Another short poem (which may be for the best, depending on how much your guests like poetry), Oliver similarly observes her lover in peaceful slumber. The poem’s beginning, with the speaker’s assertion that they want to pay attention to every aspect of their lover and their life together, is a wonderful way to begin your marriage: one as a pact of remembering, as the desire to never take for granted any happinesses. (-GGH)
“Dear—” by Donika Kelly
“What is the metaphor for two animals / sharing the same space? Marriage?” I mean!!! This is just one of a few in her “Dear—” series that pushes back against grandiose metaphor to get down to the real marrow of things, the small animals of it all. Where else is this approach needed more than at a wedding, you know? (Also she is married to Melissa Febos, another writer I love) (-RBH)
Admittedly this might be a curveball of a choice, considering this poem is significantly longer and raunchier than the other suggestions. But as a poet personally indebted to Myles’ work, it felt insulting not to include! A gorgeous narrative spiral of a love poem, Myles’ trademark wit and sentimentality procure such lines as “why shouldn’t / something / I have always / known be the / very best there / is,” or “With / you I know how / to relax.” This poem may be a bit longer, but it would be so worth it. (-GGH)
“Senior Discount” by Ali Liebegott
I love Liebegott’s poetry. “Senior Discount” is about a richly imagined future, being old and a little forgetful and weird in the supermarket. It’s a wish for so many more days together and for getting older and cuter every minute. (-RBH)
If you want to go as classic lesbian as can be, a Dickinson poem is the perfect bow to tie this present with. Not necessarily intended to be a love poem, this poem certainly can be used as such for its beginning line and title. “Without Debate – or Pause – ” this poem could make a wonderful addition to your ceremony. (-GGH)
About the power and beauty and glory of lesbian love that has a shot at forever. (-RBH)
Stein has a very specific style, obviously, with how she plays with syntax, and this specific poem is a play on an ‘old parlor game’ I’m wholly unfamiliar with — but the result is absolute whimsy, and there’s something especially nice about how it sounds read out loud. (-RBH)
