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breakups

two women holding hands laughing w the text "i'm not feeling it tbh" overlaid on top
Sex + Relationships

Call It Off: A Very Subjective Primer on Breaking Up with Someone You’re Casually Dating

How are you supposed to end things with somebody you’re seeing casually or have more of, idk, “a thing” with? Well, no one really has that figured out, but here are some ideas for how to break things off with the person you’re seeing casually based on the nature and length of your relationship.

By Rachel| 8 hours ago | 15 Comments
A woman in a white T-shirt with long, black hair holds her hand to her forehead and looks out the window.
Advice

You Need Help: My Partner’s Pandemic Practices Suck and I Want to Break Up

Transmitting a deadly virus doesn’t exactly say “I love you,” so it makes sense that this particular conflict is bringing up big questions about your relationship.

By Malic White| December 15, 2020 | 7 Comments
A distressed-looking woman with short hair looks out a window.
Advice Sex + Relationships

You Need Help: How Do I Get Over Breaking My Ex’s Heart?

Breaking up with someone does not make you an asshole.

By Kayla| December 1, 2020 | 7 Comments
A person with long curly red hair and a very cute pair of thick black glasses, wearing a dark blue denim shirt, stares off to the left of the camera and thinks hard about their ex.
Advice Sex + Relationships

You Need Help: Am I Really “Over Them” Enough to Date New People?

There is no quantifiable metric for being over someone. If you’re ready to date, you’re ready to date.

By Kayla| October 19, 2020
Advice Sex + Relationships

You Need Help: How Can I Be a ‘Good Ex’?

Relationships change. Relationships end. It’s not inconsiderate to move forward; sometimes being a good ex means maintaining boundaries.

By Kayla| October 13, 2020 | 4 Comments
A+

You Oughta Know: The Letters to Our Exes We Won’t Send

But we will show you!

By the team| July 30, 2020 | 21 Comments
Advice

You Need Help: Is It Normal To Be Happy In a Relationship and Still Think About an Ex?

Time won’t necessarily “fix” it, but the more distance you have from the relationship and the more time you invest in healthy coping mechanisms, the less destabilizing these thoughts will feel.

By Kayla| July 28, 2020 | 14 Comments
Advice Sex + Relationships

You Need Help: Why Can’t I Break Up With Them?

You owe it to yourself and your partner to be honest.

By Kayla| July 7, 2020 | 16 Comments
woman with head in hands on bed
Sex + Relationships

18 Reasons Why You Might Be Breaking Up In Quarantine

11. For some alone time with the sex bench.

By Carolyn Yates| May 12, 2020 | 1 Comment
Vapid Fluff

BREAKING: Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson Reportedly Split in Quarantine, Love Remains a Lie

But who gets custody of the rescue puppies and the sex bench?!?!?

By Stef| May 6, 2020 | 14 Comments
Advice Sex + Relationships

You Need Help: Will I Ever Get Over My First Ex or Is Closure a Myth

Closure is a choice — often one you have to make on your own. And it’s absolutely okay to not be friends with an ex.

By Kayla| April 21, 2020 | 8 Comments
Advice

You Need Help: How Do I Stop Thinking About the Ex Who Cheated on Me?

Betrayal burrows into brains. When cheating comes to light, there’s a tendency to obsess over the minute details. You’ll replay things in your head, wonder how they were able to get away with certain things, and sometimes even be hard on yourself for it.

By Kayla| April 14, 2020 | 4 Comments
Advice

You Need Help: Should We Break Up In Quarantine?

Self-isolation is forcing all of us to reflect. Maybe that’s not so bad.

By Malic White| April 7, 2020 | 2 Comments
First Person

Courting Loneliness

It was like saving a seat on the bus for someone who routinely happened to never show up. It was like setting the table for someone who decided to eat an hour before coming over for dinner.

By Kamala Puligandla| March 5, 2020 | 7 Comments
girl sits in her window, a laptop on her knees, a cat nestled at her feet. the graphic says "i think we're alone now - a week of being alone at autostraddle
Sex + Relationships

Breakups and Being Alone 101: The Autostraddle Guide To Life After Love

We’ve got advice on breakups and exes, playlists to see you through, unhinged behavior we highly recommend and so much more from the annals of Autostraddle’s achy breaky hearts.

By Riese| March 4, 2020 | 9 Comments
Society + Culture

How Social Media Fucked Up Lesbian Breakup Culture

Breakups are so often garbage and hard, and managing the social media that surrounds it is just another gross layer that makes them even more garbage and even harder.

By Rachel| March 4, 2020 | 2 Comments
Advice

You Need Help: Why Do I Miss My Terrible Ex?


When relationships end, we might feel angry or wistful or hurt. Giving ourselves space for all of those feelings is how we bust through the pain and turn it into growth. 


By Malic White| February 4, 2020 | 7 Comments
Books Sex + Relationships

24 Quotes From Queer Authors About Heartbreak, Loss and Moving the F*ck On

“I want you to know, if you ever read this, there was a time when I would rather have had you by my side than any one of these words; I would rather have had you by my side than all the blue in the world.”

By Riese| January 9, 2020 | 10 Comments
Sex + Relationships

How to Honestly Tell When It’s Time to Break Up

Sometimes it takes an outside perspective and an objective read on what’s going on to tell whether it’s healthiest to separate — which is why our team is here to tell you from experience when it’s time to go.

By the team| December 11, 2019 | 20 Comments
Music Sex + Relationships

Why Is It So Damn Hard to Build a Good Lesbian Breakup Playlist?

I don’t want to put any songs on my breakup playlist that any of my exes have used, or are using, to woo their new girlfriends.

By Rachel| August 13, 2019 | 26 Comments
Sex + Relationships

The Unique Grief of Ending a BDSM Relationship

Breaking up is hard to do, but what do we know about breakups between Dominant and submissive? This is a personal exploration of how grief settles when the collar comes off.

By DaemonumX| August 9, 2019 | 50 Comments
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From the Archives

  • Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About My Sexual Orientation And Were(n’t) Afraid To Ask

    Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About My Sexual Orientation And Were(n’t) Afraid To Ask

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    21 More Lesbian Slang Terms You’ve Probably Never Heard Before

  • Florence + The Machine: The Autostraddle Interview

    Florence + The Machine: The Autostraddle Interview

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Latest Posts

  • Pop Culture Fix: Jules’ Special Episode of “Euphoria” Is Landing Early!

    Pop Culture Fix: Jules’ Special Episode of “Euphoria” Is Landing Early!

  • Choose Your Own Therapy Adventure: The Alphabet Soup Therapies CBT, DBT and ACT

    Choose Your Own Therapy Adventure: The Alphabet Soup Therapies CBT, DBT and ACT

  • We Keep Each Other Safe: Making a Covid Safety Plan for the Real World

    We Keep Each Other Safe: Making a Covid Safety Plan for the Real World

  • No Filter: Looking at Tessa Thompson, Our Heart Literally Stops Beating? Is That… Normal?

    No Filter: Looking at Tessa Thompson, Our Heart Literally Stops Beating? Is That… Normal?

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    Yes, Virginia, Queer Women Can Casually Date: Here’s How It Works

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