You’ve heard of it before — the elusive act of vaginal ejaculation (commonly referred to as “female ejaculation” although it’s not just “females” who can do it), squirting. It’s wet, it’s messy, it’s HOT. But what is it? Where is it coming from? How are y’all doing it? What actually “counts” as squirting? Can only some people do it? IS IT PEE?

My journey to becoming the “prolific squirter” I am now was not unlike many I’ve heard, but at the time I thought I was a total medical marvel, a mysterious being who just discovered a brand new way bodies respond to stimulation. I’d always known something was happening in all those years I spent masturbating in the shower, but I was in denial and chalked it up to just being the running water from the shower getting in the way, not that my body was creating an unidentifiable fluid.

That was until I got my first rechargeable vibrator, the Form 2 by Jimmy Jane.

At this time in my life, I actively detested any act of penetration, but powerful external vibration was my FUCKING JAM. The longer I’d use it and the harder I’d press the vibrator to my clit, the more build up I felt and the more I felt like I had to pee. It wasn’t a sensation I was unfamiliar with, and typically I’d ignore it or try to block it out, or I’d stop masturbating and just go pee. But then this one time? This one time I said FUCK IT and went ahead to see what happened if I just… let myself release that feeling instead of holding it back. Worst case scenario: I’d pee.

So I turned the vibrator up another level and could feel the vibration make its way down my entire vulva. Pressure built and I was nervous, but I bore down and like magic, this fluid came gushing out of my body in a way that has since been described as “a fire hose.” It didn’t feel like peeing, it was very different, but it felt so, so good. I couldn’t stop! I hadn’t come yet, much to my surprise, and found myself having one of the most satisfying orgasms after soaking my entire bed.

After this, I was completely engrossed in knowing what this meant. Why did it happen for me solely from clitoral stimulation, why did I squirt before I came and not when I was actually coming? What was it that made me so sure that I wasn’t peeing? Why, now that I had opened the floodgates (so to speak) was I unable to stop? I scoured the internet for answers, but the results were unfortunately bleak. I was attempting to conduct research for my own sexual validation and instead had submitted myself to the exhaustive exercise of filtering through cis male scientists determined to prove that this was, in fact, just urine.

But I KNEW it wasn’t! I could tell! I know what came out of my body!

Some Squirting Facts

In time, with experience and with talking to folks who’ve been on similar journeys, there are a few things I’ve come to know to be true. Let’s start here before we get to the “how-to.”

Squirting is NOT PEE

In 2015, a “study” came out in which scientists tested seven people who claimed to ejaculate more than a glass worth of fluid during intercourse. Ultrasound machines were used, misinformation was given, and it made its way around the internet at rapid speed. Epiphora came out guns-a-blazing to remind the internet that it is, in fact, #notpee.

I’m no scientist and I’m not in the business of picking apart studies, but I will say that its findings contradict several other studies which have previously shown that ejaculate contains zero or low levels of urea and creatinine. Its findings also go against several thousand million¹ vagina-owners, including myself, who have reported that the stuff they ejaculate does not look, smell, or taste like pee. Also, WHO FUCKING CARES what the chemical make-up of the ejaculate is?! Are we trying to “prove” it’s pee so we can keep shaming people for doing it?

Though research is still minimal at best, this much remains true: though the fluid excreted during vaginal ejaculation does exit the urethra, and it does collect in the bladder much like urine, the fluid itself only carries mere hints of urine. This fluid has been referred to as prostate-specific androgen (PSA) and is a water-like fluid that collects in the bladder when the skene’s gland (like prostate for people with vulvas) is stimulated. Its chemical compound is actually similar to that of seminal fluid, sans the obvious presence of sperm itself. This is also to say that there IS a difference between the fluid one’s body produces vaginally when aroused and the fluid that exits the body when one is squirting.

Squirting doesn’t only occur during climax

In most pornography or erotica, squirting is considered the be-all-end-all. It’s the sign that this person has had the BEST ORGASM OF THEIR LIFE – But in action, it’s more often than not something that happens prior to orgasm, and does n’t necessarily imply that the person squirting is close to orgasm or that the sex you’re having is particularly incredible. I’m sorry to tell you this! Bodies respond to stimulation differently, and sometimes you can be hitting all the right places on a person’s body that triggers them to squirt, and that doesn’t necessarily mean you just had the best sex ever, that your partner came, or that they’re even particularly into the thing you’re doing!

However, the action of squirting does often lead to a stronger orgasm for some folks, and there are loads of people who do also squirt while they are actually coming. Just keep it in mind that somebody who squirts isn’t always all finished up… they might’ve only just begun.

Squirting can be achieved through vaginal penetration/g-spot stimulation… or not

Just about every book, article, or educational video ever created on squirting talks about the g-spot exclusively as the way to find yourself in the business of soaking your sheets. Here is some breaking news for you: there are so! many! ways! to squirt!! While it’s true that the g-spot is more commonly thanked for this wonderful gift, it’s not the one and only way to go. Clitoral stimulation, anal stimulation, even things like nipple play or sensation play can lead to some incredible squirting.

So You Want to Know How to Do It?

The thing is, there’s no RIGHT way to squirt or to get someone to squirt. There’s no one trick that gets every person, without fail, to magically ejaculate like a pro. Some people squirt a lot from just about anything. Some people can only do it a little and only in one specific way in one specific position. Some may find that, try as they might, it just isn’t in the stars for them! That said, here are some places you can get started in trying to hosting your very own water show.

Vaginal penetration

The G-spot (or Grafenberg spot) is typically located about a fingers length past the vaginal opening, but varies person to person. It can be found on the upper part of the vaginal canal and most often can be felt by simulating a “come hither” finger motion up toward the belly button. The G-spot has a more bumpy, spongy-like texture to it and when stimulated, swells to become more prominent. This is the most commonly known stimulus to initiate squirting. With fingers, genitals, or with a product like the Njoy Pure wand or the Gigi 2 by Lelo, rock back and forth into the g-spot, applying a comfortable but deep pressure. There is also a less commonly discussed but still very incredibly important spot within the vaginal canal called the A-spot, or Anterior Fornix Erogenous zone, which is past the g-spot and located farther back near the cervix, usually right where the vaginal canal begins to curve upward. It can be stimulated similarly to the g-spot, but has been known to not necessarily need as much pressure as the G-spot does. Experiment with different pressure, different speed, and varying positions. Try giving what was recently described to me as a “deep tissue vaginal massage,” paying attention to how your body responds. It’s sometimes easier to squirt if, once you feel you’re at the point of ejaculating, you remove what’s being used for penetration to give space for the pelvic floor to fully bear down and push out the built up fluid.

External stimulation

Although only a small portion of the clitoris is exposed, the organ itself extends down either side of the vulva with the clitoral legs (or “crus of clitoris”), which end just on either side of the vaginal opening. Because of the extension of the clitoral legs, and because of the similar tissue the clitoris and the g-spot share, external stimulation can actually cause a sort of reverberation to the vaginal opening and create stimulation within/around the vagina. Toys like the Hitachi Magic Wand, We-Vibe Tango, or the Womanizer Premium have been known to create enough focused stimulation on the clitoris to cause such a reaction. But toys aren’t everything — oral sex and hand sex have been known to elicit a similar reaction. Surface area and pressure can be your friend in this situation, but on the flip side, super pinpointed stimulation directly to, or on either side of, the clitoris could do the trick. Sometimes it can be helpful to apply pressure around or beneath the vaginal opening with fingers.

Anal penetration

Butts are so magical! While folks with vulvas do not have a prostate to stimulate like folks with penises do, the wall between the vaginal canal and anal canal is thin enough to actually stimulate the G-spot or A-spot solely from anal play, and the extension of the clitoral legs can potentially extend down near the rectum. Not to mention that the anal canal itself is full of sensitive nerve endings that can increase the sensation of receiving stimulation of any kind. The options of anal safe toys are vast, be they plugs like The Fun Factory Booties, Dildos like The Pleasure Works Charm 1 or 2, or Vibrators like The Lelo Loki.

Much like stimulating the various spots within the vaginal canal, explore applying pressure or rocking back and forth up toward the belly button with fingers, toys, or genitals. It’s been found that folks can access their A-spot anally through deeper anal penetration, which is more often where they find themselves squirting from anal play. But explore your options! Wear a plug and receive vaginal penetration simultaneously! Use a vibrator externally and receive anal penetration at the same time! Just be sure that whatever you use anally has a base, and that any curvature is positioned upward.

Things to Keep in Mind

It doesn’t all have to be down to a science, and there are things that could be listed elsewhere that didn’t get mentioned. Different bodies respond so differently to stimulation, and there are so many other fun activities you can try to see if it gets that motor running for you. Things like anallingus, nipple stimulation, double penetration, sensation play, spanking, grinding, fisting, tickling, even just some hot and heavy smooching have been ways folks have found themselves creating their own private swimming pool.

Trust your body and what it’s telling you. When you feel pressure in your lower abdomen, try to not hold it back. Lean into it, release and bear down as if you are almost trying to lay an egg. Do not forget to breathe! It’s also so important to remember that once you’ve got yourself going, there’s not one sure-fire way any person squirts. There are so many ways one could describe the way they squirt: a leaky faucet, a waterfall, a sprinkler, a geyser, a babbling brook, a shower head. Name a source of water and I would bet that someone somewhere has described the way they squirt akin to that water source. Bodies are so cool!

For easier clean up, products like The Liberator Throe or some simple waterproof bedding covers are your friend. Keep towels nearby and drink lots of water, you will need to hydrate. The more you hydrate prior the more fluid you have available. Make sure to urinate beforehand both to clear out the bladder and to alleviate any stress that you might pee on accident (unless that is what you’re going for, you do you!). Check in with your partner prior if you know this is a thing you can or want to do. Shaming is never cool, but it is important to consider ahead of time the type of clean up that is involved, and if your partner is comfortable with being covered in fluids. That said, a reminder that the fluid that exits the body while one squirts has not been linked to carrying any STI’s or harmful bacteria. And as always, lube is your friend!

Try one thing or try a bunch of things, mix and match. Try all of them simultaneously or one at a time! Don’t feel discouraged if you find you just can’t do it, you are so hot and you’re doing great! Like anything, some peoples’ bodies just aren’t equipped for such a thing, and there really isn’t any explanation as to why that is. We are all so different, isn’t that cool? Have fun, stay safe, and make a mess!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!