Welcome to the Golden Globes! The only award show that sticks a bunch of TV actors and a bunch of movie actors in one room, feeds them a mediocre meal and forces them to pretend to care about each other’s craft.

A lot of ladies are paving the way to hot geekdom for the rest of us so today we’re serving up a hot first course of sexy nerds with Tina Fey, Rachel Maddow, Felicia Day, Ana Marie Cox & Miranda July. These are some sexy geek ladies we love to love (and look at!). We also love that they make it cool to be a nerd!

Turns out that when you create the first ever show with a cast of almost all queer women, and do it on a cable channel that allows multiple scenes of what just barely misses qualifying as porn in every episode, we gays get resourceful.

On the latest episode of Two and a Half Men, Jon Cryer’s character starts dating a trans woman. Despite what you may have heard, their interactions are pretty much as disrespectful and tasteless as you would have expected from a show like this.

You may be experiencing Lesbian Prison Show Withdrawal Syndrome, and it’s a very serious condition. Go ahead and download yourself a dosage of the Aussie prison drama Wentworth!

I hope your terrible facial hair overtakes your face and you choke on it.

Someday I will write an article comparing this entire show to Harry Potter, but today is not that day.

It’s Open Mic Night in Rosewood and Emily’s about to learn just how good Shana is at fingering.

“I start unbuttoning my shirt, but can’t really decide on a way to make getting undressed in this space any less uncomfortable, so I just drop my pants.”

“Steph is making cheese sandwiches with no condiments of any kind. Lesbian moms are cruel.”

“I feel like Hitachi is to vibrators as Dyson is to vacuum cleaners. There just isn’t one more powerful. So if you like vibrators, you should have one.”

This week on Glee, The New Rachel dreamed a dream that Glee was good again and Marley-Kate wrote some songs with Lord Tubbington and Finn missed sociology!

“There was so much fucking estrogen and so many ladies who fist other ladies in that building, my ovaries tried to reproduce asexually.”

To be a rebel is to stand defiantly and purposefully in the face of something. It’s not defiance for its own sake: it’s a war cry into the darkness.

This week on Glee, the “lesbian blogging community” was publicly shamed for being TOTALLY AWESOME. Also, Rachel sang some songs and there was a bit of dancing.

You voted and the results are in – the best 100 queer-lady fiction or memoir books of all time!

Hint: it’s not what The National Organization for Marriage’s Ruth Institute would like you to believe.

It’s a moving picture show on the internet.

#1 thing we don’t understand about America: the enduring success of Two and a Half Men, CBS’s “guy-com” starring Charlie Sheen and John Cryer. Perhaps recapping it will enhance our viewing experience.

Over 3,000 of y’all let us know who you are and what you want, so now it’s our turn to tell you who you are and what you want. With infographics!