“Stef and I say, “Nothing intimate about that!” and then Stef and I laugh, but the Serious Music of Relationship Doom starts and Stef and I know we’ve made a terrible mistake.”

“The doorbell rings and it’s Emma the Wrestler with noodle kugel! We get a little primer on how Jews respond to funerals. Hint: They bring kugel. Every time they say “kugel,” I hear “kegel” and do 15.”

Stef is watering the bushes when Lena gets home from the doctor and says, “Have fun at the gyno?” Lena says, “It’s more action than I’ve gotten from you in awhile.”

Relationships are no picnic… but wait! Maybe they are!

Digression 6: My first lesbian date ended on the roof of a small town Pizza Hut, but she knew what we were doing because she helped me push the dumpster up against the wall.

Plus Sara Lance is faaaaalling for someone, Star Trek: Discovery gets a little gayer, and Counterpart’s lesbian gets some action.

Too many plots, but one good one: Monte and Lena go on a stakeout!

Hey, let’s add a little dash of teen pregnancy to this overstuffed season of teenage dramatics.

Stef has had it, y’all.

Jesús skateboards around his own imagination while he’s in a coma; yet, somehow, Callie still has the worst luck!

Welcome back, Stef and Lena, my perfect angel babies.

It’s the season three finale and Stef’s breast cancer didn’t kill her at all! Not even a little bit!

Stef had her surgery and she’s doing just fine!

Stef and Lena keep not telling their kids that Stef has cancer.

Stef’s not dying of her cancer. Yet.

Lena makes the very bad decision not to tell Stef that she kissed Monty.

Lena and Stef keep secrets from each other, and it is not good. Worse, though, is Jude and/or Connor gets shot!

Jude and Connor pinky hug while Stef and Lena glower at each other.

Lena and Stef’s gaggle of children make it impossible for them to get their scissor on. Again.

“Back at wrestling practice, Perky Emma of the Ankle Picks offers Jesus a cookie — an organic cookie with no dyes. Maybe she has lesbian moms too.”