QUIZ: Who’s Your Queer Celebrity Dream Date?

On March 9th, 2021, Autostraddle turned a whole 12 years old! Simultaneously three hundred years old in gay internet years and a literal tweenager in actual human years!

And yes, this week we are really leaning into the awkwardness of our young adolescence, we’re writing letters to our past selves, we’re hosting a Middle School sleepover style AMA for our A+ members, we’re taking trivia remembering oh so fine 2009… and now!

Do you remember those celebrity dream date quizzes in the back of teen magazines? Well for Autostraddle’s 12th birthday, I decided to queer it up!

(*Yes we tried to set up a game of M.A.S.H. for y’all, but our technology hasn’t caught up with us yet. But hey, maybe for our 13th birthday! You never know!)


Who's Your Queer Celebrity Dream Date?


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Carmen Phillips

Carmen is Autostraddle's Editor-in-Chief and a Black Puerto Rican femme/inist writer. She claims many past homes, but left the largest parts of her heart in Detroit, Brooklyn, and Buffalo, NY. There were several years in her early 20s when she earnestly slept with a copy of James Baldwin’s “Fire Next Time” under her pillow. You can find her on twitter, @carmencitaloves.

Carmen has written 715 articles for us.

54 Comments

  1. Homemade dinner for two with Chef Melissa King…honestly, this sounds extremely dreamy…I married an amazing cook so this is pretty on brand!

  2. “an Afternoon at the Museum of Natural History with Jen Richards

    You can race each other to see who can correctly spell “Mesozoic Era” first”

    I mean, yeah, I would suggest a spelling contest while on a date.

  3. Candle Making and a Walk in the Park with Queen Latifah hard yes always. This is a random but perfect combination.

  4. “a Homemade Dinner for Two with Chef Melissa King”

    u right, autostraddle

    that’s EXACTLY what I thirst for

  5. I am so honored to have gotten Candle Making and a Walk in the Park with Queen Latifah despite the fact that my ideal Saturday (cleaning the house!!!) is not listed

  6. IS THIS MAGIC?!?!

    MY TEEN CRUSH IS SEIMONE AUGUSTUS!!!! WHERE DID YOU FIND MY LOST JOURNALS?!?!!

    One of my close friends/basketball teammate in middle and highschool is cousins with her. I went to sooo many LSU games and watched my friend talk to her and I could never muster up the courage to say anything. I went to basketball camp at LSU one summer and still said no words as she was teaching me drills!!

    • YES I LOVE THIS COMMENT!!!!! I LOVE TO WORK MAGIC!!!

      (Also? This is an amazing story!)

    • 😍😍😍😍😍

      I would not have been able to say anything either 😭😭😭

  7. OMG I just looked her to up confirm I spelled her name correctly, and…we have the same birthday.

    • Oooh I share a birthday with one of my favorite queer poets & I was so excited when I found out

    • My partner got the same date but was mad that it didn’t include food 😂 🤦🏻‍♂️

  8. “A protest with Indya Moore

    If we’re honest with ourselves, all revolutions are defined by love.”

    Sign me UP!

    • First of all, love the quiz, more quizzes, all the quizzes, keep them coming.

      Secondly my date is open mic night at the comedy cellar with Carrie Brownstein and while I am shy af and will not be taking the mic, thank you, I am still pretty damn impressed with my results, given that she is one of my top celeb crushes. (Have you ever heard her speak? Like for real? She is so intelligent and well-spoken… It is beyoooooond sexy.)

  9. “Your Queer Celebrity Dream Date Is… an Afternoon at the Museum of Natural History with Jen Richards”

    Sounds perfect to me!

  10. “Your Queer Celebrity Dream Date Is… an Introvert’s Afternoon Tea with Sarah Paulson”

    Honestly, that sounds delightful

  11. I’ll have a chat with my wife, but a (post-Covid) museum date with Jen Richards sounds really great. Thanks, Carmen!

  12. Your Queer Celebrity Dream Date Is… a Private Studio Session and Personalized Love Song from Bre-Z

    Oooh!

  13. “Your Queer Celebrity Dream Date Is… Drinking Green Juice in LA with Kristen Stewart

    Make sure to practice your scowl for the paparazzi cameras ahead of time”

    This quiz was so fun to take and all of the other answers in the comment section are amazing too!

  14. The mobile site really just puts comments wherever it wants, doesn’t it?? My comment posted elsewhere as a response so let’s try again.

    First of all, love the quiz, more quizzes, all the quizzes, keep them coming.

    Secondly my date is open mic night at the comedy cellar with Carrie Brownstein and while I am shy af and will not be taking the mic, thank you, I am still pretty damn impressed with my results, given that she is one of my top celeb crushes. (Have you ever heard her speak? Like for real? She is so intelligent and well-spoken… It is beyoooooond sexy.)

  15. Tea with Sarah Paulson? You’ve seen inside my soul! A nice quiet coffee/tea with a chill smart lady sounds perfect.

  16. „Your Queer Celebrity Dream Date Is… Drinking Green Juice in LA with Kristen Stewart“

    It’s more of a nightmare (green juice! hunted by paparazzi!) but the quiz was the best.

  17. Carmen, this might be the first time I’ve seen anyone openly acknowledge that one middle school cafeteria table where we all brought books, truly, thank you, I feel seen.

  18. Indya babe, I’m so into this protest but maybe after we can swing by chef melissa’s and then head out to the woods for a campfire-roasted feast with Janelle… ok so maybe I want a whole celesbian polycule and maybe I just miss doing things

  19. Carmen how did you know I *literally* fantasize about dodging the paps in LA with Kristen at a green juice bar??? I have NEVER laid eyes on a pic of her out n about in LA with a gf w/o mentally photoshopping myself into it. More Autostraddle magic! and I will take more of these quizzes ANY day! Carmen you’re a powerful fairy gaymother

  20. “An Introvert’s Afternoon Tea with Sarah Paulson at that cute coffee shop around the corner, with biodegradable cups of course!” Autostraddle, you know me. This is uncanny.

  21. Oh my god I got Jen!! And the museum is really a good option.
    You’ve just brighten my day :)

  22. “Candle Making and a Walk in the Park with Queen Latifah

    She’ll tell you old war stories from the 90s while the wax cools.”

    Haha, literally one of my favorite things about meeting a new person is that I get to tell them all my stories that everyone I already know has heard 10 times before. (I’m gonna be really fun when I’m 80, let me tell ya.)

Comments are closed.