Please Not Forever 19


edited by carmen.

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Smar lives in Athens, Greece, is in a constant effort to organize her life and wonders if she'll ever be ready for the responsibilities of a cat. She has illustrated a children's book about different types of families, uploads a new page of her webcomic Home Queer Home every Wednesday, and is mostly known for her "OMG Lesbians!" comics.

Smar has written 1 article for us.


  1. Smar, yiasas! I’m half Greek (I’ve never lived there, though) and idk how you did it but you really captured the quintessential Disapproving Greek Elder expression in that top panel next to “And it did have consequences” (I hope that makes sense, I don’t really know how to describe the components of a comic). Anyway, thank you!

  2. I loved this. I could relate to so much of it, because I too spent my teen years knowing deep, deep inside me that I was gay but actively and furiously repressing it. And I literally LOL’ed at “Nothing Gay Here” :)

  3. Thank you so much for this. It sums up my teenage years perfectly and I love that you included “Plus homophobia and its effects don’t stop existing when you grow up” because that’s something I don’t see enough of and it means a lot.

  4. I love being a grown-up, for all the reasons in the comic.

    I also love being able to wear whatever clothes I want (no dresses for 35 years!), eat whatever I want, sleep with whoever I want.

    I get to earn my own money, spend it on what I choose (yes, including the bills, but they are MY bills), and not have to account for how I spend my time. I generally know what I want, and there’s only so much other people’s bullshit I need to deal with. I fuck things up sometimes, but they are MY fuckups.

    I am grateful every single day that I am no longer a child or teenager. My childhood was awful – I never want to experience that powerlessness again. And I also get to play and laugh, with whomever I like, and a hell of a lot more than I did as a child.

    Yes, I’ve had some tough times, sometimes lasting years, but hopefully things will never be that bad again.

    50, and I haven’t hit the downward slope yet. Long may it continue.

  5. This really hits the nail on the head with the cultural differences between queer and straight people and how unappealing returning to my youth would be. It’s different for everyone and what the costs of adulthood are for you, but for where I am at, my rent and taxes are worth whatever nostalgia I have for childhood. I frequently have had straight people try to get me to say what age I would return to, and how free and exciting being a teen was, and it’s so frustrating that they just don’t get it.

    I also lost a friend in middle school when she came out and my mother disapproved. That’s extremely difficult. I’m glad things are better now for you…. .-.

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