Welcome to Interviews With My Ex-Girlfriend, in which Autostraddle writers get back in touch with their ex-girlfriends to ask them Five Simple Questions:
1. How long did we date?
2. Why did we break up?
3. What did you learn from our relationship?
4. What do you miss most about me?
5. Would you invite me to your wedding (why/why not)?
A long time ago in a land far away (early 2008-ish), I met a girl named Becky who asked me to go on a date with her because I hung out with her five times without ever singing "Baby Got Back." I thought she asked me out because I was smart and funny and oh so charming, but later she told me it was the "Baby Got Back" thing. "No offense," she said. None was taken. I dated Becky before I started writing my life story on the internet, so she asked me not to share her picture or social media, but she did say I could post "something" from around the time we dated, so.
Heather: Hey, man. Thanks for agreeing to do this interview.
Becky: No worries, ...
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