I hadn’t intended to watch the new Fox sitcom Call Me Kat and it’s not because Mayim Bialik will always be Blossom Russo to me and I looked just like her when the show was on the air in the ’90s and so everyone in middle school called me Blossom and constantly asked me where my little hats were. Mostly that’s not why. Probably. Call Me Kat is an adaptation of the UK’s Miranda, and for every The Office, there’s three dozen beloved British sitcoms that get adapted for American TV and just don’t work. Also no matter how good Phoebe Waller-Bridge is at it, fourth wall-breaking on television still freaks me out. But PR people kept emailing to tell me Call Me Kat is gay and also there’s so many cats, so I decided to give it a go.
Call Me Kat is gay, but not in the way Call Me Kat thinks it’s gay. Gay Leslie Jordan is gay, and he’s a hoot in the way he always is. And gay Cheyenne Jackson is Kat’s love interest. Okay, but Kat herself is gayer than all that times a dozen. She’s a single 39-year-old woman who owns a cat cafe and several of her own cats, only ever wears Docs or sneakers with her “15-piece capsule wardrobe” that includes a green pantsuit that is her prize possession, knows every word to every show tune and Katy Perry song, has a photo of the Louisville women’s basketball team in her closet, and says things like “That’s cuter than a Calico in a sweater vest.”
Yeah all those are stereotypes, but stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason (says the lesbian wearing a plaid shirt and Chuck Taylors sitting in the home she and her wife share with the four cats they rescued).
The show wants you to think Kat’s just not great at dating, but I posit: Kat doesn’t want to date men! Her mom’s the one constantly harassing her to go out with them, and she says all her relationships just fizzle out, and the longest one she’s ever had is three months. You’re thinking Liz Lemon, but Kat is the opposite of a misanthropist. And she really likes herself! Her mom says she’s too old to be so eccentric, but Kat disagrees. In fact, the character she reminds me of most is Ellen from her ’90s sitcom! But with more pratfalls.
The reviews for Call Me Kat haven’t been great, which makes sense, because there are a lot of weird moving pieces, including a laugh track, and the fourth wall-breaking really is a lot. Plus, for a show about cats, there are not very many cats; and hardly any cat hijinks. The only thing less believable than Kat being straight is how well behaved all the cafe cats are around coffee mugs and pastries. There is, however, one dog in a bowtie who sits atop a piano (also gay).
I can’t believe I spent my entire youth telling people to stop calling me Blossom and now I’m having to try to convince everyone Mayim Bialik is just like me!
Anyway, I am bringing this here to you today to hear your opinion. Is Kat a lesbian or what?