Also.Also.Also: Have You Considered That Mindful Masturbation Is the Key to a Good New Year?

We are back! And it’s a new year! And I am trying out a new recipe for dinner with maybe some peppermint ice cream for dessert and I CANNOT WAIT!

Queer as in F*ck You

I don’t usually include Kehlani dating rumors, because there are always Kehlani dating rumors, but this one feels like it might be legit: Meet 070 Shake, Kehlani’s Rumored Partner

We got this tip from an A+ member!! There’s a small but mighty team of 3 lesbians who are conducting a study on the impact of Portrait of A Lady On Fire on the lesbian and queer community and wow would they love to get more eyeballs on it. Statistically (and I can say this because I have the data) we know that Autostraddle readers love taking surveys and love Portrait, so I’m betting a lot of you are already excitedly clicking that link and no longer reading these words I’m typing —

The Queer Farmers Reimagining American Agriculture. “A nascent movement of LGBTQ+ farmers is working to build community in rural spaces and provide an alternative to Big Ag.”

Two California Teachers Were Secretly Recorded Speaking About LGBTQ Student Outreach. Now They’re Fighting for Their Jobs.

This is from December 29th, so I’m assuming chances are high Amy’s already made more since then? Everyone around the Autostraddle way is SO EXCITED FOR AMY SCHNEIDER!! ‘Jeopardy!’ Champ Amy Schneider Becomes Show’s Top Woman Earner (Wait!? WHAT??? I just saw this as I was gathering links! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ‘Jeopardy!’ Champ Amy Schneider Says She Was Robbed Over Weekend)

Saw This, Thought of You

How Mindful Masturbation Got Me Through 2021

LOL, and if you squint just enough this is sort of related? How Hobbies Infiltrated American Life

Punk Music Has an Unacknowledged Debt to Latinx Refugees. I learned so much from this!

Political Snacks

How Does This End? “Where the crisis in American democracy might be headed.” (Ugh, sorry to end us on a dark note? My bad.)

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Carmen Phillips

Carmen Phillips is Autostraddle's former editor in chief. She began at Autostraddle in 2017 as a freelance team writer and worked her way up through the company, eventually becoming the EIC from 2021-2024. A Black Puerto Rican feminist writer with a PhD in American Studies from New York University, Carmen specializes in writing about Blackness, race, queerness, politics, culture, and the many ways we find community and connection with each other.  During her time at Autostraddle, Carmen focused on pop culture, TV and film reviews, criticism, interviews, and news analysis. She claims many past homes, but left the largest parts of her heart in Detroit, Brooklyn, and Buffalo, NY. And there were several years in her early 20s when she earnestly slept with a copy of James Baldwin’s “Fire Next Time” under her pillow. To reach out, you can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram, or her website.

Carmen has written 716 articles for us.


  1. Very excited about the gay agenda podcast in Kristana’s comment. Very unexcited about that Portrait survey which I did a while ago and had no way for me to really say how boring and uninteresting this lesbian found that movie

  2. Fuuuuck!! just read Mindful Masturbation and I so relate. I’ve been seriously heartbroken for the last six months after my break up and kind of working through the stages of grief. I took heart from one of your articles on the inner child and WE made a promise that we will live our life with no reference to anyone else (invidious comparisons, etc). so if anyone loves us, it’ll be because we are loveable and that they are good 💚. Of course, we will always be the kind generous person we’ve always been; we’re just not going bend over backwards to get people to like us.

    Anyway back to the opening Fuck! Love Ro’s suggestions for resolutions, by the way (latest Sex and Dating Newsletter – is it lime green or acid yellow?)

    Number 1 is already in action since ce New Year and is going well (come back to the article in a mo) Number 3 will do when I have the cash and a partner who fulfils criteria 2. Number 4 is a certainty, especially since reading “True Secrets of Lesbian Desire). As for number 5, well I’m not sure, I’m pretty good at faking, but it’ll depend on my partner.

    Now really back to the article: in my processing I was trying to work out where my narcissistic ex was on the sexuality spectrum and I chanced upon auto-sexuality. As I read, I thought… Fuuuuck!! (Feminist is my second favourite F word) that’s me they’re talking about. You see, for the last, don’t know how many years; I’ve been mainly a people pleaser, and in sex, I get as much, if not more sensual pleasure from touching and feeling than just orgasms, which is why I’m not over keen on toys, I want the sensual touch as well as feeling the ‘Touch’. So since reading the articles, I’ve been much more in tune with myself and loving myself and look forward to going to bed alone, or with me to be precise.

    I know that this can seem Narcissistic but it’s not. There is clear water between a narcissist, someone With Narcissistic Personality Disorder and someone on the Auto-sexuality spectrum. I’ve been feeling inadequate and mousy for the last six months, but since the New Year resolutions and accepting my Auto-Sexuality (at least 75%) I walk around a couple of inches taller and don’t doubt anything about myself. BTW from what I’ve read, Auto- sexuals can have perfectly meaningful romantic and sexual relationships with others.

    Anyway, thanks for publishing and helping this woman find peace and contentment after a stormy break up. rupi kaur says: “there is no substitute for the emotions the women of my life give to me… that’s for you darlings at Autostraddle. When I flip over a couple ofhe pages, she says: “masturbation equals meditation…” this one is for all women…

  3. Thank you for all your work, Carmen!! I’ve really appreciated your posts, because they help keep me informed on all things queer going on. Also thanks so much for sharing the link for that Portrait of A Lady On Fire survey!❤️

  4. Thank you so much for mentioning our survey on ‘Portrait of A Lady On Fire’! We love seeing the number of respondents going up, thanks to y’all. And we also love that it’s under a headline about Mindful Masturbation?!

    For context, we are sooo hopeful that we’ll get to (past?) 1000 respondents, which will officially make our survey the largest lesbian study EVER. We plan to share the findings with the community and public, all in service to more and better representation of us. FYI, the best way to keep abreast of all Portrait Survey-related stuff is to follow us on Instagram @portraitofasurveyonfire. Thanks again!

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