Always Be My Baby: Our Semi-Professional Opinions on What Keeps Queer Couples Together
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These are beautiful and honest and so true. Thank you!
Some other thoughts that come to mind, at the risk of being TMI???:
– When you’re in an argument, it’s not you versus your partner. It’s both of you versus the problem that you’re trying to solve together.
– Say thank you: for the little things, the big things, the silly things.
– Take care of each other. My partner and I have a joke/not joke where one of us will go “I’M the sick one!” when we need to be fussed over or spoiled a little bit, and we take turns without (! important!) keeping score. I have some chronic pain stuff so I take, uh, a lot of turns, but I really enjoy making sure she gets doted on enough too/feels appreciated for caring for me.
-Even if we have a busy week(s) where it’s hard to have sex (having visitors/flu/etc.), we still hit on each other a looot and have lots of close intimate touch in other ways (holding hands, cuddling, long long hugs, etc.)
Heather, I’m gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you on the bathtub sex thing. Bathtub *penetration* oh absolutely not, but it is ideal in a thigh pressure situation when one partner likes the water boiling lava hot and the other doesn’t cause no one has a bathtub big enough to share anyway
But did they EAT MY CHEERIO in the tub
um wow
Heather’s advice!!! I’ve been with my girlfriend for ~5.5 years and the one thing we always remind each other is that we’re on each other’s teams and always assume the best of each other. (She even got us matching engraved caribeaners for our last anniversary). Relationships are tough and they change as people grow but as long as you’re willing to keep putting in the work and bringing out the best side of yourself and them it’ll work.
ENGRAVED CARIBEANERS is truly some next level gay
i just need you to know i’m 100% stealing this idea for my wife for christmas. so gay and so practical!
THIS POST IS GIVING ME ANXIETY for the currently established couples, it feels like a jinx anyway it’s fine i’m fine
It’s ok QG! You are not personally responsible for the outcome of love being a lie or not!
…or are you
I have many complaints, is this the right window to bring them to then?
My vote for what keeps queer couples together:
visa requirements
Ouch. I had friends that fell apart dramatically months after a greencard came through.
lol sally
see also: length of lease remaining
There’s a lot of great advice here, but this in particular stands out for me: “React to your partner like they mean no harm.” I’ve been on the receiving end of both – distrust, criticism, endless questioning and demanding justification for the smallest perceived slights on one end of the spectrum, and open-hearted generosity of spirit on the other – and the difference is immeasurable. The former left me feeling constantly insecure and on edge, while the latter has allowed me to blossom in relationships like I’d never experienced before.
The sad thing is that sometimes there are decent people who have been badly hurt in the past (and obviously, it’s important to be aware of if/when your partner is in fact trying to harm you!) and they react this way because it’s what kept them safe at one point. But after a certain point of constantly trying to prove that you’re trustworthy, things are going to crumble if something doesn’t change within the other person.
I’m not in a romantic relationship, but I’ve had the same roommate for a decade, and the bit about “it’s not you vs. me, it’s us vs. the problem” is pretty helpful in most contexts, I find
Very poignantly said Vanessa, thank you!
💜💜💜
“your turn to call the landlord” –> so real
*Me* -> also I own the house
i don’t think i’ve ever commented on a post before today but heather’s answer made me cry so much! this whole thing is so beautiful! thank you for sharing yourselves with us! i spent my entire day reading old journal entries and this is really pushing me over the fuckin edge!!!
“I’m also a 36 year old woman who is medium nice and I’ve yet to be in a relationship that has lasted more than six months.” Stef, I thought I was the only one! I’m glad you exist. <3
<3