Welcome to 2026, gays! We’re here, we’re queer, we’re embracing the new year. Specifically, we’re going to get a little chaotic, because what even WAS 2025?!??!?! There’s no telling what 2026 will bring, so why not make a wild resolution and see what happens?
Quiz: What Should Your Gay Chaotic New Year’s Resolution Be?
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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya
Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, fiction, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the former managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear in McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, The Rumpus, Cake Zine, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The AV Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. When she is not writing, editing, or reading, she is probably playing tennis. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.
Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya has written 1137 articles for us.
Comments
Well I got “move to a different country,” but been there/done that in 2025 (FOR NO PARTICULAR REASON INDEED). So, accurate, if I was perhaps a bit anxious to get moving on said resolution…
“Don’t say hook up with your ex, don’t say hook up wth your ex, don’t say hook up with your ex, don’t say hook up wth your ex…. Dammit.”
“Really drastic hairstyle change”. Yknow, I was thinking it and thinking it and i think this is a sign to DO IT
Go for the chop!
Go on 10 Dates Per Month!
Averaging out to more than two dates per week, this will likely require a lot of careful planning and scheduling, but maybe if you’re already a spreadsheet gay you’ll be good to go.
That’s a LOT of museums!
I see your museam and I raise you to aquarium (fish museam) or, better yet, local fish shop (free aquarium!)
“Try Lesbian Oil Wrestling”
What is is this “lesbian oil” and can I have a gallon or two?