Here we go! The final stretch of this first The Ultimatum: Queer Love season two drop! We’re discussing episodes 6 and 7, and you can revisit recaps of episodes 1-3 and episodes 4 and 5. And then we shall collectively wait with bated breath until the next drop on July 2.
The Ultimatum: Queer Love Recap – Episode 6
Third Week of Trial Marriages (Continued)
Mel + Marie
Yes, we have a rare and forbidden meetup of original partners mid-first trial marriages, but unlike the AJ/Britney meetups, this one is on camera. Marie picks Mel up in her car, and they have the entire conversation right there. Marie says Dayna made it very clear she’s so happy to have Mel as her trial wife. “And then after this lovely conversation, Haley comes and tells me there’s proof that you and Dayna are fucking,” Marie says.
She asks if they’ve fucked and if Mel is lying. Mel says no, that it didn’t happen. Well then where is this coming from? Marie wants to know, because she’s very fucking triggered. “Is this going to soil everything?” she asks. Mel says she and Dayna have a connection and that they kissed but that’s the extent of it.
WHY IS SHE LYING????????????????????????????????????????????? THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT EVENTUALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO SHORT-SIGHTED!!!!!!!!!!!
Haley + Magan
Magan gives Haley the lowdown on Mel confronting her and also tells her Dayna called her to tell her she doesn’t want to marry her. She thinks Mel and Dayna came in ready to protect each other because they know they’ve done wrong. Haley says Dayna was talking about how she and Mel have been holding each other. “Yeah, holding each other or humping each other?” Magan asks. Whatever receipts exist about Mel and Dayna’s physical connection, Magan seemingly has them, too.
“You’re not gonna slander my wife,” Haley says, to which Magan responds “PERIOD!”
Haley says marriage is not the milestone for her anymore, and Magan says she’s so proud of her. She’s showing herself to the world more, and the world could use more of her. Magan then squats Haley’s body? And they roll around on the floor. Okay, these two are simply in puppy love and nothing can touch them.
Dayna + Mel
Mel tells Dayna that Haley told Marie there’s proof they’re fucking, and this sets Dayna all the way off. She wants Haley’s phone number. “Slimy bitch,” she says. I for one would certainly never get on Dayna’s bad side. I don’t want her to run my food truck into the river, and I don’t even HAVE a food truck!
Five Days Until the Changeover
Kyle + Pilar
Kyle introduces Pilar to her mom and dad, who are very cute. Kyle’s upbringing was pretty lax, and as a result, she doesn’t always tell someone like a partner when she’s leaving or where she’s going, and she knows that’s something she should work on. Her mom warns Pilar against becoming Kyle’s therapist, which, fair. Kyle’s mom, almost acting as therapist, asks what issues Pilar has with Haley, and Pilar opens up about her family stuff.
Kyle’s mom actually gave Kyle’s dad a marriage ultimatum when they were first together, and she says you have to think to yourself not can you see your life with the other person but can you see your life without them? Ultimately, most of Kyle’s mom’s advice is geared toward making things work with Haley, which is nice. This is sweet! We could use some sweetness on this show, especially now that shit really is hitting the fan.
AJ + Marie
AJ asks if Marie prefers sunrises or sunsets, and Marie says a sunrise means she was up all night which is never a good thing so she’ll go with sunset. Fair enough! Marie says Mel is incredibly adament that she did not have intercourse with Dayna. She thanks AJ for making a safe space for her to fly off the handle about all of this. AJ says the topic of marriage with Britney feels scary, but Marie has given her the space to express herself. “Not to be gay or cheesy,” AJ says, and Marie calls her gouda, correcting it to “gayda,” the gooiest and cheesiest. At least Marie has AJ, who really does seem like a good friend through all this.
On a lighter note later, the two are talking about sex toys, and AJ notes poetically that she likes her shit swaaaaaaangin.
Dayna + Mel
Mel wants answers from Dayna. “You don’t know that I love you?” she asks. She tells the camera she has told Dayna she has “more than friend feelings” for her, and Dayna admits she wants her but isn’t sure what that means. You know what time it is! Time for People Having Serious Conversations Under Blankets on the Couch!
Mel really wants answers! What the fuck are we doing!, she wants to know. I think she’s probably spiraling after being confronted by Marie and knows she could lose her when the truth comes out so wants to know if Dayna is a viable option walking out of all this. Dayna says she can’t answer her questions without talking to Magan. Fair! Dayna worries that if she doesn’t tell Mel what she wants to hear, then she’s gonna shut down on her. Mel just wants her to be real, and she says every time Dayna talks about Magan she feels like she isn’t focusing on her. Idk girl, I think it makes sense for her to be thinking about talking about the person she has been with for 1.5 years a bit more than the person she has been “with” for < 3 weeks.
Dayna says the “breakup” didn’t feel real with Magan until very recently. Now is when I would normally chime in to remind us all that the breakups indeed aren’t really real and are just a construct of this show’s wild premise, but…in their case? It might be kind of real! I think Magan is kind of done with Dayna!
To avoid making any direct statements about her own feelings, Dayna instead says to Mel she thinks Mel knows how happy she is. Alright, we’ll leave it at that I guess!
Later in the episode, they get…matching tattoos. Matching four leaf clover tattoos. Dayna admits it isn’t the best idea but that she isn’t really a good idea person anyway. Magan and her have talked about getting matching tattoos, so she anticipates Magan getting mad. This is wild! Dayna needs to make up her mind: Mel or Magan? She’s sending a lot of mixed signals to them both. And Mel is really making the decision to get this tattoo with Dayna after Marie’s breakdown?! WHAT IS GOING ON.
Haley + Magan
Magan is meeting Haley’s family! And they’re doing it over a meal at home rather than out, which is pretty cute. Magan is excited to meet Haley’s dad but scared to meet her sister. She doesn’t have a sister herself, and she knows that kind of relationship can be intense. Haley also notes that her niece is like a sister to her. Magan asks if her outfit looks okay. Omg, she really cares a lot about this. Not beating the Falling In Love With Your Trial Wife allegations! Though to be fair, I don’t think either of them are really trying to beat those?
Haley tells her dad, sister, and niece how similar she and Magan are. They all know how different she is from Pilar. “We’ve always been super honest,” Magan tells them (for three weeks, I’ll remind you).
Haley’s sister immediately asks about kids, and Magan notes they discussed it on their first date. She reiterates she wants kids. She’s Lebanese and comes from a culture that emphasizes the importance of it. Haley tells her family that the fact that Magan wants to carry does nudge her a bit. This is not the Haley her sister knows! Haley’s dad is surprised, too, especially by how easy Magan and Haley are making this absurd situation seem.
Haley’s niece says Magan seems really genuine and kind but also starts crying, saying she really likes Pilar. Omg, someone assure this teen! I don’t think teens should be brought into the universe of this show at all! It’s too confusing and weird! If my sister were like “here’s this person I just met who I am considering a life with instead of the person I’ve been with for a DECADE” I would be so perplexed! But Haley does assure her that Pilar will always be in her life.
Magan reiterates that the whole experience has been eye-opening for her, and that not matter what a lot is going to change.
Britney + Marita
Marita wonders if she’ll have to change Britney’s name in her phone from “wifey” to “divorcee.” See, I love that these two are so unserious about it all. Suddenly, they’re crying and emotional, but it’s just because they both know what they want and aren’ sure if they’re going to get it from their partners.
Marita asks Britney what she hopes to see from AJ, and Britney isn’t sure what to expect from her. For what it’s worth, I do think Britney could end up with a ring on her finger at the end of all of this. I feel less sure of it for Marita.
But no one can say Marita didn’t have the best Trial Wife! Britney cooks her OXTAIL. It looks so fucking good!!!! That’s REAL love right there.
Ashley + Bridget
Not too much going on with these two, per usual. Bentley the dog prefers Bridget. They discuss how they need to better advocate for themselves when it comes to their Original Partners. The most interesting thing to me about this conversation personally is that Ashley lives in St. Pete! I’m sure I’ve probably seen her at the Dog Bar with Bentley.
Final Night of Trial Marriages
Dayna + Mel
On their last night together, Dayna and Mel read to each other from letters they wrote. Dayna wrote hers at 5 a.m. “I never knew how much I needed you,” she reads. Mel wrote a letter, too. “You have made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time,” she says. Who knows, maybe these two could go the distance!
Haley + Magan
These two are also NOT ready for The Changeover. They’re crying and cuddling in bed. Magan isn’t sure if she’s happy or sad right now. She has realized how important it is to make decisions for herself and that it’s possible to have the things you want.
Haley then says I LOVE YOU. And Magan says I LOVE YOU, TOO. They are IN LOVE. This, to me, is way juicier than sex.
The Changeover
Joanna “I’m an Ally” Garcia Swisher (yes, that’s her government name) is here to guide the stressed out lesbians through their feelings about The Changeover, during which they will exit their Trial Marriages with the people they chose and enter into new Trial Marriages with the Original Partners they came to the show with.
In a talking head, Pilar reveals her worst fear is that she’s ready for marriage and Haley is in love with someone else, to which I say: YIKES, GIRL. Because that’s indeed what has occurred.
Also heading into this conversation: Magan reiterates that every step she took with Haley was authentic but that she doesn’t necessarily want to close the book on Dayna. Dayna says Mel has promised her things beyond what Magan has promised. She says something about Haley getting her claws in Magan, and that’s such misdirected animosity. Haley has not manipulated Magan lol, Magan has made all her own choices. But I think choosing a narrative where it’s all Haley’s fault probably feels easier for her.
Sitting at the table, Britney shares that her Trial Marriage was amazing and that Marita was a huge cheerleader for her. I think these two are probably some of the only ones here who got real value out of this whole experience, and it’s because it had nothing to do with romance or sex but just personal growth.
Marita agrees. Britney gives her the “romantic antics” she doesn’t get from Ashley. Britney cooked her oxtail last night! AJ interrupts here: “I’m sorry?” She’s like THAT was a boundary! No oxtails were to be made! This is fair. This would be like me making my chai for another woman if I were on this show (in case it needs to be said: I WOULD NEVER BE ON THIS SHOW). Cutting through the brief humor of this moment, Ashley says she can see Britney giving Maria all the things she can’t. “I think they’d be a great couple honestly,” she says. AWK.
Ashley and Bridget have similarly had a very wholesome Trial Marriage focused on personal growth. Ashley compliments Bridget’s style and confidence. Bridget is proud of Ashley for building her self confidence and appreciates that she checks in before she leaves, which as we know Kyle does not. Bridget’s advice to Marita and Ashley is to both acknowledge their own faults. If Marita needs grand gestures, they need to better understand each other’s feelings more, Bridget suggests. Marita does not like receiving this relationship advice. She feels like Bridget is making assumptions. Ashley tells her to chill out, because they’re all in the same boat and probably all making assumptions about each other’s original relationships after the Trial Marriages. Here’s the thing about Ashley and Marita: They just truly don’t seem like a good fit for each other and not for any dramatic reasons. It’s just not a fit!
Pilar and Kyle are back to being in a very good place. Pilar acknowledges they had their hard moments but feels they came out stronger than ever. Kyle says Pilar helped her work through her emotions and be more understanding and mature through conflict. She tells Pilar she has so much time to work through things with Haley. DOES SHE? Because Haley seems to be very in love with someone else!
Okay, FINALLY, it’s time for some drama! Pilar does not care for the fact that Haley posted a quote on her Instagram story that said: “Sometimes you want to disappear but all you want to do is be found.” Now, personally, I think the main reason she should be mad about Haley posting this quote is because it doesn’t really make sense? And sounds silly? But no, Pilar is mad because she feels like Haley is passive aggressively suggesting something about their relationship and her new relationship with Magan. But Haley REALLY gets the kicker here: “You’re gonna talk to me about stories when you posted Kyle with heart eye emojis and then blocked me???????” DAMNNNNNN. Bridget is quietly like “I didn’t know about that.”
BLOCKED?
BLOCKED.
Pilar scoots past this little heart eyes / blocked accusation and asks if there’s really nothing more to Haley and Magan.
“We’re very authentic,” Magan says. “We’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
Things just got good. Is it just me or is this season WAY more bonkers than last season? And that’s really saying something…
But oh wait, it’s about to get even wilder.
Next: Ultimatum Queer Love Season Two Recap Episode 7
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Long rant to come:
It was funny how often people threw around the words “growth,” “working on myself/ourselves” – it could have easily been a game of bingo or a drinking game.
Loved how Marie said: “Didn’t just everyone talk about growth?” when some participants were screaming and yelling at each other during the dinner. And puzzlingly, the straight host then said she had seen so much growth?? After all the fighting and yelling? I’m so confused.
Also, why do people use the words “trauma” and “trigger” so much for random situations? Not just in this show. These words are way overused and not accurate for most moments. Same with “codependent.”
I also have to remind myself again and again that this is a reality television show and the straight host not a mediator. I wish these people had a mediator or a therapist, but the point of the show is not good communication but loud conflict.
There are so many instances in which a conflict could have gone differently if one person had asked a question instead of getting angry and declaring that they always do this. Like asking: “What does showing up look like for you?” Because Marita and Ashley have so different definition of what that is and I feel they are not speaking about the same thing.
Further, I wish people would not use the words “always” and “never” in conflicts but give specific examples of the behavior they dislike. And also saying “You’ll always be in my life” to a person you lived with for three weeks is kind of wild? Many people get married and then divorced, and their ex-spouse is not in their lives any more at all. It sounds so premature???
WHY IS MEL LYING INDEED. Didn’t they all watch season one to see how well that turned out with people LYING ON CAMERA?!
If I met Dayna in real life, I would try to go away as far as possible. Would never want her to attack and yell at me which she seems to do on the regular with people.
Dayna: “I’m not a good idea girl” – Me: “So true.”
“Magan wants kids – she’s Lebanese and comes from a culture that emphasizes the importance of it.“ Sure but there are also Lebanese people who don’t want kids. It is fine if these are Magan’s reasons for having kids, I guess I just want to say… Not everyone from a specific culture wants the same things?
In the car, Kyle speaks about the kiss in the words “it happened” as if there were not one/two people who actively did something. Not “Pilar kissed me” or “Pilar and I kissed” or anything like that. Like Bridget, I ask: “It HAPPENED? What does that mean?”
With all the meals in this show, I wonder: where are all the vegetarian and vegan lesbians???
“Joanna ‘Has Never Seen The L Word’ Garcia Swisher” – haha, I just want to point out that Alison Bechdel also never watched The L Word and is very gay, unlike the straight host!
In the beginning, Magan was all like “If my girlfriend had sex with someone else, I don’t know if there is a coming back from that…” – she was so jealous! And now she passes judgement while also having had sex with her – ahem- “trial wife”? But disclosing that so very late? What is happening?
I somehow get the impression that AJ wants to be a provider and wants Britney to be a housewife? Even though she is saying she would never take that work away for her, but all the other things AJ is saying… I don’t know…
“I don’t FULLY understand what Haley means here when she talks about how she and Magan decided that if Pilar and Dayna were feeling the way that she and Magan were feeling then they would have regrets coming out of the experience if they didn’t explore whatever it is they wanted to do coming into the experience…“ – As I understood it, it was a bad justification for “we wanted to have sex” wrapped in a “we thought you’d be sorry if you didn’t and so we did the same” … Kind of: we did it for your sake almost!
Okay, a wrap on this enormous rant. Thank you Kayla for the funny recap!!
I’m only following this show through your updates and know I’m confusing bits of it, but woo the drama between Dayna and Magan is WILD.
Hopefully I can remember the juicy bits for the next recap lol
I do not understand this show at all! Are they meant to hook up with their trial wives, or not? Are they supposed to get close and flirt, but not have sex? Does each couple set their own rules for it? Do they really fall in love with the new person in 3 weeks??? I don’t watch it, I’m poly and honestly don’t understand, but the recaps are a (confusing) blast!
It’s an option, technically. Buttttt… each couple can set their own rules for what they are comfortable with for their partner to do in their trial marriage, but the show sort of presents it to us as if everything is on the table for everyone and don’t tell us what the couples have decided. It is confusing in the show too, I wish that a contingency of it was that everything had to be on the table for MAX DRAMA.
i love this show as captured by your recaps. britney for the win, which doesnt include AJ imo!
I love these recaps! You give AJ an easy time though – she’s funny, charismatic and a good person at heart but alongside Marita she is the only one who never reflects on herself and just the other person in the relationship. And the other person is BRITNEY. Who is fantastic.
Coming in stating she is not ready because she wants to be able to be good enough for Britney and be a better provider but then telling Britney the thing she liked about her trial marriage was that she was always at home and made her breakfast/ran her errands aka or you could just make less and centre me is not it.
At one point Britney even makes this impassioned speech about how she is trying to see things through AJs lens and instead of reciprocating she just says “thanks” and we move to intense handholding whils Under Blankets on the Couch (TM)
Is anyone else wondering what sidechats are happening when the masc women hit the apartment gym?
Also the role online had to play here is super interesting- the Spotify playlist, the blocking! It feels like the programme has about 50% of the story as that half is happening in the real world(!)
I also enjoy a sort of gay community bingo with this show. The undercuts, the chains, the mullets, gay buns, terrible sex puns, the concept of having a smart t shirt. I recognise and have love for it all.
im still thinking about mal saying ‘do u want n*ggas to DIE FOR YOU YOLY’ in season one. one of the best reality tv show lines ever.
regarding this season, i feel so sad for pilar!! but genuinely its beautiful to see magan coming to life and finding safety and joy with haley. dayna seems like an exhausting person to be in a rlship with, and im so happy that magan is just completely done with it.
i find bridget to be sooo cute, i love her smile and her hair and their soft but decisive personality.