The 13 Gayest Things About the Supposedly Straight Horror Movie ‘Friday the 13th’

March 13, 2026

Starting this Friday the 13th, I’m doing something new with this post. I usually republish it to the homepage on every Friday the 13th with a slightly different intro, deleting the past intros. But I’ve decided to turn this piece — which started as a goofy early-internet-throwback listicle — into a diary for all Friday the 13ths henceforth, with the original list to follow.

With the help of the Wayback Machine, I was able to pull past intros from previous iterations of this article. Enjoy those after this entry!

On this particular Friday the 13th, I woke up with the help of my very own Jason Voorhees, my cat Timmy Tomato. I would indeed go full Mrs. Voorhees if anything bad ever happened to him. And he has a slasher villain’s thirst for the kill (directed primarily at the birds outside my office window and any doomed lizards that get into our house). He also has a slasher villain’s proclivity for somehow being everywhere at once and anticipating your every next move. I’ve stopped using alarms to wake up over the past year, because my cat has the supernatural ability to wake me up exactly five minutes before I need to be up, no matter what that time is. He does so by screaming in my face.

Recently, my wife and I couldn’t decide if Timmy Tomato would be the final girl in the slasher or the first killed. Either way, he would scream very dramatically. He spends about 50% of his day perfecting his “I’m terrified” face, usually in response to the TV remote being in the wrong place or a stray sock on the floor or anything that is doing something or existing somewhere that he is not accustomed to. He is in every sense of the cliche a scaredy cat. He lives in fear and craves the kill. Multitudes, he has them.

I told my cat it was Friday the 13th, and he responded the way he usually does when we speak to him, with a scream. My boy gets it!

Apparently my wife Kristen spent the night before Friday the 13th this year dreaming that our similarly horror-loving couple friends — the writers Tommy Pico and Greg Mania — got married in a Friday the 13th-themed wedding. Tommy wore a Jason mask. If you’re lucky enough to know Tommy and Greg at all, this doesn’t feel entirely out of the realm of possibility.

It is unclear if we’ll actually have time to rewatch the movie tonight. I have a writing call with a friend after work, because we’re collaborating on a project that may or may not be of the slasher genre. Hopefully on one of these Friday the 13ths in the future, I’ll be able to say more. I have to go to bed early after that, because I’m waking up early to run five miles as part of the 10K training program my sister made for me. My 10K race is in three weeks; we’re in the homestretch. The last Friday the 13th was only a month ago, but the one before that, in June 2025, was about five months before I started running for the first time in my life. I’m trying to accrue new hobbies that might benefit me in the apocalypse or that would make me a good final girl. Maybe for inspiration tomorrow, I’ll run like a sweater-wearing murderous mom is hot on my heels. I run without music, something I intend to write about at length soon, so it is usually my imagination that keeps me going on long runs.

So no, we probably won’t rewatch tonight, but maybe this weekend to make up for it.

In any case, I’ll see you again in November. Yes, we’re lucky enough to have THREE Friday the 13ths in 2026!

February 13, 2026

[I forgot to update/republish the article because I was out of office celebrating my seven year dating anniversary and two year wedding anniversary with my wife. We also somehow forgot to rewatch Friday the 13th, which is wild because we were in the perfect location for it! A remote cabin in North Carolina! To be fair, we had just rewatched it twice in the fall of 2025, as we’ve named the new house we’re living in “Camp Crystal Lake.”]

June 13, 2025

Finally, my time has come. A Friday the 13th……..IN PRIDE MONTH. It’s Friday the 13th but GAY. FriGAY the Squirteenth!!!!!!!!

Do I rewrite this intro and republish this list I first wrote three years ago every single Friday the 13th? Yes, yes I do. It is like a compulsion. I don’t care if three people read it every time. I do this for ME.

September 13, 2024

The last time we went through this little ritual was last year in OCTOBER, which was thrilling for me, a person who loves the feature film Friday the 13th and leaps at any chance to screen it and as a person who loves the month of October for obvious horror reasons. For that very special Friday the 13th in October, my wife and I hosted a wildly successful watch party for the film, complete with a menu of themed drinks. I also impulse-bought Friday the 13th branded athletic socks and press-on nails from Spirit Halloween. The press-on nails lasted about 15 minutes due to the intense nature with which I was shaking the Friday the Thirtinis.

This year, I’m not hosting a watch party, but I AM in the Florida Keys, which feels correct for some reason. Weird shit happens at Camp Crystal Lake, and weird shit happens in The Keys. I hope I do not, like the victims of the first Friday the 13th film, find myself in the crosshairs of a vengeful and impossibly strong mother — unless it’s for something fun like playing darts at the dive bar. Then sign me up, Mrs. Voorhees!

October 13, 2023

Happy Friday the 13th! IN OCTOBER.

Every time a Friday the 13th happens, my girlfriend and I have to watch Friday the 13th, easily one of my favorite horror movies of all time. How thrilling to get a Friday the 13th in the spookiest month of the year! My fiancee Kristen and I are not hosting a Halloween party this year, but we are having some pals over tonight to join in on our shared tradition of watching this movie every time the 13th of the month happens to be on a Friday. This year, I’ve outdone myself with a menu of themed drinks (Friday the Thirtinis and Juice-in Voorhees) as well as summer camp-inspired food (sloopy joes!). I also impulse-bought Friday the 13th branded athletic socks and press-on nails from Spirit Halloween. I’ve never been known to under-do it when it comes to a theme.

May 13, 2022

Happy Friday the 13th! Every time a Friday the 13th happens, my girlfriend and I have to watch Friday the 13th, easily one of my favorite horror movies of all time. Normally, we would watch the film on actual Friday the 13th, but because I “had” to write this piece that I “assigned” myself ahead of time, we switched our tradition up and in turn accidentally created a new tradition. We watched Friday the 13th on Mother’s Day and then were in such a giddy horror mood when it ended that we decided to put on Scream 2 simply because it’s the Scream movie that we hadn’t seen in the longest time. And then it dawned on us that we subconsciously picked two horror movies about killer moms to watch back-to-back ON MOTHER’S DAY. Like I said, a new tradition has been born.

ALRIGHT HERE IS THE ACTUAL LIST

From the same twisted mind that brought you The 30 Gayest Things About the Supposedly Straight Rom-Com 13 Going On 30 comes a new unwell list. I present: the 13 gayest things about the original Friday the 13th from 1980. Have additional things you’d like to add? That’s great. I probably won’t add them into the piece because I like having exactly 13 gay things, but do throw them in the comments!

This post was originally written in May 2022 and basically gets updated every time there is a Friday the 13th.

I guess there are like “spoilers” in here for the films Friday the 13th and Scream, two movies that have been out for decades, so it seems a little silly to be telling you that, but I don’t want anyone yelling at me on this fine Friday.

1. The moon

The very first shot of this movie is of the moon, and the moon is a lesbian.

2. Two people making out in matching polos

Wearing the same polo, long shorts, and wide belt as your crush? I know it’s these teen counselors’ “uniform” or whatever, but that’s Dyke Culture, baby.

3. Having a conversation with a dog

I am 100% convinced this flannel-wearing cook died before we could find out about her butch girlfriend who she co-parents a Mastiff with.

4. This outfit

Tell me that’s not an outfit a specific type of lesbian would have worn at a club in 2003. TELL ME.

5. Alice doing some lite construction with that haircut in that outfit

The fact that she outright rejects this man right after doing a roof repair? Gay.

6. Marcie telling her crush about a dream she had (also Kevin Bacon’s entire look here)

Gays love to talk about their dreams. I always do say that the best form of foreplay is telling someone about the violent recurring nightmare you have. I’m glad to see that represented here.

7. The bisexual chair sitting Alice is doing here

Self-explanatory. Also, all three people in this image are lesbians.

8. Brenda suggesting they play “Strip Monopoly”

This one’s obvious, but Brenda is just so jazzed at the opportunity to see both Bill and Alice naked!!!! Also, there’s something fittingly bisexual about this striped sweater. Also turning a game about capitalism into a game about being horny for your friends? Iconic. And gay.

9. Marcie being a secret plumber????

Okay, I don’t think fixing a faulty faucet makes her a full-on plumber, but the women in this movie are very capable!!!! The fact that the last thing Marcie does before dying is fix a sink??? This one goes out to the DIY/handy gays! Also, moments before this, she did a Katherine Hepburn impression to herself in the mirror, which doesn’t NOT seem gay.

10. Brenda saying “just when it was getting interesting” to Alice re:Strip Monopoly…

Alice had JUST been about to take her top off when Brenda remembered she left the windows open in her cabin and had to cut Strip Monopoly short. But before she goes, she delivers this line DIRECTLY at Alice in a very seductive voice while putting on a raincoat over her bra and underwear? Why doesn’t she put her other clothes back on before leaving???? Also, there’s a dream costume party I wanna throw one year for Halloween where people have to dress up as minor/side characters who die in horror films. No one’s allowed to be final girls, just dead girls. And I wanna be Brenda and just wear a bright green raincoat over my underwear, because it’s a great look!!!!!!!

11. Mrs. Voorhees’ entire vibe

Ok, yes, sure, she’s like famously sex negative. But the cableknit sweater? The drama? The PERFORMANCE she gives Alice? Mrs. Voorhees is the most Mommi slasher killer there has ever been.

12. Getting slapped around by an older woman

I mean, sorry Alice and reader, but I had to say it. Some people dream of this. Also, re:the above screenshot, why is this little head nod that Mrs. Voorhees does when Alice is throwing random objects at her so funny AND hot? Mrs. Voorhees has swagger??? Also also, I want to take this time to recognize Mrs. Voorhees’ absolutely next-level upper arm strength????? When she punctured an arrow through a mattress AND an entire throat during the Kevin Bacon kill???? WHAT

13. Emotionally processing in the middle of a lake

Sure, Alice is more so passing out from exhaustion in the middle of the lake after just having decapitated an old woman who was trying to kill her to avenge her dead son, BUT! The facts that she can repair roofs and appreciate a good little paddle out in a canoe at the end of the day absolutely confirm my belief that Alice is an outdoorsy, handy gay who knows her way around a tool belt and a hiking trail. Ask her for summit recs, because she’s got em.

I do love that the way I selected these screenshots basically makes the movie look like a cute indie film about a bunch of camp counselors doing shenanigans and not a blood-filled slasher movie. Love to recontextualize.

A bonus 14th gay moment in Friday the 13th is the final jumpscare. I can’t explain it, but jumpscares are queer. And I refuse to screenshot this one, because I believe it to be the most effective jumpscare of all time, and even though I’ve seen it a million times and KNOW it’s coming, my heart skips a beat every time, and even just seeing the image here would affect my already caffeine-impacted pulse. If I had been alive in 1980 to see this movie, I would have…died in the theater during the jumpscare? Like, I’m absolutely sure I would have left my body.