Hello and welcome to this thing we’re doing where we help you figure out what you’re gonna put in your mouth this week. Some of these are recipes we’ve tried, some of these are recipes we’re looking forward to trying, all of them are fucking delicious. Tell us what you want to put in your piehole or suggest your own recipes, and we’ll talk about which things we made, which things we loved, and which things have changed us irreversibly as people. Last week we worshiped onions, nectar of the gods.
There’s nothin’ like a good spread. As someone who loves bread probably more than life itself, I’m pretty endeared to the concept of buying something in a jar, slapping it into a slice of something with a knife, and having a full-bore meal waiting for me within five seconds. Plus, you can do so much more with a jam or a butter or a spreadable cheese than just make a basic-ass sandwich. Slather ’em onto crackers as an appetizer with that soup! Spread ’em on top of baked goods! Or just eat ’em out of the jar. It’s really none of my business, anyway.
The added bonus? When you make them yourself, spreads might not cost you upwards of five bucks a pop like they do at the grocery store. And that makes all of these even more delicious, in my opinion.
Carrot Cake Jam
Homemade Apple Butter
Apple Pie Cream Cheese
Vanilla Honey Peach Butter
Texas Roadhouse Butter
Lemon Blueberry Jam
Amish Peanut Butter (Church Spread)
Cardamom Fig Jam
Strawberry Habanero Everything Spread
Vegan Cashew and Sun-Dried Tomato Dip
Smoked Salmon Spread
Pimiento Cheese Spread
Three Ingredient Olive Spread
Italian Garlic Butter
Bacon Olive Cheese Spread
Rosemary, Lemon, and Feta Spread
Sundried Tomato and Basil Cream Cheese
Roasted Beetroot Hummus
Spicy Red Pepper Jam
Oktoberfest German Beer Cheese Spread
Roasted Garlic and Dill Ricotta Spread
Time to let my inner soccer mom come out and make these kickass spreads for holiday gifts (and personal munching)
People actually EAT that Amish Peanut Butter?!
can I even express how much I love this column??!?!!? It perfectly combines my love of hanging out on Autostraddle with my hobby of looking at pictures of food and thinking about recipes I might like to make. I love!
YES THANK YOU I WANT ALL OF THESE.
Mmm. Need toast.
That cashew tomato spread looks very good. Must make it.
YOU ARE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE. *pins almost everything*
Carmen I think you’ve changed my life?
Oktoberfest German Beer Cheese Spread.
I’m going to the shops right now! It was real nice knowing you all.