Welcome back to “So You Want To…” the monthly fashion column dedicated to vibes, whims and general fun. I think? I hope! Every month I cast about in the recesses of my mind to bring you inspiration and frankly, I have outdone myself this time!
This month, we’re taking a trip to South Beach and getting into the iconic summer styles of The Birdcage! Is it a perfect film? Well, no, nothing is, and someone should have yelled at Val for the actual hell he puts his Dads through (and on such short notice, like my dude, maybe introduce your girlfriend to your Dads before you drag her bonkers conservative family to South Beach???) but it is pretty close! Robin Williams exasperated, limp wrist performance is possibly the first time I saw myself represented on screen, and simply every single choice made by Nathan Lane is perfect. And I get to see my absolute girls Christine Baranski and Dianne Wiest? Some things are classics for a reason!
And the fashions! The neon, the billowy linens, the rings and gaudy necklaces! It is very much in step with the trends of the moment — bright and bold and maximalist and just plain old fun! Let’s dive in, shall we?
For me, Armand is number one with a bullet when it comes to summer fashion inspiration. Every year around this time, I wake up and think “well I simply need the thickest gold chain imaginable and a pair of loafers!” I’m talking wildly printed button downs over tank tops, loose linen and more gold than a Mafia housewife would know what to do with. Let’s face it, Armand is Daddy, and who doesn’t want to bring a little of that energy with them??
What is so inspirational about Albert is his effortless combination of South Beach summer style with just a touch of WASPy drama for fun. The cardigan dramatically draped over the shoulders paired with the gold lame hat and the bright yellow sandal? It’s giving “Yes I missed the last PTA meeting but we all know I’m still in charge” and frankly? He’s right and he should say it! Instead of Armand’s more sedate linens, we’re going for a softer, more femme pant, topped off with bright and bold rings and of course, a beachy cardigan!
Hi, sorry, Mommi? Everything about Katherine is prime Mommi content, from the miniskirt to the pearls to the fact that she is “between husbands”?? I don’t know a better woman! Why not treat yourself to a silk scarf for jaunts to pretend to be married to the man with whom you had a child? While you are at it, why not throw on these incredible gold heels and this banging leather and pearl necklace? Unfortunately I cannot give any of us of the legs of a 44 year old Christine Barasnki, but honestly, it is enough to just see ’em.
Agador, THEE GAWD. Slutty, helpful, unable to wear shoes. A perfect person, and truly perfect summer inspo for those of us who simply want to toss on a crop top and pair of cut off shorts and dance. Thankfully, his penchant for a baggy, wide leg cargo pant is deeply on trend right now, so grab yourself a pair of those too! And might I suggest adding a dangly earring for an extra bit of sparkle? You are thisclose to booking your big night on stage, I promise!