Emily ups her Veronica Mars game and Hanna goes to jail.

Emily meets her girlfriend’s husband, and Hanna dances like she’s possessed by the Holy Ghost.

Emily and Talia, sitting in tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

This show is just Sue’s Sylvester’s Faustian fever dream now.

In this new reality-TV-saturated world of ours, has the genre’s pioneer swapped stories about sexuality for stories about sex? “The Real World Washington DC” attempts to knock some sense into these drunk crazy sex-hungry animals by giving them Human Rights Campaign jobs, religion, patriotically inspired decor and you know, um, a hot tub and two bisexuals.

When a boy steals your girl, sometimes you have no choice but to arrest him for fake murder.

Because there was no way to fit another Halloween into the senior year the Liars have been living for the last five years, we earned an actor retrospective!

In which there is an expedition to a mall, an argument under the cover of night, and cucumber water.

With one episode to go before the mid-season break, we catch up with the Liars as they almost make out with each other for three straight episodes.

Sarah explains to Helena that Felix is her brother, and she’s her sister, so Felix is one of the seestras, okay? Fair enough.

While Sarah seems extremely comfortable roughing it up and peeing in the woods, Felix equates camping with being homeless in the country. Obviously he’s never been to A-Camp.

This week on Glee, everybody graduated and old loves blossomed anew!

“Stef and I say, “Nothing intimate about that!” and then Stef and I laugh, but the Serious Music of Relationship Doom starts and Stef and I know we’ve made a terrible mistake.”

The one with wedding dresses because why not.

The one where the writer’s were like, “Meh, let’s just accuse random people of being A from now on. Who cares if it makes any sense?”

The winter premiere of Pretty Little Liars is finally here and we’re going to get to say the word “box” a lot.

Carlytron wants to be happy that Glee is back on but is conflicted because this episode isn’t very good. Luckily, this show has a cute gay named Kurt and the Lynch (who can do no wrong) to pull it out of the gutter and keep our spirits alive amongst bad plot devices and worse writing.

Paige throws Emily a surprise birthday party but Emily shows up completely pissed off. This is not going to end well.

A world without t.A.T.u. is a somber world indeed. So let’s relive it with Stef’s Top Ten Most amazing Moments EVER in t.A.T.u’s Musical History.

Okay. A murderous, cyber-stalking, all-knowing bully I can grasp, but any teen girl talking to her dad like this? No way.