Interview With My Ex: Holden

Welcome to Interviews With My Ex-Girlfriend, in which Autostraddle writers get back in touch with their ex-girlfriends to ask them Five Simple Questions:
How long did we date?
Why did we break up?
What did you learn from our relationship?
What do you miss most about me?
Would you invite me to your wedding (why/why not)?

Holden and I met through a queer mentoring collective that had been started by a Ph.D student for his dissertation work. The mentoring collective fell apart, but the two of us have remained close since. We both have a love for 1970s musical theatre, outlandish gospel music, and Hall & Oates. I got them to stay over in my on-campus apartment for the first time by just happening to have a spare toothbrush. I tried to know them better than I knew myself, which ultimately led to our breakup, but getting to know them was the wildest and best ride I've taken thus far.

Alaina: Okay, so what do you want us to call this? Interview with my ex… with just...

You've Reached A+ Content!

Why is this paywall here? We never put anything vital or truly lifesaving behind a paywall, but we publish like this as a treat for the A+ Members who support Autostraddle and keep us here for everyone else who needs us. Reader support is an important part of our business model and keeps this site and our primary content free.

A+ starts at just $4 a month. If you can, will you join? Every membership makes a difference for this indie queer media site.

Join A+ Today!

Already a member? Sign in

Before you go! It takes funding to keep this publication by and for queer women and trans people of all genders running every day. And A+ members keep the majority of our site free for everyone. Still, 99.9% of our readers are not members. A+ membership starts at just $4/month. If you're able to, will you join A+ and keep Autostraddle here and working for everyone?

Join A+


Ari is a 20-something artist and educator. They are a mom to two cats, they love domesticity, ritual, and porch time. They have studied, loved, and learned in CT, Greensboro, NC, and ATX.

Ari has written 327 articles for us.