DARKER, GAYER, DIFFERENT: Olympics Opening Ceremony Live Blog and Coverage

HELLO WORLD! Welcome to Autostraddle’s coverage of the PyeongChang 2018 Olympic Winter Games Opening Ceremonies! Get ready for drama, get ready for performative unity, get ready for fashion. Your hosts tonight are me, Alaina L. Monts, and my good friend Mey Rude. From what little news I take in (anxiety, amirite???) I know that this year the games are said to be darker, gayer, and different. I for one am thrilled by this prospect. I also know that the gayest sport, figure skating is getting even gayer with the addition of songs with lyrics! I also know that Mike Pence feels called out and sad because gay athletes want nothing to do with him! Y’all! 2018 is such a blessing!!!! I can’t wait to see what we get tonight, and I can’t wait to talk about it with you! (If you, unlike me actually care about who to root for, Molly wrote a sweet guide to help you out).

Mey: Hi! I love the Olympics! My family loves the Olympics! My grandpa was a boxing announcer at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, my uncle is in charge of the big replay boards for this year’s Olympics as well as a bunch of past ones. My family comes together and watches the Olympics and roots for the US and Mexico. I have a lot of great memories around the Olympics. I remember when the Olympic committee decided to alternate Olympic years so we got one every two years instead of every four and it was one of the best days of my life. I love the pageantry, I love the Americana, I love the bliss and pure unironic joy, but mostly I love the pageantry. And that pageantry is at it’s highest is tonight at the Opening Ceremonies. I’d like to dedicate this liveblog to all my fellow Olympic fans, as well as my girlfriends who hate the Olympics right now but will learn to love them very soon.


Alaina:
ok I’m LIVE

Sweet Mey Rude:
OLYMPICS

Alaina:
also i can’t believe wheel of fortune is really just on tv until 7 pm

Sweet Mey Rude:
my tv is showing this like, pre-olympics preview
also it’s 4:55

Alaina:
debatable
tell me about this pre coverage!

Sweet Mey Rude:
It’s 28 degrees in Pyeongchang
also Mike Tirico was talking which reminded me that he says he’s not Black

Alaina:
i love learning
already obsessed with the trumpets

Sweet Mey Rude:
already obsessed with the olympic ring sunglasses

Alaina Monts:
OH NO THESE COMMERCIALS MAKE ME CRY!!!

Sweet Mey Rude:
Idaho and Connecticut shout outs!

Alaina Monts:
YESSSS

Sweet Mey Rude:
Nigerian bobsled team seems amazing

Alaina Monts:
nigerian bobsled team made of LADIES is what i wish cool runnings had been about

Sweet Mey Rude:
also: confirmed [Sterling K Brown is voicing the opening film]
That puppy!!

Alaina Monts:
WELCOME TO WHAT DREAMS LOOK LIKE
OKAYYYYY

Sweet Mey Rude:
do you remember when Olympic gold medalist Shaun White was in Rocket Power?

Alaina Monts: 
i’m sorry WHAT
NO
also mey, this dude has said pageantry 5 times
at least

Sweet Mey Rude:
I probably say pageantry at least fifteen times a day
Boooo Mike Pence

Alaina Monts:
this is a lot of politics
damn
like, what happened to “leave north korea alone for a few weeks”

Sweet Mey Rude:
If they’re gonna talk about politics why don’t they talk about Mike Pence wanting to kill gays
sorry if that’s too dark for the Olympics

Alaina Monts:

Sweet Mey Rude:
AAAHHHHHH A COMMERCIAL WITH A LITTLE BOY WANTING TO BUY A DOLL AND HIS DAD SAYS HE CANT
I”M BAWLING
it’s for samsung
i’m gonna go buy a phone
“we’re born to do what we’re told we can’t”

Alaina Monts:
WOW
I LOVE THAT

Alaina Monts:
shaun white looks different from his rocket power days

Sweet Mey Rude:
back then his nicknames were “The Flying Tomato” and “The Egg” which, surprisingly doesn’t mean he’s trans

Alexei Monts loving the Olympics

Alaina Monts:
katie couric admitting her kids hate her is a BIG MOOD

Sweet Mey Rude:
JAJAJAJA
I love the mom stuff though
I love my mom. Hi Stacy
“I just want to netflix and chill”
does that not mean fucking anymore???

Alaina Monts:
I THINK SO
HAHAHAHAH I JUST WANNA FUCK
i mean, there is a lot of sex in the olympic village

Sweet Mey Rude:
true
i wish she was just like “ugh my mom is cock blocking me”

Alaina Monts:
WHERE ARE THEY? that place where they hold the athletes looks like something from black mirror

Sweet Mey Rude:
jajajaja
I absolutely love those gloves

Alaina Monts:
THE FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN EVER TO BE ON THE SHORT TRACK TEAM!
I LOVE HER

Sweet Mey Rude:
and I love Maame Biney

Alaina Monts:
those gloves are great too

Sweet Mey Rude:
She’s so fun!

Alaina Monts:
that laugh!

Sweet Mey Rude:
she can’t stop smiling!!!
I love how much she says “like” she’s such a teenager!!!
that was my favorite interview ever

Alaina Monts:
yes!
also i’m obsessed with how dramatic this is because it happened at 3 am last night
like, they’re making it seem like they gotta wait!
but they don’t have to wait!

Sweet Mey Rude:
i know!!!
that’s part of the pageantry
I love these lights
is this just projections or was there like, smoke?

Alaina Monts:
holy smokes
i have a feeling they go all out for this
so maybe smoke??
OOOH welcome in fireworks!

Sweet Mey Rude:
did the fireworks spell “Welcome”
yessss
I love these children

Alaina Monts:
also YES i love children guides

this is making me so happy
“the nature vs man dynamic”

Alaina Monts [7:31 PM]
THIS IS MAGICAL
it’s like harry potter
and also fantasia???

Sweet Mey Rude [7:31 PM]
Yeah!
I was thinking of the moana scenes where she first finds the boats

Alaina Monts [7:32 PM]
THIS MUSIC IS GIVING ME MOANA VIBES

Sweet Mey Rude [7:32 PM]
THIS PUPPET

Alaina Monts [7:32 PM]
OMGGGG
I LOVE PUPPETS

Sweet Mey Rude [7:33 PM]
Blue eyes white tiger

Alaina Monts [7:33 PM]
OMG SHADOWS

holy
shit
IT’S A MOUNTAIN

Sweet Mey Rude [7:33 PM]
i don’t understand the science behind this but i love it
I LOVE THE RUNNING IN PLACE

Alaina Monts [7:34 PM]
i think it’s just lighting design…like projections are a new theatre discipline

woah, these animals are great, i like this two headed turtle

Alaina Monts [7:35 PM]
this is so great. are there penguins????
oooh they’re dancers
TWO AND A HALF YEARS
in the making

Sweet Mey Rude [7:36 PM]
can you imagine practicing for this for two and a half years??

Alaina Monts [7:36 PM]
if this is all sports were, i’d watch more

Sweet Mey Rude [7:36 PM]
that means the summer olympics are already working on theirs

Alaina Monts [7:36 PM]
where are those?

Sweet Mey Rude [7:36 PM]
tokyo!

Alaina Monts [7:37 PM]
i’m obsessed with these babies
omg

Sweet Mey Rude [7:37 PM]
what are these floaters

Alaina Monts [7:37 PM]
those LIGHTS

Sweet Mey Rude [7:37 PM]
how

Alaina Monts [7:37 PM]
THE STARS

Sweet Mey Rude [7:37 PM]
WHAT

Alaina Monts [7:37 PM]
AUGMENTED REALITY

Sweet Mey Rude [7:38 PM]
AUGMENTED REALITY

Alaina Monts [7:38 PM]
WHAAAAATTTT

Sweet Mey Rude [7:38 PM]
OH MY GAWD

Alaina Monts [7:39 PM]
WHAT IS THIS
it’s like star wars and gaga
THESE FUCKING LIGHTS

Sweet Mey Rude [7:40 PM]
I love this
they look like a flock of birds

Alaina Monts [7:40 PM]
they’re all moving so seamlessly
like EVERY MOVE is identical
omg when they look up and all are smiling
THE CHOREOGRAPHY

Sweet Mey Rude [7:42 PM]
it’s hard to take my eyes away to liveblog

Alaina Monts [7:42 PM]
i know!
i’m obsessed with this circle motif

Sweet Mey Rude [7:42 PM]
also the beautiful maroon against all the white!
it’s so great!

Alaina Monts [7:42 PM]
WOAHHHHH
they made the korean flag!

Alaina Monts [7:45 PM]
finally the parade
national anthem first
cute

Sweet Mey Rude [7:46 PM]
i really love all the emphasis they’re giving to kids. imagine having these memories!!

Alaina Monts [7:47 PM]
i always love that part of the olympics!

Sweet Mey Rude [7:47 PM]
wait is the torch lighting before or after the parade

Alaina Monts [7:47 PM]
no clue
every year i watch feels brand new bc i don’t remember
AND NOW the parade!
omg
greece marches in first
bc of like…ancient greece???

Sweet Mey Rude [7:48 PM]
yeah

Alaina Monts [7:48 PM]
WOW

Sweet Mey Rude [7:49 PM]
wait, did they say the korean name for the US translates to “beautiful nation”?

Alaina Monts [7:49 PM]
also, i’m mad that they’re first but not in a cute outfit
wait i love this ice queen
i didn’t hear about the name?? i hope so though

Sweet Mey Rude [7:49 PM]
“THE ONLY THING COLD IN GHANA IS A COLD BEER”

Alaina Monts [7:49 PM]
YESS NIGERIA THESE COATS
AND THESE HEAD WRAPS

Sweet Mey Rude [7:50 PM]
the head wraps with the detailing is such a perfect winter touch

Alaina Monts [7:50 PM]
also i’m obsessed that the nigerians are american born and were like “bye”

Sweet Mey Rude [7:50 PM]
jajaja
my dad loves the norwegian team
bc he’s norwegian

Alaina Monts [7:51 PM]
huh!
the red and blue is almost too much contrast???
like they look like floating bodies

Sweet Mey Rude [7:52 PM]
ALL BLACKS
YES

Alaina Monts [7:52 PM]
YESSS
and that FUR

Sweet Mey Rude [7:52 PM]
this new zealand team looks so good

Alaina Monts [7:52 PM]
CAPE

Sweet Mey Rude [7:53 PM]
i want them to show the new zealanders again

Alaina Monts [7:57 PM]
did katie couric just say think of skeletons

Sweet Mey Rude [7:57 PM]
jajajajja
yes

Alaina Monts [8:00 PM]
LOOK AT THIS 16 YEAR OLD GIRL

Sweet Mey Rude [8:01 PM]
16 year old first woman from madagascar!!!
MEXICO
THAT SOMBRERO

Alaina Monts [8:02 PM]
YESSS AND FLOWER CROWN!!!
WHAT IS THIS WIERD COUNTRY COMMERCIAL!
Adam Levine WHAT IS GOING ON
AND ALICIA KEYS
KELLY CLARKSON WITH A MILE LONG TRAIN
AND THIS CHOIR
AND THE CHOREO
i’m slain

Sweet Mey Rude [8:03 PM]
I’m saying it: Carson Daly is a coward for not singing his line

Alaina Monts:
wow people in team usa being born in 2000

Sweet Mey Rude [8:06 PM]
i like the skier in the Captain Marvel costume
yeah! like, settle down children (edited)

Alaina Monts [8:06 PM]
also i love these sweaters
there are so many of them
we’re imperialists even at the olympics
just taking over

Sweet Mey Rude [8:09 PM]
Here’s some brand synergy for you. I’m sitting here w my Ralph Lauren blanket to match the team USA outfits

Alaina Monts [8:09 PM]
yesss
ok, the korean name for us DOES translate to beautiful country
that’s a lie

Alaina Monts [8:12 PM]
the us is so extra
OMG
THIS WOMAN NOT CLAPPING

Sweet Mey Rude [8:12 PM]
get mike pence off the damn screen

Alaina Monts [8:12 PM]
NEXT TO MIKE PENCE
WHO IS SHE I LOVE HER

Sweet Mey Rude [8:12 PM]
his wife?

Alaina Monts [8:12 PM]
she looks completely fucking DONE
no, the korean woman; i’m pretty sure it’s kim jong il’s sister????

Sweet Mey Rude [8:12 PM]
yeah!

Alaina Monts [8:12 PM]
oooh, the fringe on the gloves!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:13 PM]
the fringe and the sweaters are what make it
are we missing the countries behind us?

Alaina Monts [8:14 PM]
the US team is STILL coming on.
i think we are
good lord
they all have selfie sticks

Sweet Mey Rude [8:14 PM]
i want to see bermuda
i just bought a selfie stick

Alaina Monts [8:14 PM]
ughhhh i wanna see bermuda too
i don’t want to watch people take selfies!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:15 PM]
“selfie central”

Alaina Monts [8:16 PM]
do they just not show anyone after the us???
jesus
that was like 4 minutes!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:16 PM]
they better go back to them
this is pre-taped so we better not miss anyone
honestly any commercial that shows supportive parents of future olympians makes me tear up

Alaina Monts [8:19 PM]
ok they are
good
OMG

Sweet Mey Rude [8:19 PM]
ok good!
yes the shorts!!!

Alaina Monts [8:19 PM]
bermuda shorts!!!
and the KNEE HIGHS!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:19 PM]
THIS IS WHAT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR

Alaina Monts:
can you imagine being one of the people dancing? they’ve been doing the same moves for 20 minutes

Sweet Mey Rude [8:21 PM]
i love these ppl dancing
jajaja
bulgaria with a bold choice

Alaina Monts [8:21 PM]
lime green ok

Sweet Mey Rude [8:23 PM]
also i like sweden’s outfits
LOOK AT THIS AUNTIE IN THE GOOGLE COMMERCIAL

Alaina Monts [8:24 PM]
I LOVE HER

Alaina Monts [8:30 PM]
wait, we just reached A countries in korean…i’m very interested in this alphabet

Sweet Mey Rude [8:30 PM]
ohhhhhh the stands are empty bc the olympians fill them up
is that what’s happening?
maybe i made that up
a third lime green country?????
what is happening???

Alaina Monts [8:31 PM]
wow popular color this year
wait, are the stands empty
i thought they just had lights over people’s heads???
but maybe

Sweet Mey Rude [8:32 PM]
“ANDORRA GETS AN A FOR PARTICIPATION”
katie couric is being savage
jajajaja i just noticed the dancers again

Alaina Monts [8:40 PM]
oh! I remember hearing about this russia scandal on NPR on tuesday
they don’t get to march under russia’s flag!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:40 PM]
nope

Alaina Monts [8:40 PM]
russia is struggling right now

Sweet Mey Rude [8:40 PM]
what does the olympic anthem sound like?
oh wait is it that trumpet thing they always play

Alaina Monts [8:41 PM]
idk!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:41 PM]
awwww this person from Iran is crying!!!
I love her!

Alaina Monts [8:41 PM]
i love iran’s coats!
THE ITALIAN’S ARE FAR FROM ONE OF THE BEST DRESSED TEAMS
katie couric PLEASE

Sweet Mey Rude [8:42 PM]
i mean, yeah
armani is great, but come one

Alaina Monts [8:42 PM]
these are just puffy coats!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:42 PM]
you can’t coast by on name alone

Alaina Monts [8:42 PM]
and like beanies!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:42 PM]
i feel like she said that before she saw the clothes
“oh, armani! they must be best dressed!”

Alaina Monts [8:43 PM]
YES INDIA
THESE HATS!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:43 PM]
i just spat my water bc i was gonna say don’t pubsih that

Alaina Monts [8:43 PM]
and they’re all hot!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:43 PM]
but yeah, I love the indian teams hats!
that’s a powerful red on these japanese jackets

Alaina Monts [8:44 PM]
OK JAMAICA!!!!!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:44 PM]
JAMAICA IS THE ONLY COUNTRY WHO SHOULD WEAR THE LIME
COMING OUT LIKE THAT YES

Alaina Monts [8:44 PM]
I LOVE BLACK PEOPLE

Sweet Mey Rude [8:44 PM]
MISTER COOL BOLT
china has the best white jackets
more fur looking good

Alaina Monts [8:47 PM]
KAZHAKSTAN looking like royalty!!!!
oh also the athletes DO fill the seats!
GO KENYA!!!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:51 PM]
fifth lime green
COLOMBIA COMING THROUGH

Alaina Monts [8:52 PM]
oooh these ponchos and hats!

Sweet Mey Rude [8:52 PM]
Colombia looks so freaking good

Alaina Monts [8:52 PM]
like a wool poncho???
i’m shook

Sweet Mey Rude [8:53 PM]
who’s best dressed so far, india, new zealand and colombia?

Alaina Monts [8:53 PM]
ghana

Sweet Mey Rude [8:53 PM]
ghana yes

Alaina Monts [8:53 PM]
and then i think colombia next

Sweet Mey Rude [8:54 PM]
then new zealand third. i’m stanning for their all black outfits
togo w the lime green but looking AMAZING
TONGA
TONGA WINS

Alaina Monts [8:55 PM]
HOLY SHIT
I AM SO BISEXUAL

Sweet Mey Rude [8:55 PM]
TONGA

Alaina Monts [8:55 PM]
HE IS SO OILED

Sweet Mey Rude [8:55 PM]
PLEASE

Alaina Monts [8:55 PM]
HIS HIPS
OMG

Sweet Mey Rude [8:55 PM]
MY BREATH IS CAUGHT
YES BACK TO TONGA

Sweet Mey Rude [8:56 PM]
i’m glad its a commercial bc i’m still recovering

Alaina Monts [8:59 PM]
the new iphone stage lighting is perfect

Sweet Mey Rude [8:59 PM]
honestly i’m still thinking abt tonga

Alaina Monts [8:59 PM]
also hell yeah PR competing on their own!
fuck us imperialism!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:00 PM]
amen

Alaina Monts [9:02 PM]
MORE lime green!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:02 PM]
that’s seven!

Alaina Monts [9:02 PM]
maybe pantone needs to change the color of the year

Sweet Mey Rude [9:04 PM]
I think what I love most about the olympics is this spirit of coming together and hope and love between nations
this is truly the best of international politics
i have no shame in being a nerd for countries getting along

Sweet Mey Rude [9:06 PM]
DABBING
my two favorite things are unity and dabbing

More Olympic loving cats

Alaina Monts:
i’m not gonna lie i can’t believe this isn’t over yet

Sweet Mey Rude [9:08 PM]
jajajajaja

Alaina Monts [9:08 PM]
oh, i remember hearing about this song! it’s like a korean folk song that they all know
BECAUSE UNITY

Sweet Mey Rude [9:09 PM]
UNCLE SINGING THE SONG
HES ICONIC

Alaina Monts [9:09 PM]
omg this is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen

Sweet Mey Rude [9:09 PM]
alaina. i am gay for this
omg i thought he was saying the singer is 600 yrs old

Alaina Monts [9:10 PM]
SAME

Sweet Mey Rude [9:10 PM]
wow this is beautiful though

Alaina Monts [9:11 PM]
this song is about “what might blossom”
FUCK ME UP
and all this augmented reality!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:11 PM]
i was just gonna ask
i’m crying
i love this

Alaina Monts [9:14 PM]
technology is SO COOL. all this VR/AR i’m Obsessed
DID THAT BOY JUST BECOME A GROWN MAN DOCTOR
IS THAT A CYBORG

Sweet Mey Rude [9:14 PM]
WOAH ROBOT

Alaina Monts [9:15 PM]
i hope this is what the future looks like

HOLY SHIT
was that IN the stadium?
or a movie????

Sweet Mey Rude [9:16 PM]
i don’t know!

Alaina Monts [9:16 PM]
it’s all so seamless, i’m confused!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:16 PM]
anything is possible!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:16 PM]
anything is possible!

Alaina Monts [9:16 PM]
yin yang is all katie couric knows about duality
she’s said this many many times

Sweet Mey Rude [9:16 PM]
jajajaja

Alaina Monts [9:16 PM]
wait, i love the cinderella law

Sweet Mey Rude [9:17 PM]
i didn’t know tech rehab centers existed

Alaina Monts [9:17 PM]
it makes sense! i’d go to one

Sweet Mey Rude [9:18 PM]
how is this working

Alaina Monts [9:18 PM]
whaaaaaaaaaat is happeniag
ARE THEY GETTING ABDUCTED

Sweet Mey Rude [9:18 PM]
can you imagine

Alaina Monts [9:19 PM]
i would love that
no lantern lighting, just an alien abduction

Sweet Mey Rude [9:19 PM]
the torch is a ufo

Alaina Monts [9:24 PM]
oh damn
this doping speech
“don’t do drugs kids”
this is like the speech your RA gives you on the first day of freshman year???

Sweet Mey Rude [9:25 PM]
omg

Alaina Monts [9:25 PM]
do’t do drugs, be nice to your roommates, respect each other
OR ELSE

Sweet Mey Rude [9:25 PM]
but it’s in a language half the people dont speak

Alaina Monts [9:25 PM]
i think they get translated??
like with the UN ear translator thingies?

Sweet Mey Rude [9:28 PM]
cool!
whyyyy do they have to sing a song by john lennon

Alaina Monts [9:29 PM]
and THIS song
white people love it though
is this bono
oh
no

Sweet Mey Rude [9:29 PM]
JAJAJAJA
ALAINA

Alaina Monts [9:30 PM]
i didn’t hear them say who was singing

Sweet Mey Rude [9:30 PM]
but he’s clearly korean

Alaina Monts [9:30 PM]
he sounded like bono before i saw him!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:30 PM]
i love you

Alaina Monts [9:30 PM]
wow i love these birds

oh who’s this lesbian
lee eun-mi?

Sweet Mey Rude [9:31 PM]
i was abt to say

Alaina Monts [9:31 PM]
i love her coat

Sweet Mey Rude [9:32 PM]
as much as i hate this song, i love everyone waving their candles together

AND THE GLITTER EYESHADOW

Alaina Monts [9:33 PM]
AND THE DOVE BEING RELEASED

Sweet Mey Rude [9:33 PM]
that dove they released was
i don’t have words
drones???
i
i thought this was more augmented reality but these are drones, right?

Alaina Monts [9:33 PM]
why is everyone so obsessed with drones now!
OMG
AHHHHH

Sweet Mey Rude [9:33 PM]
DO YOUU SEE THIS
WHAT

Alaina Monts [9:33 PM]
MEY IT’s A PERSON
yrdfktuglihoj;pgfygihjk

Sweet Mey Rude [9:33 PM]
THIS IS FAKE
IM CRYING AGAIN

Alaina Monts [9:34 PM]
THIS IS SO COOL
omg they are SKIING with TORCHES

Sweet Mey Rude [9:35 PM]
how do these drones work
it’s 3d
i’m almost dissassociating

Alaina Monts [9:35 PM]
they’re each like seperate little flying lights i thought!
like the human made out of drones is too much

Sweet Mey Rude [9:35 PM]
they are! it just looks so weird!
she is gorgeous
her outfit is gorgeous

Alaina Monts [9:40 PM]
i’m so glad she’s the queen of the olympics
YES SOPRANO
she better drop her fucking jaw
is this the korean national anthem?

Sweet Mey Rude [9:41 PM]
i don’t know what that means but i support you
i think so

Alaina Monts [9:41 PM]
wait this is 10THOUSAND times better than the star spangled banner

Sweet Mey Rude [9:42 PM]
the american team is like wait, anthems can be like this?

Alaina Monts [9:42 PM]
hahahah
i LOVE sopranos
we bring the drama
YESSSSSS THAT HIGH NOTE ENDING
has anyone ever fallen carrying the torch?
that would be hilarious

Sweet Mey Rude [9:44 PM]
omg
i honestly would cry if someone dropped the torch
i would feel so bad for them
how are they gonna get up the hill

Alaina Monts [9:45 PM]
i hope they run
they’re gonna run

Sweet Mey Rude [9:46 PM]
oh gosh
i’m so nervous for them
it’s so steep!!!

Alaina Monts [9:46 PM]
hahahah this is so silly looking
it’s stairs!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:46 PM]
oh god it’s stairs
ok

Alaina Monts [9:47 PM]
i feel like they had to practice this a LOT
i’d be so fucking tired hahah
aw this is really BEAUTIFULLL

Sweet Mey Rude [9:47 PM]
i mean, they are olympic atheletes
I LOVE HER
LOOK AT HER

Alaina Monts [9:47 PM]
and dramatic ass figure skating

Sweet Mey Rude [9:47 PM]
ELEGANCE
OPULANCE
THAT DRESS THOSE GLOVES

Alaina Monts [9:48 PM]
there’s so much DRAMA!!!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:48 PM]
THE HEAD BAND
IM GAY
i want her to be our first lady
is that sexist that i didn’t say president?

Alaina Monts [9:48 PM]
WOAH

Sweet Mey Rude [9:48 PM]
woah

Alaina Monts [9:49 PM]
WHAT IS THIS FLAMING DILDO

Sweet Mey Rude [9:49 PM]
WOAH

Alaina Monts [9:49 PM]
HOLY SMOKES

Sweet Mey Rude [9:49 PM]
ALANA YOU MADE MY MOM CACKLE

Alaina Monts [9:49 PM]
haha

Sweet Mey Rude [9:49 PM]
EMOJI FIREWORKS
i love the olympics
woah
wait
i love this
these dancers

Alaina Monts [9:50 PM]
IT’S NOT OVER!

Sweet Mey Rude [9:50 PM]
YESSSSSS
THE MAKEUP
just jerk

Alaina Monts [9:51 PM]
damn this is the height of pageantry

Alaina Monts [9:55 PM]
there are SO MANY moving parts happening rn
we got hip hop dancing
we got goblins
we got fire

Sweet Mey Rude [9:55 PM]
so many flaming parts
we got kids!


Sweet Mey Rude [9:57 PM]
so what were the highlights
drones
the kids

Alaina Monts [9:57 PM]
tonga

Sweet Mey Rude [9:57 PM]
tonga

Alaina Monts [9:57 PM]
katie couric’s casual orientalism

Sweet Mey Rude [9:57 PM]
the jamaican team

Alaina Monts [9:57 PM]
maame

Sweet Mey Rude [9:57 PM]
the figure skater lighting the torch

Alaina Monts [9:57 PM]
the teeny steps as they ran up the stairs
UNCLE SINGING

Sweet Mey Rude [9:58 PM]
oh man, UNCLE SINGING

Alaina Monts [9:58 PM]
OMG

Sweet Mey Rude [9:58 PM]
who is this guy?????

Alaina Monts [9:58 PM]
THIS DUDE ON STAGE
HDFHDHHLHJdghlkj;
that’s fucking HILARIOUS

Sweet Mey Rude [9:58 PM]
Uncle singing deserves a gold medal

Alaina Monts [9:58 PM]
OK final questions:
was it darker?
was it gayer?
was it different
i think no, yes, yes

Sweet Mey Rude [9:59 PM]
i think katie tried to make it darker with the politics
it was definitely gayer
it was definitely different

Alaina Monts [10:00 PM]
to quote katie couric “lots of drama on multiple levels”

Sweet Mey Rude [10:00 PM]
also to quote katie couric “think about skeletons”

Alaina Monts [10:00 PM]
thank you mey for a lovely night
i am going to bed because it’s 10 pm

Sweet Mey Rude [10:01 PM]
thank you for sharing the pageantry
goodnight


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Alaina is a 20-something working on a PhD in Performance as Public Practice. They are a mom to three cats, they listen to a lot of NPR and musicals, and they spend a lot of time on Pinterest lusting over studio apartments. They are actively trying to build A Brand on twitter @alainamonts. One day, they will be First Lady of the United States.

Al(aina) has written 181 articles for us.

28 Comments

  1. I’m watching because y’all are watching!!

    I love the summer Olympics, but the only thing I know about the Winter Olympics is Cool Runnings and Mighty Ducks.

    Still, I’m heeeeerrrreeeee! And I’m here to leeeeeeeeaaaarnnn! And have fun!

    • Yeah. It’s so strange to be on the other side of the lived experience vs history line.

      A few years ago I was talking with my college first-years about 9/11 and most of them had only vague memories because they’d been in like kindergarten.

  2. I missed the opening ceremony, but it is weirdly hilarious to read this conversation out of context. I don’t know if what I’m imagining is more or less ridiculous than the reality (probably less, tbh).

    Also, yes: Miguk means beautiful country, and Arirang is *drastically* better than the US anthem.

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