Cowboy Clairvoyant is a new members-only newsletter and series by Autumn Fourkiller featuring dream interpretation, tarot answers, and more ventures into the Beyond.
Dear Dreamers,
I did it. I quit my federal job. I almost threw up, I cried multiple times on my last day from the anxiety, disrespect, and DOGE initiatives (if I cried only twice at my desk per day, on any given day, I counted it as a win), but I did it. There wasn’t a ghost or spirit in my immediate proximity who couldn’t sense my deep distress, I’m sure, because when I dreamt this week it was soft and cottony: my grandfather in the garden, my mother in our trailer, grading on the green couch with the duct tape, my old friend and I at the river, looking out.
My friend Sean came to spend the night with me, that last day. We talked about the book I’m working on. We watched Four Weddings. We said, can you believe in August we’ll have known each other for ten years? We ordered ramen to be delivered. We let the tears run down our faces. I said, I don’t think I could have been alone tonight, as silly as that sounds. My mind would have run amok. I filled my beloveds in, those friends who life would be impossible without. I received so much love in return that dictating it here wouldn’t be possible.
And yet, we must always try.
Yours in Love-Love-Love,
Cowboy
I and one or two other people work together to trap a villain (or possibly a dictator) in a room inside the building where we are, and I am pretty sure that the villain burns alive. I do not remember whether one of the people working with me sacrificed themself by luring the villain into the room and getting locked in there too, or we managed to lock the villain in with no one else harmed. My dream self has no moral qualms about our plot, nor any concern about the rest of the building catching fire. Instead, I go upstairs and out onto the roof, where I signal to people looking out from the balconies, windows, and rooftops of nearby buildings. We are in a city with mostly 2- to 4-storey buildings, but one nearby building has a lookout tower. The tower is round, with a hexagonal or octagonal roof. It is sunny, and the mood is celebratory. We go downstairs and out into the street. Every group of people contains at least one cousin, aunt, or uncle from my mother’s side of the family.
– Sophia
Hi Sophia,
Thank you for the gift of your dream. How compelling! How cinematic! You shared with me that you usually don’t remember your dreams, but lately you have been remembering at least one or two a month, which to me already speaks of some kind of awakening — what that awakening is, however, only you can know.
That said, and forgive me, but immediately when you reference the villain (or possibly a dictator), my mind (and spiritual sense) jumps to Jung’s concept of a shadow self. You, well, this other part of yourself that has manifested in your dream, is unaffected by the demise of the person you consider evil. A person who you are working with (which to me is yet ANOTHER version of yourself) even sacrifices themself to defeat the villain. When your plot is completed, you even feel celebratory. Then, among the crowd, a maternal lineage.
So, what does all this mean to you? Well, first, it means you need to interrogate your own shadow. This is not a fun task. This is not something you will thank me for (yet), but it needs to be done. What parts of yourself do you consider unacceptable? What parts of yourself would you cull by any means necessary? And, of course, what gold can you find amongst the shit and the muck? Secondly, if you can, try to keep a dedicated dream journal. It doesn’t even have to be that descriptive, but note what your mood/feelings/etc. were before you had a dream you remembered. Thirdly, when you think of your maternal lineage, what arises? Is there something that this line still has to give you? I think so, for someone, something, within this (ancestral) celebrates you.
Fourth, and finally, keep me updated.
See you on the Other Side,
CC
Will I find love?
– Charli
Hi Charli,
Thank you for the gift of your question. I know exactly what you are asking me, though the urge is still present to tell you that, of course, love surrounds us in many ways, and I am sure that there are many who love you, who are already present in your life. But, as I said, I know what you are asking me, so let’s take a little venture into the Beyond, you and I, and answer this question together.
First, we pass through the halls of Temperance, reminding us to be patient in our quest, that when the time is right, it will be right. So, perhaps not this year, but not too far in the future either.
As we leave the white marbled halls, there, in the distance, stands the Hierophant, a lovely sight to see. If you don’t know, this symbol can be interpreted as a sign of soon to be entering into a serious committed relationship. Marriage, mostly, but these things are changeable. The important thing to remember: your partner will share the same values as you, the same life plans, and do not settle for anything less.
Passing the Hierophant, and to end our journey together, we go into the garden of the Lovers. They tell us there is a pure love coming for you, a deep one, too. They stand entwined, in harmony.
So hold these symbols close to you as you travel, and while you wait, dictate to yourself your needs, your desires, and your deal breakers. Let this spring up from you and out, like a beacon. You are ready, yes, and you are receptive.
See you on the Other Side (and sending you luck),
CC
Please WHY do I keep dreaming about my ex? We have been no contact for several years and ended on bad terms, and for a long time I didn’t dream about her, but suddenly she’s all up in my subconscious. And it’s always something fraught like her contacting me because I owe her money or us arguing and then me realizing mid-dream “wait, why am I arguing with you we’re not even together anymore?!” Honestly, the dreams neither upset me nor make me nostalgic for the past — I’m mostly just like why now? The feelings in the dreams are intense (mostly anger/frustration/anxiety/confusion), but I don’t feel any of that towards her or the relationship anymore. I’ve healed so much and done more than enough processing of that relationship, so I don’t personally feel like there’s unresolved business there. Hell, in my waking life, I basically never think about her tbh!
– K
Hi K,
Thank you for the gift of your dream question. While I can’t say that these dreams are “lovely” I can say that they are important. And, if it makes you feel better, I can very confidently say that they are not about any latent desire to get back with your ex or be involved with her in any way. So, yay for that!
Why now, though, is indeed, the question. I’ve actually had multiple clients and Seekers express a similar frustration, and when that happens I always point them back to the source of that frustration. Where were you in your life when you were involved with your ex? What were you working on? What did you leave unfinished? Not with her, of course, but in your own life, your own passions. There you must close the loop. Or, perhaps you are almost there.
I will also say that these dreams are probably occurring so intensely because of the anxiety of your present moment, the anger, frustration, and confusion that is there in your waking life. Your brain, your spirit, they are seeking something to vent those pains — and how better than through the prism of an evil ex? It could be because of, well, the horrors. Or it could be something uniquely personal. If it is uniquely personal, interrogate it, and follow it to its logical end. I know you can do it.
See you on the Other Side,
CC
Submit your dreams and tarot questions to Cowboy Clairvoyant. You can also leave a comment on this article describing a dream to be interpreted.
