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view from the top

Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Where I’m Going

I feel lighter than I’ve been in a year. I feel ecstatic with the possibilities. I feel giddy, like I’m falling in love.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| April 25, 2017 | 6 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Where I’ve Been

Before any of my other sexuality identities, I was kinky.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| April 11, 2017 | 3 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: A Short History of What I Learned From Dating

I wish someone had told me sooner that I had been seeking mastery all this time, but I wouldn’t have been ready to hear it. Until r came along.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| March 28, 2017 | 6 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Topping While Butch

It took me years to settle into the idea that masculinity and topping were actually, authentically my identities.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| March 14, 2017 | 8 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Is Kink The New Vanilla?

You just have to be honest about what you’re looking for, and keep going after it.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| February 28, 2017 | 25 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: The Thing About Sadism

I want to break things — holes, walls, people. I want to feel the begging in my pelvis and let it ignite the fire under me to burn bright up my spine and light up all my colors.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| February 14, 2017 | 43 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: I’ll Take That Risk, And That Knife Play

“He’d asked me about it before, saying it was something he’d always wanted. And now, he was quivering on the floor, looking up at me, handing me an open knife with both hands.”

By Sinclair Sexsmith| January 31, 2017 | 14 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Palette of Permission

In the beginning checking in all the time was useful. But after six months of it, Sarah was getting annoyed.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| January 17, 2017 | 16 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: From Physical to Psychological

“But when we changed the game a little, and added just a few little things, our play soared to new mountain summits I hadn’t even known we could reach, or let alone want.”

By Sinclair Sexsmith| January 3, 2017 | 13 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Five Favorite Protocols

Within D/s relationships specifically, protocols are explicit, negotiated with the needs and best interests of everyone in mind, subject to change based on reflection and consent.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| December 21, 2016 | 29 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: It’s Protocol

We thrive on these everyday tiny moments where we both get to be reminded of our agreed-upon power differential.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| December 6, 2016 | 28 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Aftercare For Tops

“Perhaps trust is my biggest kink. That would explain a lot.”

By Sinclair Sexsmith| November 22, 2016 | 55 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Tops Have Limits, Too

“I knew she wanted it, I trusted her to know she could take what she asked for, and I wanted to give her what she wanted. But I couldn’t do it.”

By Sinclair Sexsmith| November 8, 2016 | 10 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Tender-Hearted Dom

When you want your partner to be strong, dominant, demanding and strict, “What do you need right now? Can I make you a sandwich? Let’s watch your favorite movie!” is not a sexy reaction.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| October 25, 2016 | 19 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: We Don’t Need A Safeword

“I’m not saying the only time you should play with safewords is in consensual non-consent. But to me, it’s the only time they’re really necessary.”

By Sinclair Sexsmith| October 11, 2016 | 89 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From the Top: Dominant Fantasy vs. Dominant Reality

I have to be willing to reveal the messy, intimate parts of my life to have this authority exchange really work 24/7. Otherwise, it just isn’t sustainable.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| September 27, 2016 | 5 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Wine and Pie and Collars

“I want my friends to know who I belong to now,” rife said. “I want everyone to know I am taken.”

By Sinclair Sexsmith| September 13, 2016 | 1 Comment
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Playing Through Depression

It’s almost impossible to master while grieving. When that grief turns into a depression, is it even M/s anymore?

By Sinclair Sexsmith| August 30, 2016 | 11 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Giving Orders

Giving orders is more than the words coming out of my mouth. It’s the tone of voice I use, the eye contact, the confidence, the ease with which I speak.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| August 16, 2016 | 14 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Desire That Looks Like Mine

The possibility of finding our kink community gave me the courage to take another deep breath and open the door.

By Sinclair Sexsmith| August 2, 2016 | 12 Comments
Sex + Relationships

View From The Top: Coming and Crying; Master and Slave

“Master and slave — in consensual, intentional contexts — are the precise words for the cravings I have in my heart and gut to own, control, protect and nurture my partner.”

By Sinclair Sexsmith| July 19, 2016 | 8 Comments
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From the Archives

  • A Tale Of Two Ellens

    A Tale Of Two Ellens

  • This Is A Dead Mom Essay

    This Is A Dead Mom Essay

  • Estranged: How I Fell In Love With A Girl And Lost My Family

    Estranged: How I Fell In Love With A Girl And Lost My Family

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