I am ready to look gorgeous on the sidelines and settle down with a woman whose sport I know nothing about. Also, making out in cars is underrated, and if I facetime you with a bonnet on we must be getting serious.
Don’t let your boyfriend stop you from your blessing. Also, you must have mommi issues to ride this ride, and when we meet IRL be ready to put your mouth where you said it would be in that text you sent at 2:43 AM.
Should I start using TikTok to place hook-up ads with accompanying visuals and music?!?!
I think about Queen Latifah 10 times a day and apparently, y’all do too. Also, who wouldn’t want their vaccine served with a side of celery juice and a dash of Young MA?
Whenever I see a hot Lezbeeanne with a bookbag waiting for the train, I can’t help but wonder — whose night are they about to go make? Also, there is no such thing as a white stud and I am moving to Trinidad in search of true love.
I would like you all to know you’re probably a bit messy but just embrace it for summer starts. Also, I will absolutely cheat on you with Kehlani if she gave me the time of day and we will just have to cross that bridge when we get there.
Y’all aren’t scamming enough for me. Also, make sure your spirit isn’t ugly, stop questioning your friends when they suddenly say their goodbyes, and if you’re a stem let’s get married so I can double my wardrobe and makeup.
Plus — a dash of stud slander and a reminder to always shoot your shot. Stay hydrated out there, champ.
I have decided to move to Paris to find me a wife with an accent and acrylics. If that doesn’t work, I’ll stay here and try to continue dodging entanglements. Also — FEMME FOR FEMME LOVE AND BOOTY GRABS FOR YOUR MIDWEEK SLUMP!
Ultimately, I just want a hot girl to bring me coffee in bed and to see more studs loving up on each other — and making out.
Welcome to our new weekly round up, FYP! Shelli will get you all hot and bothered in under 45 seconds with the help of TikTok.