So, you’re here because you’ve been on T just long enough to start to grow a mustache, and you want to know how to take it to the next level. Well, you’ve come to the right place! I’ve been on T for a year now and I have the perfect tip for anyone just now growing their mustache:
Shave it.
“But what about—”
Shave it.
“Okay but what if—”
Shave it.
“My partner says they—”
They’re lying. Shave it.
“But it’s coming in dark and—”
No it’s not. Shave it.
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Motti (he/they) is a New York born and raised comedian, writer, and content creator. You can find him on Instagram @hotfunnysmartmotti or at a bar show in Brooklyn somewhere.
Reed has written 43 articles for us.
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Or just move to New Zealand. Wispy mustaches and full blown mullets are all the rage here like it’s 1970.
Neverrrrrrr
The real answer is to go even harder and dye your shitty moustache darker with eyelash dye.
Not only do I refuse, I’m also adding a shitty lil goatee :)