I’m demanding, stubborn, self-sufficient, and always right.

I’ve decided that SW Fla. is totally the place to be. I live with four cats and two dogs, and my wife in picturesque Cape Coral, FL. Sadly, I have an ambivalent relationship with my job in public service and I continue the quest for meaningful and gainful employment elsewhere. My choices thus far are going back to college for a *radically* different degree, going to the police academy (Question: do you think a Glock would go with these shoes?), or teaching high school. With any option, danger and unpredictability are my primary motivating factors. (Tax, title, and license fees extra. All sales final. No exchanges, refunds, or merchandise credit. Offer good for a limited time only at participating locations. Dater beware. Comprehensive claim insurance optional. Heart-breakage a distinct feasibility. Entrants eligible to receive a prize will be required to sign a declaration confirming understanding and acceptance and compliance with the contest rules and acceptance of a prize and a release satisfactory to the Blonde Mafia [read: me] and participating sponsors before being declared a winner. No warranties guaranteed or implied. And for the record, no, I don’t know Mike Jones. Void where prohibited, especially in Canada.)