Q:

I have been dating my girlfriend for about 14.5 months, and she is perfect in every way. She has a great relationship with her parents and is so funny and surprising and takes me on incredible dates. It has been a whirlwind romance full of love and thrills! I love so much about her, and she supports me more than anyone ever has before. There’s just one tiny issue that I haven’t been sure how to navigate. My girlfriend craves the taste of human flesh.

This wouldn’t necessarily be an issue with me except for the fact that she is constantly trying to get ME to also indulge in cannibalism. I have no real interest in cannibalism, though I wish to respect her choices. But this is a boundary I’ve been having difficult enforcing, as she is really adamant that if I “just tried it” I’d realize it can be quite delicious. I feel torn! I want to share in this life experience with her, but I really cannot stomach the thought of eating human flesh. She says she acquired a taste for it when stranded in the wilderness as a teenager, and when I’m like “can you say more about that?” she changes the subject.

I try to placate her by asking things like “does it taste like chicken?” and she’s like “no, it tastes like sin.” It’s mildly upsetting. But again, I love her, and I want to support her and not judge. Do you think we can find a way to make the relationship work despite her appetite for human flesh?

A:

Hey, so while I think it’s nice you want to support your girlfriend, you do not have to eat anything you do not want to eat. Your girlfriend should be more respectful of this boundary you’ve set.

There are plenty of people who make different dietary preferences and restrictions work within relationships. Vegans can date non-vegans; people with dairy allergies can date cow milk drinkers. I feel confident that a non-cannibal can make it work with a cannibal, so long as boundaries are respected and there isn’t any pressure on either party to start or stop their cannibalism. I would have a conversation with your girlfriend where you make it clear you don’t want her to keep pushing you to just “try it.”

Also, you should definitely ask more questions about the whole stranded in the wilderness thing? It feels like there could be some unprocessed trauma there, so you might want to check in with your girlfriend to see if she’s willing to share more or seek help.

I’m wishing you luck as you navigate this. Hopefully your girlfriend can come to understand that your rejection of cannibalism is not an indictment of her behavior but rather just a personal preference and different lifestyle choice than the one she has made.