On October 6, 2022, I had gender-affirming top surgery. Hell yeah!
On October 17 that same year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Not a hell yeah.
Going into top surgery, I was brimming with excitement, anticipation, and dreams of my first shirtless summer. At the time, I had no idea I had cancer. When my top surgeon unexpectedly found a tumor while performing my top surgery, I was fortunate she was able to remove it, right there on the spot. Without her quick thinking and ability to switch from top surgery, to tumor removal, then back to finishing top surgery, my life would look much different today. Without top surgery, that tumor could have gone unnoticed for a long time. Yet another reason that gender-affirming care saves lives.
I learned a ton of stuff along the way and want to pass along some of those lessons. Having cancer sucks. So I’m all about trying to find ways to help folks minimize their cancer risk.
Top surgery often involves leaving a small amount of tissue in your chest. Your anatomy, preferences, and surgery goals can all play a role in how much tissue remains. If you haven’t had top surgery yet, it’s something worth discussing with your surgeon. We don’t all have the same goals, and that’s okay. For me, I’d been putting in work at the gym, trying to build the pecs I hoped were hiding under there somewhere. So my surgeon and I decided to leave a small amount of tissue in my chest. While it’s different for everyone, that remaining tissue can help sculpt and define your chest. But that little bit of tissue means that even though we finally yeeted those things, we carry a small risk of cancer. Since that little bit of tissue might still cause a lot of havoc, one way to keep up is to do self-exams of your chest before and after top surgery.
Given that over half (51%) of LGBTQ+ adults say that in the past year, they or a family member living with them has had problems paying for food, housing, transportation, or other necessities, catching cancer early is an imperative for queer and trans folks who may already be struggling to survive. Why not do something that takes five minutes once a month that might have a huge difference in your life? Trust me, you’d rather know early than late, so humor me and give it a shot. Plus, you get to take your shirt off, and we all know half the reason to get top surgery is so we don’t have to wear a damn shirt all the time.
Self-exams are not meant to replace a doctor’s visit or preventative screenings. More than anything, a self-exam is really about knowing your own body and being able to tell when something might look or feel different than your normal. Getting regular preventative screenings is the best way to know your body and your baselines.
So, let’s get into it…
Step 1: THIRST TRAP!
Get topless and in front of a mirror with some decent lighting. Set the mood. Play some music. Look in the mirror and love on that beautiful, gorgeous body of yours. You went through surgery and recovery, so love on that chest and do whatever you can to make yourself feel comfortable and safe.
Use your eyes first and scan what’s there: scars, chest, collarbones. Nips? Maybe. Maybe not. If you’ve got them, check them. Do they look the same? Weird? Crusty? Different? Just take it all in.
You’re not judging. You’re memorizing.
Step 2: Hands In
Using the pads of your fingers, make slow circles across your chest. Move across everything: along scars, over your whole chest, sternum, collarbones, and yes, the pits. Lymph nodes live there, and they’re nosy. They swell if you’re sick, recently had a vaccine, and they might even know that you and your partner had a fight about whether to watch Drag Race or King of Drag last night.
Switch up pressure: light first, then a little firmer. Firm like tofu, not hard like your cat making biscuits. Scar tissue isn’t just a Red Hot Chili Pepper’s song (ugh… I’m old!). It’s a common result of healing after top surgery. But it can feel weird: ropey, bumpy, stubborn. That’s normal. You’re just learning what’s always been there so you can spot if something new emerges or if there are any changes.
Step 3: Focus on Details
Skin check. Any dimples? Ridges? Odd spots? If you’ve never done this before, this first round is your baseline. When you do a self-exam in the future, you’ll compare your findings to this first time.
Step 4: Repeat but Don’t Obsess
Once a month is plenty. In the breast cancer world, we remind ourselves to do a quick exam on the first of every month. Cop a feel on the first…what better way to start your month, right?
Step 5: When To Call in Backup
Most likely, you won’t feel anything new. Scar tissue and lymph nodes like to keep life interesting though. So, if something’s new, sticks around, or feels off, call your doctor. And if you don’t have one you trust, ask your people. Someone knows someone. Or ask me. I’m no expert, but I will try to get you connected to some folks that can help. No guarantees, but I’ll do my best.
You fought for this chest. Own it. Celebrate it. Celebrate the trans joy of it! And yeah, take care of it. Cancer is sneaky, but it’s easier to fight when you catch it early.
Five minutes. Shirt off. Hands on. That’s it.
Big thanks for this 👍🏻