Cowboy Clairvoyant is a new members-only newsletter and series by Autumn Fourkiller featuring dream interpretation, tarot answers, and more ventures into the Beyond.

Dear Dreamers,

Howdy, and welcome to the first ever all Answers From the Beyond edition of Cowboy Clairvoyant. When I floated this idea to my editor, our trusty KKU (she who loves to break form), she gave me an enthusiastic yes, and so if you’d like to see more focused newsletters, do let us know whether in the comments or here.

With that bit of housekeeping sorted, I wanted to give you all a little background on how I read Tarot (as it’s different for everyone). For me, like a lot of similar spiritual tools, the Tarot is simply a way to root myself and whoever I am reading for in the same kind of awareness. The things I am picking up on often exist outside of the symbol presented, but the symbol itself is something to hang on to. It is a funny thing that writing is my chosen medium (ha), because many mystics before me, and surely after me, too, have remarked upon how difficult it is to put words on top to the incommunicable, to the Divine, to the recesses of our psyches. And yet, it is the thing that calls to us, in the mouths of those we love, in the dark, in the eyes of strangers who carry something with them. Whenever I feel myself reaching into the past, the future, the Other Side, I know I am doing what I am meant to do in this iteration. The next step is simply to jot it all down.

I’ll leave you today with the scent of honeysuckle in the air, the first fully sunny day in this part of the state, and a lot of filtered water in your emotional support water bottle. Say thank you to the wind, the flowers, and the earth. Remember they like to talk, too. Remember they, too, can inform your life.

Yours Captivated by Wunmi Mosaku,
Cowboy

I need a new career path in a new sector, what should I look for to decide?
– Anonymous 

Hi Anonymous,

Thank you for the gift of your question. And what a question it is! After three-ish years of working, in some capacity, for the state and federal governments, I find myself free, with nothing much to do except, well, what I feel I must. I completely understand your need for change, and I know the newness, though exciting, can hold a particular kind of unsettling shadow.

The first card I pulled for you was Judgement, an auspicious start! This card speaks to the truth of your situation — that this is a moment of reawakening for you, of big decisions, and that you should not settle or wait where you are.

When I was meditating on your question, a few things came forward as well. I thought of your adolescent self — what did you love then? What felt impossible? I don’t even mean say, you being an astronaut or explorer, I mean what are the things about those dreams of your future that appealed to you. Adventure? Math and science? Far flung places? Interrogate those. Write them down. See what they have in common.

All of that in mind, your second card, the Hierophant, warns you against ventures that may pull you away from the established. That isn’t to say that your new career path has to be boring, simply that it will appear to you fully formed — something akin to a year back in school, an externship, then a job, not a new stained glass business when you have never once considered stained glass. I think you have been looking at options already, and one seems more doable than the others. Take some time to think about it, but if it feels feasible, try it.

Our jobs may take the shape of our lives, especially in the world we find ourselves in, but they cannot be the only thing in our cups. Remember that, and things will come easily.

See you on the Other Side,
CC

Am I the only one holding myself back from achieving my dreams or is it karma?
– Paris 

Hi Paris,

Thank you for the gift of your question. And again, what a question it is. A very big one, too. To begin, I can tell you that my idea of “karma” will not be as developed as those in other traditions, though I do feel that there are things we carry with us in previous iterations, and sometimes, yes, those things hold us back, and they need to be resolved before we can move forward in the lives we currently occupy.

To answer your question, first I must ask you to think deeply about what your dreams are and why you feel there is something so “bad” about you that the Great Mystery itself would intervene to keep you from achieving those dreams. I sense a deep wound here, one I won’t prod at, but that I do feel must be tended to.

First, I pulled the Magician for you, suggesting to me (in the ouroboros) that there is something within the realms of our cycles of life and death that is important especially to you, but not so much that you are in debt to these cycles. Secondly, I pulled The High Priestess, speaking to me of a sacred stillness, a time to retreat and figure out who you really are, as things are not always as they appear to you now.

All that to say is, no I do not think karma is what is holding you back, but your attitude towards yourself regarding karma and intentions that is. Remember to stick towards cultivating, whether in ritual or in your own mind, what exactly it is you want to achieve, and that you are going to achieve it. Mindset isn’t everything, but it is important. Remember, too, that often our first thoughts are what is ingrained in us (that we are not good enough, that we are bad and incurable), and our second thoughts are who we actually are, and are becoming.

See you on the Other Side,
CC

Even as I have a partner now, my lifelong loneliness overwhelms and dispirits me, and the joy of life now dims for a bit to a while. I’m not looking for toxic positivity silver linings but a way to feel the joy as deeply as the loneliness. 
–Wandering Wanderer 

Hi Wandering Wanderer,

Thank you for the gift of your question, or rather, your quest (if I can be so bold). First, let me assure you that I have no intention of blowing toxic positivity your way. I am not that kind of spiritualist, nor have I ever been. My issues actually lie in the same avenue that yours do — I am often overwhelmed by the sadness that has haunted me since childhood, whether that be my own or someone else’s or the ghosts.

All of that said, there is no easy answer to your question, nor could there ever be. Perhaps this is the wrong thing to say in a column geared towards the thing this column is geared to, but it’s true. I try to honor each interpretation or query that comes across my path with respect, kindness, but perhaps above all honesty.

To feel the joy as deeply as the loneliness will take work, hard work, spiritually and otherwise. It may never be easy, but it will always be worth it. My first advice for you is to cleanse, in whichever way you feel appropriate. I’ll use smoke here as an example: pass lavender smoke over your body, your doorways, hell, even your laptop. Take a salt bath. Light a white candle. When you light that candle, say I welcome joy, I welcome joy, I welcome joy. I call joy towards me, I call joy towards me, I call joy towards me. Say it out loud. Build this into your routine, make notes of joy that you see in other people, write them down, make them not just a passing observance but something that you must do. Keep this up, for weeks, for months. Eventually it will become easier, and perhaps you might even feel it in yourself.

Remember, too, that there are many on this path beside you, even if you cannot see them. Good luck. I am sending you joy upon joy.

See you on the Other Side,
CC

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