The 2013 Academy Awards Liveblog and Open Thread

Welcome to the 2013 Academy Awards Liveblog and Open Thread! Are you at an amazing Oscars party with tons of friends? I’m in my living room with a bunch of takeout and towels over the bottom of the windows so it isn’t freezing in here. Yay Oscars!

You may recall from our Golden Globes Liveblog that I hadn’t seen any of the movies nominated. Well the impressive display of acting captured my attention and encouraged me to see all of the Best Picture nominees this year. Just kidding, I spent the next week obsessing over Jodie Foster coming out and then resumed my life as normal. I did manage to see at least a few more of the nominees, including but not limited to that five hour torturefest Zero Dark Thirty, the potentially entirely made up but  based on a true story Argo and the delightful Silver Linings Playbook which I want to win Best Picture even though it doesn’t have a prayer.

I’m rooting for SLP or Argo for tons of categories, but I think Lincoln will likely clean up. I didn’t see Lincoln because I have the attention span of a fourth grader. I should point out that one of the guys I go to med school with was involved in Beasts of the Southern Wild, so obviously if they win I will be equally excited. I’m preparing an Oscars related nickname for him in anticipation already. In case you forgot the nominees, here are some categories people seem to care about. I also feel generally positive feelings about Django Unchained and Les Mis.

Best Picture:
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Lincoln
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Amour
Django Unchained
Argo

Best Director:
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Michael Haneke, Amour
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Actress:
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Best Actor:
Daniel Day Lewis, Lincoln
Denzel Washington, Flight
Hugh Jackman, Les Miserables
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Best Supporting Actress:
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Amy Adams, The Master

Best Supporting Actor:
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Philip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Alan Arkin, Argo
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln

Here are some other categories I actually care about, my choice indicated by **.

Best Original Screenplay:
Zero Dark Thirty
Django Unchained
Moonrise Kingdom**
Amour
Flight

Best Animated Feature:
Frankenweenie
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph
Paranorman
Brave** [was under-nominated overall]

Best Original Song
“Before My Time” from Chasing Ice
“Everybody Needs A Best Friend” from Ted [skyfall was a better song but how funny would this be?]
“Pi’s Lullaby” from Life of Pi
“Skyfall” from Skyfall** [Getting Adele closer to EGOTing]
“Suddenly” from Les Misérables

Best Animated Short
Adam and Dog
Fresh Guacamole
Head over Heels
Maggie Simpson in ‘The Longest Daycar’ [Again, would be hilarious if it won]
Paperman**

To read all the nominees, you can read them here.

The show starts at 8:30pm EST with all sorts of preshow starting at 7pm EST

7:40PM I know the show doesn’t start for almost an hour but I am in legitimate Oscar Overload, I’ve got a bottle of Rosé, Chipotle on the way and I really just want to look at dresses!

ADELE IS WEARING THE SAME THING SHE ALWAYS WEAR BUT SHE STILL LOOKS AMAZING!

ADELE IS WEARING THE SAME THING SHE ALWAYS WEAR BUT SHE STILL LOOKS AMAZING!

JHUD IN DIOR. PERFECT.

JLAW IN DIOR. PERFECT.

NICE ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE HAIRCUT CHARLIZE

NICE ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE HAIRCUT CHARLIZE

JANE FONDA STARING AS: THE 1980S.

JANE FONDA STARING AS: THE 1980S.

7:45PM I have companions tonight!
Me: How would you like to be referred to tonight? By your name or as “my friend”?
My Friend: As “my friend… the best and most prettiest person I know.”

Let’s see what other people are up to!

That’s right! The lovely Miss Haviland is performing at the Oscars tonight!

7:50PM: Did anyone else just see that comercial about the guy who “Tooth Picks” for a living?! Like he makes things out of tooth picks.

OK found it online. This is the most important Oscar moment of the night.

7:55PM: Kristin Chenoweth is too cute hosting the red carpet. She just let Hugh Jackman pick her up. She screamed, “Wolverine did it!!”

BROADWAY GOLD

BROADWAY GOLD

8:05PM: Quvenzhané Wallis is carrying a puppy purse I think.

CLASSIC

CLASSIC

THIS NINE YEAR OLD IS NOMINATED FOR AN ACADEMY AWARD.

THIS NINE YEAR OLD IS NOMINATED FOR AN ACADEMY AWARD.

8:15PM:

NEXT PERSON TO COME OUT?

NEXT PERSON TO COME OUT?

LOVELY

LOVELY

NEXT CONTENDER FOR STYLE THIEF?

NEXT CONTENDER FOR STYLE THIEF?

8:25PM:
Me: [to my gay guy friend] You will be playing the part of the person who keeps saying all the male actors are gay
My friend: But they are all gay.

8:30PM: And we open on the big show!!

8:35PM:I really like Seth MacFarlane so someone please tell me if I shouldn’t. I thought Ted was really funny and went to RISD which is in Providence where I live!! Unfortunately he’s kind of tanking on his opening monologue. This is awkward.

8:36PM: Oh no!! Too soon with the Chris Brown and Mel Gibson jokes. This is awkward.

8:39PM:
Oh thank God. The terrible opening is actually a joke! Huzzah!

William Shatner: “Why can’t Tina and Amy host every year”

Annndd cue the song about boobs.Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.31.22 AM

8:40PM: Also Seth MacFarlane may have just come out? Was he already out? Is he gay? In other news, who knew Charlize Theron and Channing Tatum could dance? Just kidding. Every celebrity can dance. Haven’t you people seen Dancing with the Stars?
slide_282793_2145543_free
I’m also now convinced sock puppets are the funniest thing on the planet.

8:45PM:I’m thoroughly enjoying Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon Levitt soft-shoeing. I can get behind this.

William Shatner: “Are you sure you want the be the only Oscar host to ever get a bad review?”

Like what… other than when Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosted? Because that was the worst ever.

8:48PM:Octavia Spencer looks lovely announcing Best Supporting Actor
My Friend: Oh. I thought that Tommy Lee Jones was nominated for Men in Black IV…
But it’s not! Christoph Waltz wins Best Supporting Actor for Django Unchained. More importantly the camera just panned to Jack Nicholson and he looks completely stoned out of his mind.

VIA BUZZFEED

VIA BUZZFEED

Also someone please fix Quentin Tarantino’s collar?

TARANTINO VIA BUZZFEED

TARANTINO VIA BUZZFEED

8:57PM: Neither Melissa Mccarthy nor Paul Rudd is wearing their real hair today. They’re announcing Best Animated Film. I’m rooting for Paperman… and Paperman wins Best Animated Short!.

9:00PM: Brave wins for Best Animated Film! In case you missed it, the winner just thanked her daughter, they panned to the daughter and she had lipstick on her cheek kiss from mom style!Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.34.40 AM

9:04PM: They’re showing a clip of Les Mis and in honor of it I’ve got a lovely picture of Haviland back stage!!! Yay Haviland I can’t wait to see you on my TV!!

BACKSTAGE BEAUTY!!

BACKSTAGE BEAUTY!!

9:08PM: Hurrah for the Avengers! I loved it. Also this line-up goes Tux, Tux, Tux, Tux, Bad-ass Samuel L. Jackson. Either way, Life of Pi wins for Cinematography and Lucius Malfoy stands up to receive the award. In med school, we call the way he’s talked “Pressured Speech.” Calm down bro. No one’s gonna take it away from you.
slide_282793_2146011_free
9:10PM: I feel like they tried to get the Avengers guys to do a George Clooney/Brad Pitt buddy buddy goof off vibe but instead it was just awkward. Oh, and Life of Pi wins for Best Visual Effects. Life of Pi is cleaning up. Also the walk off music is officially hilarious horror move music.

9:17PM: Jennifer Aniston you can talk about waxing any time. Or announce Best Costume Designer for Anna Karenina. It beat all sort of things like Mirror Mirror and Snow White and the Huntsman. What was Mirror Mirror? Oh right. The OTHER remake of Snow White.

9:22PM: Congratulations to the hairstylists and make-up artists who just won an academy award for cutting everyone hair off in Les Mis. Too bad Tami Lane didn’t win.
slide_282793_2146239_free
Halle Berry just said Pussy on TV! Do we think she got the courage and power to do so from her amazing shoulder pads? I am loving this Bond tribute! The word from the med students is that none of us have seen many Bond movies because none of us can follow them. These people are going to be your doctors.

9:25PM: Dame Shirley Bassey is performing, this is so exciting. Just kidding, I have no idea who this is. I googled it. She sings bond songs. I hope Adele comes out soon.
Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.33.38 AM

9:30PM: I’d like to claim I care as much about the live action short films as I do about the animated one but I don’t. Also I forgot to watch them. Curfew wins for Best Live Action Short. If you told me the guy accepting was a member of a eight piece electronica folk bluegrass band I would believe you.

9:35PM: Did anyone else just hear the girl from Best Short Documentary Inocente try to start thanking people after the camera panned away and the music started. It’s like, it’s over. But seriously, jokes aside I’m so glad they won. But it was funny.

9:40PM: My attention span is too short to even watch the trailer for Lincoln. The worst part is that when it probably wins I’m going to have to see it. I mean, presidential movies always win.

9:45PM: I like how Ben Affleck is announcing the Best Documentary. You know, because his movie was based on a true story and 85% made up. But I loved it anyways. Searching for Sugar Man wins. I really want to see it.

9:50PM: You know this award show is getting boring because my friends and I somehow ended up talking about transmission of Herpes and diagnosing the gaits of people walking onscreen (shuffle gait). Oh med students.

My friends and I are fighting. I think Jessica Chastaine and JGarn have most beautiful dresses ever. My friends think they look like ridiculous clown women. They announced Amour winning for best foreign film. Well obviously. It is nominated for Best Picture.

VIA HUFFINGTON POST

VIA HUFFINGTON POST


9:52PM: Let’s get to the part where Haviland sings. I’m bored.

9:54PM:Oh! It’s time! I think…? It’s a whole movie musical medley! It’s Chicago first, I loved this movie. Love love loved it. can’t even begin. I’m on edge of my seat. I’m doing so many jazz hands right now.

9:58PM: Catherine Zeta Jones just had her crotch in some dancer’s face a la Silver Linings Playbook.

10:00PM: I just want everyone out there in TV land to know that I just got teased by all my friends for singing along to “That Jazz” but then they proceeded to sing along with JHud. So. We all have our vices. Come onnnn. It’s time for Haviland to come out!! Haviland! Haviland! Haviland!

10:02PM: Yay it’s Les Mis time! It’s Wolverine! Thank God it’s not Russel Crow. I couldn’t watch another constipated song by him. Anne Hathaway’s hair looks like she going through her initial baby dyke phase before she exactly figures out how to have her perfect gay hair. Oh. There’s constipated Russel.

More importantly Amanda Seyfried dress looks like some hot bondage couture.

10:05PM:I SEE HAVILAND I SEE HAVILAND I SEE HAVILAND!!!!!
Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.27.55 AM


This is seriously amazing. Also everyone playing the Oscars Drinking Game should drink for Anne Hathaway crying.

10:10PM: During this comercial break I’d like to inform you that Autostraddle is officially a more accurate news source than the NYTimes.

SHE WAS DANCING WITH CHANNING TATUM

SHE WAS DANCING WITH CHANNING TATUM

10:11PM: It weird that Seth MacFarlane just introduced Ted because, um, he is Ted. Also if there is a Hollywood post-oscars orgie does Anne Hathaway cry tears of joy the whole time?

10:15PM: So the little fuzzy bear awarded Les Misérables Best Sound Mixing. And the winner for Best Sound Editing was… a tie? To Skyfall and Zero Dark Thirty. Do ties happen in the Academy Awards?

10:20PM: After that last Sound of Music joke I think we can officially agree that Seth MacFarlane hosting is just one long inside joke we only sort of get. At least we have the wonderful Christopher Plummer to announce Best Supporting Actress.

Everyone drink because Anne Hathaway just cried again upon seeing her own performance.

10:23PM: And Anne Hathaway wins best supporting actress. There’s a small group of gays frolicking around my living room celebrating right now. Well. Celebrating and pointing out her nipples. Who picked out that weird apron dress and floral diamond necklace. Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.22.22 AM


10:30PM: I couldn’t have been more bored by this college student presentation thing.

10:33PM:In other news, I think Seth MacFarlane just referenced 28 days. I briefly thought he was referencing a remake of it. Because it came out so long ago that it’s basically obsolete. And Argo wins for Best Film Editing but it took everything Sandra Bullock had in her.

10:36PM: Oh thank fucking god they’re letting us listen to Adele finally. I wish Haviland was on stage again. Honestly I think that was the Oscars really peaking.
Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.21.12 AM
10:40PM: And the universe agrees that Adele wins all the Oscars ever.

10:43PM: I always forget that Nicole Kidman is Australian until the moment she opens her mouth. I always assumer her voice should be like it is in Moulin Rouge. I almost feel like she’s just trying to trick me.

10:48PM: Daniel Radcliffe and KStew are presenting together! KStew: come out of the goddamn closet. Please. In other news, Daniel Radcliffe must hate it that every time he walks on stage anywhere they play the theme to Harry Potter. C’mon guys, give him a break. He’s trying to make a new career for himself. You don’t play the theme to The Princess Diaries every time Anne Hathaway walks out.

VIA HUFFINGTON POST

VIA HUFFINGTON POST


10:50PM: Lincoln just won for Best Production Design and the guy who accepted just thanked his wife Adele. Bro, didn’t you and your wife get the memo? No one but Adele is allowed to be named Adele anymore. Like how no one is allowed to be named Blue Ivy anymore. Not that anyone was.

10:52PM: Salma Hayek looks like an Alien tonight.

10:57PM: Now for the In Memoriam portion of the Oscars, or as I like to call them, the Fuck He Died? I Am So Old portion. I really do love how they always include people who do behind the scenes stuff that the average joe might not know about but who is so important to the final picture. Can you tell I did costume design?

11:02PM: Wait. I was in the bathroom. Why is Barbra Streisand singing. Does anyone know? No… no one knows? Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.20.28 AM

11:08PM: How can it be 10 years since Chicago won best picture. When did I get so old? Is there any chance Queen Latifah is going to take this opportunity to come out? It’s time. The cast of Chiacago awards Life of Pi the Oscar for Best Musical Score. Queen Latifah shouted it out so loud! Do we know why Renee Zellweger acted so shocked by the idea of reading the award winner?

VIA HUFFINGTONPOST

VIA HUFFINGTONPOST

11:10PM:This is a long award show. It’s late and there’s still so many awards!!

11:12PM: ScarJo sings? For a movie about climate change and icebergs? How did she get so perfect?

11:15PM:How did I miss the memo that Norah Jones performed the song from Ted? That’s too hilarious. Too bad Adele will win. Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.19.19 AM

11:16PM: And there it is. Duh. I do love that she still cries when she wins. She’s got the O and the G all she needs is a Tony and an Emmy to get that EGOT!!

11:23PM: Charlize Theron’s is rocking that alternative lifestyle haircut balls deep. Is this because she took an acting roll in order to win Best Actress Who Cut All Her Hair Off just like Anne Hathaway?
Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.16.01 AM
The Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay goes to Argo. I can’t believe that bro just donated his Oscar to everyone who solves problems nonviolently. That is so real. Nice work bro.

11:26PM: Now. Moonrise Kingdom better fucking win for Best Original Screenplay.

11:28PM: And it’s Quentin Tarantino for Django Unchained. Did the music just play and then Tarantino managed to stop the music and speak again? How is that possible? Is that magic? I feel like that’s the Oscars version of talking your way out of a speeding ticket.
Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.16.10 AM
11:35PM: And Jane Fonda takes the stage dressed as the entire decade of the 1980s. Slash maybe pit crew worker. Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.16.51 AM

She announces Ang Lee winning Best Director for Life of Pi! You may remember Lee for directing the amazing life changing movie, Hulk. Okay and also Brokeback Mountain.
Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.17.38 AM

11:41PM: I’ve been waiting all night to hear Best Actress awarded. I really think there’s a ton of talent this year. I want JLaw to win because, obviously. She just responded to watching her own scene like she’d never seen the scene before. Still, I wouldn’t mind seeing Quvenzhané Wallis win. I think we can all agree that would be amazing.

11:43PM: Holy shit! JLaw just won and then she fell on her way up! She bit it!!

LOVELY

LOVELY

THAT'S BETTER

THAT’S BETTER


Bradley Cooper is grinning like a Hatter because he knows JLaw winning gives him a shot.
YET ROBERT DE NIRO LOOKS SO BORED

YET ROBERT DE NIRO LOOKS SO BORED


11:45PM: Meryl Streep can do no wrong. She did, however, just pick a wedgie. But she was so great when she did it.

11:48PM:
Meryl: And the Oscar goes to Daniel Day-Lewis
Me: What even was he in?
The entire room: Lincoln!!

HUGS FROM MERYL

HUGS FROM MERYL


11:54PM: Did the Oscars seriously manage to get Michelle Obama to announce an award?! I love that she is too badass to show up but she still gets to present. I feel like this is in response to Clinton at the Golden Globes. Also when Michele Obama says “no matter who you love” was she referring to those two total lesbians behind her?
VIA BUZZFEED

VIA BUZZFEED


11:56PM: The award for Best Picture goes to Argo. Wait, Argo?! I know it won the Golden Globe but who saw that one one coming? If we weren’t going to mentally jerk off Lincoln then I feel like we could have agreed it should have been SLP. Well, I really did love Argo. I can live with this.

In other news why is the producer who isn’t George Clooney or Ben Affleck talking for forever? Like we get it, you like Ben Affleck and think he should have been nominated for Best Director.
Screen Shot 2013-02-25 at 1.14.35 AM
11:58PM: Now that Ben Affleck is speaking I just want to let everyone on the internet know that my sister-in-law sells cheese to him and JGarn. I think that’s the big takeaway from tonight.


12:01AM: At least we get to be sung out by Kristin Chenoweth in a costume change!

Good night. Argo fuck yourself.

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Lizz

Lizz is a consumer, lover and writer of all things pop culture and the Fashion/Style Editor at Autostraddle.com. She is also full time medical student at Brown University in Providence, RI. You can find her on the twitter, the tumblr or even on the instagram.

Lizz has written 261 articles for us.

60 Comments

  1. I’m in bed because it’s 1AM here. I don’t really care about any of this except to say Beasts Of The Southern Wild should win everything it’s nominated for, and the rest. That film destroyed me.

    I’m going to sleep now. Have a fun Oscar party. I’ll catch up on the pretty women in the pretty dresses tomorrow…

  2. I am so happy that Quvenzhane Wallis brought her puppy purse, I love how she’s had a different puppy purse for each award show. And she looks adorable in that dress.

  3. OK… song and dance about “we saw your boobs.” Time to turn it off and dream about Danica Patrick.

  4. Opening dialogue was not flattering to human beings, let alone women. Can we just admire and uplift the ‘production’ and ‘movie’ talent without lowering ourselves to the distasteful opening act? I would have kept my TV off until 5:50 pm if someone had warned me! Congratulations to all who have shared their humility, talent and gifting.

    • In this case, it’s kinda sad about the timing. He was getting ready to talk about Rhythm and Hues (the effects company that did the tiger) filing for bankruptcy and laying off hundreds of the very people who did the work on Life of Pi without pay… some of those people are on work visas, so they’re also getting sent “home” at the same time :\

  5. Not liking so much of the hosting. The flu comment? No.
    Is the goal of an Oscar host to make as many such comments as inhumanely possible?

  6. I really wanted to have the cast of Pitch Perfect show up to end the musical section.

    I also totally sang along CZJ to All That Jazz cause I love Chicago.

  7. Wow, it’s 2013 and we get, like, one woman’s film up there. Oh and a joke about a woman catching terrorists because she’s just a nagging typical woman she “never lets anything go.” …..actually that’s an improvement on his joke. HAHA SEXISM HAHA

  8. I liked Princess of Genovia Anne Hathaway but Awards Season Anne Hathaway just kind of reminds me of Jenny Schecter.

    • OK I totally also realized a while into the show that THAT was who she was reminding me of, with her haircut!

  9. Shirley Bassey was awesome, I used to sing Goldfingerrrr, in my living room with a hair brush when i was a kid.
    I thought Jennifer Garner’s dress was gorgeous.

  10. I knew Skyfall would beat Pi’s Lullaby, but damn I still hate that it did. And that Bombay Jayashri didn’t perform, that would’ve brought some life into this drab show (it really has been more boring than usual tonight, I have no idea why. Seth MacFarlane isn’t funny, the songs have dragged on too long, etc.)

    If Argo or Zero Dark Thirty win any more awards, I’m gonna be sick.

  11. MICHELLE OBAMA!

    I guess they decided this was the only way that they could top having Bill Clinton announce at the Golden Globes. It definitely worked!

  12. Is it just me or is Michelle Obama making you want to watch every movie ever too?!

    Also Jennifer Lawrence, you are wonderful.

    And I am LOVING all the lipstick kiss marks being left on cheeks…I think I need one.

    Happy Oscars :)

  13. In other news, ANG LEE!!!

    And he mentioned Taiwan, and Canada, and signed off with “Xie Xie! Namaste!”

    And was generally the most adorable person on the planet.

    “You are the golden statue in my heart”

    And his wife’s face when he thanked her.

    jdsakl.

    • agreed.

      Seth MacFarlane is that smug “dude” in your class/dorm/meeting, just wildly inappropriate and crass. When you ask him to show an iota of respect, he throws his hands up & accuses you of being oversensitive.

      Whatever, bro.

    • I thought SOME of his stuff was funny tonight, particularly when he stuck to references to other movies (like the Sound of Music joke, I about died) instead of insulting people. But I was underwhelmed. And I actually like Family Guy most of the time.

  14. I hoped that maybe Seth MacFarlane’s controversial humor would grow on me, kind of like a mold, because everyone I know thinks he’s hilarious, but all I saw was asshattery. There’s a fine line between self-deprecating and pathetic, and MacFarlane were so far into “gee I’m so sad wink wink” that I’m not sure he could see daylight.

    • reason why i avoided watching this. I CANNOT STAND seth macfarlane. I don’t get why so many people like him either.

  15. I liked the Sound of Music joke. *shrugs*

    Most of Seth MacFarlane’s other jokes, not so much. Of course, I still compare all Oscar hosts to Hugh Jackman. (This has nothing to do with Les Mis — I just think he’s an awesome host. I do want to see Les Mis, but that is separate.)

    I’m glad Quvenzhané Wallis brought her puppy purse. I like that there’s a nine-year-old taking puppy purses to the Oscars.

  16. THIS BLOG IS AMAZING THANKS FOR USING MY FAVE ONION TWEET

    JANE EYRE WAS IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE

    WHY DIDN’T WES ANDERSON WIN

    WHY WAS ADELE THERE

    GOOD NIGHT

  17. Lizz,
    I am currently applying to med school, but the process is so harrowing I’ve stopped hoping to get in so I can become a SCUBA diving instructor in Fiji instead. How are you rocking med school and your Autostraddle duties simultaneously? Props, girl.

  18. 1) Why is nobody commenting on KStew’s dress? She looks amazing.

    2) No, Seth MacFarlane. Everything about the hosting of the Oscars is funny/awesome except you. (Shatner, Gordon-Levitt, Radcliffe, Theron, Sally Field, etc. Although JLaw’s smug smile during the boob song was obnoxious ans kind of slut-shamy.)

    3) Quvenzhané Wallis deserves all the Oscars. “My name’s not Annie. It’s Quvenzhané.” – actual thing she said to an obnoxious reporter (Honorable Mentions: “I can burp like a man now: *tiny burp*” and “I hope you die. And after you do, I’m gonna go to your grave and eat birthday cake all by myself!” and her name.)

    4) I thought Queen Latifah was already out?

    TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE, TRANSPHOBIA:

    5) SLP sounded obnoxious and not particularly representative / kind to my people (those with mental health issues), and also apparently the screenwriter sexually assaulted his underage transgender niece. Ugh. I’m glad it didn’t win anything.

    6) Can we see more of Dan and Joe dancing together? They are so charming, and JGL should definitely be the subject of the next Style Thief. I would be so down for that.

  19. Things I Liked About The Oscars:

    1) Jennifer Lawrence’s reaction to not having her boobs out during Seth’s I saw your boobs song.

    (Also yes the song was sexist and kitsch, but… has no one see Family Guy, American Dad, Cleveland Show??? …nothing’s off limits)

    2) Also Jennifer here: http://youtu.be/iEudonHY40w

    3) The Flight sock pocket skit. I WAS IN TEARS. And I’m Black and was not offended.

    4) I’ve seen Jamie Foxx’s daughter the past several award seasons and she always looks amazing. Last night was no different. Go her.

    5) I fell asleep after they played the Jaws song during the Life Of Pi set design acceptance speech. I laughed my way to sleep.

  20. OMG Quvenzhané Wallis’s purse is probably related to TINKERBELL!!!!

    also this year’s oscars was maybe the most boring show i’ve seen in my entire life besides episode 606 of the l word and episode 102 of the real l word, also because everything seth mcfarlane said was so dumb that i couldn’t even listen to his parts, which left the bulk of the responsibility for entertainment value on sound editing awards and snooze

  21. 1. The sock puppet reenactment of Flight was funnier than most of Seth MacFarlane’s jokes.
    2. Loved seeing Daniel Radcliffe and JGL dance and sing.
    3. Had the same reaction to the Harry Potter music playing while Daniel Radcliffe came out with K-Stew to present. Seriously, give that guy a break–he has talent to surpass the HP franchise.
    4. Adele can do no wrong. Just hearing her speak makes everything better.
    5. Jennifer Lawrence is charming and I’m glad she won.
    6. Daniel Day-Lewis’ acceptance speech was the best.
    7. Ang Lee had the line of the night: “You’re the golden statue in my heart.”

  22. Charlize has that hair alternative lifestyle hair cut because she just finished filming a Mad Max remake. So I heard.

  23. So… KStew looked beautiful as always, but why is nobody commenting on the fact that she limped on and off the stage? Was she injured? I guess you can’t do crutches at the Oscars. I’m glad Lincoln didn’t win much, and genuine story won over political propaganda mostly! Sad the Beasts of the Southern Wild didn’t win anything!

      • Loved that Clooney cracked open that tiny liquor bottle Seth tossed him near the beginning. For the most part, I found Seth very meh. Queen Latifah needs to host next year and all the years because life.

  24. “ScarJo sings? For a movie about climate change and icebergs? How did she get so perfect?”

    She had an album out a few years ago. Apparently she’s a big Tom Waits fan because the whole album was Tom Waits covers. She has a Nico-like voice….very soothing. Yeah, life’s unfair to see someone so attractive who can sing AND act. lol

Comments are closed.