Holy Ammunition! It’s A Bomb Girls Movie Update!

What’s cookin’, Bombshells? If you haven’t chewed your own foot off in anticipation of Bomb Girls: The Movie, then let me give you even more reasons to be terrifyingly excited. There’s been a lot of posts all over BG social media lately, so I’ve decided to round them up into a single article so we can start to make sense of what might be happening on our screens at a soon-to-be-decided date.

Here’s everything we know so far:

1. Gladys’s narrative will be all about learning how be good spy. SPIES! Also new men to canoodle.

this how be good spy: the film event

Featuring SPIES! and DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS.

Gladys’s lady parts still work like a black hole for unsuspecting boy toys. Latest in a long string of men who have been caught in the tractor beam that is Gladys’ Enchanted Womanhood is Jakob, played by Jamie Elman. Jakob escaped the Holocaust in Poland, but not without having to leave his family behind. Now he is helping Gladys learn how to be good spy and being sucked into the magical vortex of doom that is her affection. Will Jakob survive Gladys’ black hole? Given the history, odds ain’t good. Place your bets now!

he's just learning

It’s probably too late for that, honey.

Since Gladys is now initiated into her new role as spy, via Bad Accent No Why and that lady who tried to cop a tampon in the bathroom that one time, she’ll be fighting the good fight and foiling an evil plan that involves sonar equipment. What do we know about sonar equipment? Prior to reading a Wikipedia article five minutes ago, I knew it had something to do with whales, and was upset to find out that this movie will probably not be about Gladys riding Super Spy Whales in Lake Ontario.  Here is an artistic rendering of that plotline:

FUCKHILTER

Pretty much like that.

It’s important to note that Gladys still has the hat collection of an angel, and if I don’t see at least two new hats per scene, I will be very upset.

aw bb angel face

Hat game on point.

2. We don’t know what Lorna’s doing, but we know she is doing it in the dark.

1471296_427104200723966_1924998845_n

Things that could be going on in this picture:

  1. The ghost of Baby Cannoli is speaking to Lorna via possessed candlelight.
  2. Lorna has just set the patriarchy on fire, and is contemplatively observing its demise.

3. Based on one photo alone, I’m 99.9% sure that Kate’s plotline will involve a burlesque routine at some point. Or just singing and taking off her gloves, which is totally fine by me, too. 

bgfreakingout

Yes, you read that right. Also, can we talk about her gorgeous outfit and the fact that Kate looking confident and super hot is the best thing ever? Nobody is ever gonna put baby girl in the corner again because baby girl saves herself!

oprah man is still my hero

For real, though. That card she’s holding says “Dinner?” and I’m willing to bet it came with that rose. Who is her admirer? We are to assume Betty is in jail, right? DID BETTY SECRETLY GET OUT OF JAIL TO LEAVE HER THIS SECRET ADMIRER STUFF?

4. We don’t know what Betty and Vera and Co. are up to, but we guarantee it’s gonna be flippin’ awesome.

No pictures or updates on potential plotlines for Betty and Vera, but maybe that’s because they’re saving the juiciest bits for last.

What do we think of these spoilers? What are you crying the most about right now? Is this fandom the “most likely to cry at everything” fandom? Yes or yes?

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Hard-lovin' butch made of tears, sweat, and spit, in that order. Professional lonesome polecat. Kate is living proof that you can take the hillperson out of the mountains, but she's still probably going to run back to the mountains anyway. Kate prefers the trashy to the classy, and the tender to everything else. Full-time writer, part-time lover. Heart got so big and soggy that she had to cut off all her sleeves.

Kate has written 122 articles for us.

25 Comments

  1. Thumb up 4

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    My girlfriend actually unknowingly witnessed the shooting of some scene in Hamilton. She texted me: “Hey, there are a bunch of camera crews and people dressed in old-style clothing?” “What era?” “I dunno, maybe 1940′s?” “Did they look like Bomb Girls-era clothing?” “Kinda.”

    Turns out it WAS Bomb Girls clothing. Bam.

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      That bit of information makes me want to go be a little bit stalker-y in Hamilton (a phrase that I’m sure has never been said about Hamilton before). Gee whiz, this waiting thing sucks.

      I think I’ll have to go pick up a new olde-tyme skill to help me with the waiting, like whipping up a batch of petit fours. Or making a tray to serve them on. Hmm.

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    Literally, the ONLY problem I had with Bomb Girls was that it was supposed to 1944 and the word “Jew” was never once uttered in 18 episodes. How is it possible that with all the talk about Hitler and Italians, no one ONCE mentioned the Holocaust or Kristallnacht, concentration camps or ghettos? Or, for that matter, Japanese interment camps?

    ANYWAY. My point being, I’m VERY excited about this new character Jakob. I’m glad this show has finally acknowledged that WWII was not just a German land grab, but a genocide.

    Can’t wait to find out more about what Betty is up to!

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      I think it starts a bit earlier than 1944.They deal with the Dieppe raid happening and that was in 1942. So I’m not so sure how well-known the Nazi atrocities were known at that point. So maybe the movie will show the response of people as they become aware of them.

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      I totally agree with you, but maybe the general public was left in the dark about these things. Canadians (or at least the location in the show) seemed to have Italian internment camps, where America/Western America had more Japanese internment? I’m sure this is not 100% accurate and both countries probably had both. Basically, I’m just wondering about how much access to information they actually had? I’m assuming they would tell the general public about all the terrible things going on in Europe as fuel for the patriotism fire… Basically I’m rambling to say I agree with you.

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    great editing photos! but pleae consider not using photos of minke whales kept at waterparks like sea world. Keeping those animals in captivity and forcing them to perform for tourists is incredibly abusive and cruel and leads to depression and other behavioural issues. Im sure you never meant to, but I think using those kind of photos can normalise animal abuse and make it seem like harmless fun.

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    Yooooo, can that Bob comment warrant a trigger warning at least? That joke is messed up on so many levels. Domestic violence, abuse of disabled people, making light of actual people who were burned to death in Europe at that time? Just made me really uneasy.

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      hey! thanks for your legit commentary. i’m actually going to go ahead and change the joke entirely because that was definitely a case when hyperbole went too far. this is a great fandom because we’re small enough to keep each other in check and i appreciate the callout! sincere apologies to anyone who was upset by this, and a promise that you won’t have to see similar stuff in the future.

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