Why hello there and welcome to the hour a week we suspend disbelief and go on a campy little ride through a town in Pennsylvania where no one ever tells the truth or wears a coat! Let’s jump right in, shall we?
Ali has been unable to get out of bed since she found out her mother is dead. She needs some intense self-care. I’d recommend journaling but you know that shit would turn bad fast once A got ahold of it.
While Ali gets ready for Mrs. D’s funeral, the other girls wait downstairs.
Jason and Mr. D argue about police and reporters. So this seems to be going well.
Ali comes downstairs in the same dress her mother wore to her funeral and oh gosh, Mr. D flies off the handle.
Emily thinks that Ali wearing the dress is just a coincidence but Spencer seems to be right on the money by suggesting that Ali knew what she was doing.
I’m with Spence. Alison knows everything that she does. She’s the most calculating person on the show, hands down.
After the funeral, the Liars are at school, being lectured by the principal. He’s telling them that he’s trying to keep the press away, but that they have to stay out of the public eye. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha ahhhhh, jokes. That’s cute he thinks that will happen.
The Liars discuss how to get the word out that Ali wasn’t kidnapped, but they need to know that Ezra or Mona won’t say anything first.
Right on cue, Mona shows up with a Get Well card for Aria to sign for Mr. Fitz. Pssh. Aria learns from Mona that Ezra is back in Rosewood. You know, without telling her. That’s cool, bro.
Elsewhere in those hallowed hallways, Paige and Emily run into one another while Emily is being stalked by a super creepy girl. GIRL PROBS amirite? Basically nothing is worse than running into your ex in a public space where you can’t run away. Paige is definitely still holding a torch for Em, but it doesn’t seem like the feeling is mutual. And can you blame them? My money is on Emily and Alison hooking up this season. Turns out the creepy stalker girl is actually just Emily’s number one fan like, ever, and wants Emily to coach her.
Later that night, Melissa finds Spencer watching the DiLaurentis’ house out of her window. Neither of them trusts the other one, that’s for sure. But it’s clear that Melissa really wants to tell Spencer what is going on. She tells Spence not to trust any of the
DiLaurentis…es. DiLaurenti. DiLaurentiss. She tells them not to trust any of those people.
Hanna goes with Ali to the funeral home to pick up the guest book from Mrs. D’s viewing. Ali sees a painting and leaves the room, which is super weird? The funeral director mistakes Hanna for Ali, and Ali makes a snarky remark about how it used to be easier to tell the two of them apart.
We get a lot of flashbacks with Mona in this episode, where we realize that Mona turned Hanna into Ali. She makes Hanna wear Ali’s clothes, lose weight, dye her hair… It’s creepy to watch, honestly, but also in a way, you can tell exactly what bonded them together. It’s almost sad to watch them get so close and have it only be one of Mona’s games.
Oh sorry were you having an emotional moment? Let’s have a strange one, instead!
Mr. Hastings wants to sell the house! Spencer is obviously annoyed by this idea, because then how would she stare out her window at Alison’s window all night long?
Aria goes to see Fitz under the guise of giving him the Get Well card. She hints around the idea that she’s worried he’ll tell on Alison, but he seems pretty tight-lipped. Honestly, this is the guy who kept a preeeeetty big secret for years, so. He’s now worried that Shana is still on the hunt for them, and Aria’s like “Oh yeah… about that… uhhhhh….” but doesn’t say anything. A less than thrilling meeting.