NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday: Breasts & Stone Dildos

In celebration of Autostraddle’s First Ever BRA ISSUE, this NSFW Sunday is dedicated to the glory known as “your breasts.”

Let’s get started with a giant gallery of girls in bras and bra-like contraptions that we made for you:

 

 

 

Real Breasts: Sometimes the media can be very confusing because chances are good that your breasts don’t look like the breasts of the girls on tumblr or the girls in those photos. That’s the spirit in which the Normal Breast Gallery was hatched.  It’s pages and pages of breasts from women who’ve been pregnant or haven’t been pregnant, of all ages, ethnicities, life stories, etc:

A huge proportion of American women are not happy with their breasts. The media images make them believe the ideal is big and perky breasts with a small nipple and areola.

But, in reality female breasts come in all kinds of sizes and shapes. These breast pictures are here to let you see normal breasts – big, small, sagging, asymmetrical; big areolas or nipples.

I don’t know why but it’s totally addictive.

Gift: Get chocolate body paint and spread it on your girlfriend’s nipples and then eat it.

Tumblrs: What we have here at Girls in Underwear is some girls in underwear. Similarly, features girls in lingerie.

Dubious ScienceResearch suggests that men who look at women’s breasts a lot are healthier than other men. So let’s imagine that also applies to women, you’re all very healthy today.

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Autostraddle Anonymous Sex Toy Review #4:

Loving Glass, Definitely Not Throwing the Stone

It’s our very fourth Autostraddle Anonymous Sex Toy Review! Over the last 2-3 years, we’ve been propositioned frequently by sex toy companies wondering if we’d like to review their toy in exchange for, you know, their toys. In 2011, in addition to “saying yes to the dress” we are saying YES to the sex toys!

In honour of Earth Day, let’s take a look at a couple of eco-friendly dildo options from Babeland: the Octopussy and the Laid Stone.

The Octopussy

Description:Whether you’ve got a thing for sea creatures or you just love the wonderful sensations of textured glass, the Octopussy Dildo is waiting for you. Two rows of smoothly textured nubs run along the shaft for extra sensation during penetration; the looped handle makes the Octopussy easy to hold and maneuver (perfect for G-spot stimulation). And of course, boilable Pyrex holds temperature beautifully — pop it in the fridge or a bowl of warm water, then add some lube and enjoy unparalleled slickness. Put this compact, weighty wonder to good use, and your deep-sea adventures are sure to yield some very pleasurable results.

Review: The Octopussy looks almost exactly like an octopus tentacle, which has irrevocably changed the way I feel about sea life in general. It’s not overly large or heavy, and that, coupled with its pink tint, makes the Octopussy pretty friendly-looking.

The tip of this toy is upturned, so getting to your G-spot is not a problem. Not at all.

The absolute best part of this dildo is the loopy finger grip at the end. Every dildo should have a loopy finger grip at the end! Whether you’re using the Octopussy alone or with a partner, that nifty little handle makes it almost effortless. Also clean-up is as easy as soap and water!

The Laid Stone Dildo

Description:Imagine the smooth, heavy sensation of glimmering, polished black Norwegian Moonstone against your G-spot: that’s the Laid Stone Dildo. This hand-held, perfectly weighted and stunning dildo is contoured on one end to hit the G-spot with just the right angle, crafted with your anatomy in mind. The other end, meanwhile, is narrower for a different penetrative feel. Place it in a bowl of warm or cool water to change its temperature. Makes a one-of-a-kind gift, and it’s great for couples; you’ll never again complain that your hand’s too tired to keep going. Brought to you by Laid, a new sex toy design company from Norway whose toys are at the cutting edge of form and pleasure.

Review: I don’t know what Norwegian Moonstone is, but I can say that this toy is not for the faint of heart. You know the brooding, mysterious, drop-dead sexy beast who’s been giving you fuck-me eyes all night but hasn’t said a word? That’s the Laid Stone dildo.

It’s dark coloured, heavy and slick, and there’s something mildly-to-extremely intimidating about it, but in a good way.

I don’t know, it’s just fucking sexy.

The Laid Stone starts out on the cool side, temperature-wise, but warms up after a bit. It’s a little more fun to use with a partner and, as the giver, both ends fit comfortably in your hand. Because of its weight, there’s really no fear of the toy slipping out of either your partner or your grip.

I would still recommend the Laid Stone for solo use. Bonus: any future partners will instantly know what’s up when they see this baby in your nightstand.

Babeland is donating 10% of eco-friendly toy sales in April to Grist, an online magazine that’s been called “The Daily Show of the environment,” and I know how much you like The Daily Show.

Avatar of Party In My Pants

Party in my Pants is a username employed by various Autostraddle team members at various times for various reasons.

has written 78 articles for us.

51 Comments

  1. Thumb up 0

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    “I don’t know why but it’s totally addictive.”

    Autostraddle, I won’t accuse you of lying to me very often, but I call bullshit on the “I don’t know why” part.

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    That normal boob site IS addicting! I want to post it to my FB bcz I think lots of women could benefit from seeing the range of “normal” presented, but perhaps the boob site is going a little far for FB…hrm…?

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    Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the pics of ladies in bras.

    On a totally separate note, the octopussy looks like something that would be up my alley. The laid stone dildo looks like something that belongs in a toilet in that picture. Maybe it looks different in real life, we can only hope.

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    breasts are cool, but CAN I JUST SAY this was also a damn fine gallery of stomachs (I have a thing… normal? no? I’m waiting for the day a girl will become indignant and yell “my breasts are up here!”)
    I would totally support a nsfw lesbosexystomachs edition

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    2 pictures of Sarah Croce scantily clad in the same day?! Gosh Autostraddle, you’re spoiling me. I’m not a pervert – I swear – I just look at her eyes…

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    there doesn’t seem to be a way to make the stone one not cold? I don’t think I’ll be having either of dildos on todays menu, thanks, but the curvy grippy thing on the octopussy looks like a very good idea!

    the breasts gallery was total win! also sometimes breasts/areolas aren’t the same size, but I mean, everyone knows we dykes love asymmetry anyways.

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      The description suggests you could heat it in a bowl of warm water. Maybe you could also lay it in the sunshine or heat it by the fireside. That could be sexy…right?

      (though, tbh, it looks huge and hard and very intimidating to me)

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        I blame the breast gallery being open at the same time as my reading the dildo reviews. I remember getting good grades in ERB reading comprehensions!

        heating it by the fireside next to your bearskin rug…you’d have to have pipes and leather chairs and tweed, maybe if you had a theme, it could fit in…and then it wouldn’t seem so big and scary and it’d find a home.

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    That picture of Maggie Gyllenhaal autostraddling just made the site NSFW all over again…HOLLER! but Naya Rivera in Maxim and I didn’t know!!!!!?????!…I might have to rethink this atheist thing…or not. but EXCITEMENT!

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    That normal breast gallery was a blessing to see. I always assumed that breasts looked a certain way for certain reasons. Well when you assume you make an Ass out of U and Me as the saying goes. And I’ve always felt self conscious because I was 115 pounds when I had my first child, obviously boobless and now after two kids well things are different. So nice to see so many women who have never had kids look like I do now or worse. Puts things in perspective. So the short of it, thanks for the perspective. I’m grateful for what I’ve got and who likes ‘em. ;)

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