High Femme: Today Is The Day We Learn To Make Tampon Pipes

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Calling all Homoganjas! Let’s talk about anything and everything marijuana related, from legalization to pop culture to how to make your own bong using a box of Diva cups and a broken lamp. Whether you’re a newbie who doesn’t know a blunt from a joint, or you’re planning your gay dream wedding to Mary Jane, this column is for you. Puff, Puff, Pass.

Header by Rory Midhani

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Homoganjas, I’ve been wanting to dive into the world of DIY pipes and bongs for a while now. But it’s intimidating! There seems be an endless list of things that people can convert into smoking devices. Apples, soda bottles, Pringles cans, Grandma. I honestly didn’t know where to start.

Another obstacle is the fact that I’m not the craftiest girl to begin with. I mean, who wants to learn how to make pipes from a girl who regularly embroiders her own clothes into her designs? I have problems, y’all. So I figured, why not make this a series within a series? So welcome to the first installment of:

There’s A Pipe For That!

Every month/when I remember, I’ll be creating some smoke devices based on different themes. You can even take these themes and apply them to themed smoke hangouts and parties! This is just another step in my master plan to create IRL queer smoke circles all across the world. So grab your toolkit/your kit and caboodle/a box of canoodles and let’s make some shit!

Our first theme is: “Crimson Cloud: Smoking While Menstruating!”

Today we’re gonna make two different kinds of pipes for that time of the month! Marijuana is a great way to alleviate any symptoms, from abdominal cramps to uncontrollable rage. Our first project is a genius combination of candy and weed:

The Starburst Pipe

So you’ve got a serious case of sweet tooth but you still wanna get high? Get ready to fall in love with the Starburst pipe! This device is fruity and hilarious, just like you.

1) All you’ll need a pack of Starburst and a type of skewer.

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2) Unwrap the pieces and stack them together. Press down so they stick.

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3) Take a wooden or metal skewer (or a similar sized tool) and create a lengthwise hole 2/3 of the way through the candy stack.

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4) Make rounded hole on the side of the candy stack. This will be your bowl.

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5) That’s it! Pack your bowl and you’re ready to go. You can also add a hole on the other side if you want a carb. And the best part: you can eat it when you are done! Although I would advise using a mesh screen or rinsing out the residue before eating, but you do you.

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The TampPipe

Sometimes, all you have in your pocket is a dime bag and a tampon. This pipe is for you. This will also be part of a larger series wherein I turn feminine hygiene products into smoking devices. Stay tuned for my Summer’s Eve Douche Gravity Bong, where I use a coconut Luna bar as a filter.

1) All you need for this pipe is an old school cardboard tampon, a tiny piece of tinfoil, and a needle. Simple enough, right? Well, I went to two different drug stores and could not find a tampon with a cardboard applicator! Everyone’s all about the Pearl now, I guess, which is great for vaginas but so much for this girl.

Luckily, I found a plastic applicator that looks like the cardboard one.

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2) Press the plunger and remove the cotton tampon. If I were really crafty, I’d say glue some googly eyes on the tampon and make a ghost, but it’s November and ain’t nobody got time for that.

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3) Remove the base of the applicator and you should be left with what looks like a cardboard flower.

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4) Wrap the flower in tinfoil and poke a small hole in the foil. You just made your bowl!

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5) Look that one-hitter up and smoke away! Enjoy the only time on Earth when it’s acceptable to say the following phrase:

“Hey girl, wanna share a tampon?”

You know what? Maybe don’t use that phrase. Ever.

So what about you, homoganjas? Got any favorite homemade pipes? Any themes you’d like to see celebrated in smoke art form? Share below!

Avatar of Chelsea

Chelsea was born and raised in New Orleans, which explains her affinity for cheesy grits and Britney Spears. She currently resides in sunny Los Angeles, where she works as a screenwriter/blogger/pop culture geek. She’s obsessed with dachshunds, the Whedonverse, 90's dance parties, and roller derby. She loves the word "Jewess" and wishes more people used it to describe her. Follow her ramblings on Twitter why don't you?

Chelsea has written 32 articles for us.

24 Comments

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    In college we use to make gravity bongs, i.e. 2 liter bottle cut, with a hole and tinfoil in the cap to use in a bucket filled with water. It was an effective waste as you took in a lot of smoke, but then also exhaled at of good stuff(unless you were able to do it in a room where clam baking was possible).

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    I have so many questions about the starburst pipe. Does the sugar caramelize? Does it make the smoke taste sweeter? If you use just one flavor will it taste like cherry/strawberry/orange/lemon? Can you do this with tootsie rolls? THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.

    Also not gonna lie, I’d be terrified of melting the plastic on that tampon one-hitter. Maybe I’m boring, but DIY pipes don’t particularly appeal to me cos I can roll j’s better than a rolling machine. But I can’t wait to see what you make a pipe out of next week!

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    “Press the plunger and remove the cotton tampon. If I were really crafty, I’d say glue some googly eyes on the tampon and make a ghost, but it’s November and ain’t nobody got time for that.”

    If I am making a pipe out of a tampon, chances are that I have time for that. Chances are that I pop out all of the tampons in the box and make a flock (herd/school/murder?) of ghosts that have reality show style beef with each other. Why does Cottanya think she’s better than everyone, anyway? As soon as she realized she was super, girl changed.

    Chances are that I do none of that, sit here high as hell, enjoying my strange fantasy world, and inflicting it on the internet.

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    The starburst one reminds me of my first date a year ago with my now-girlfriend. I was so nervous, but she came with a pipe made out of candy : D

    The tampon pipe is amazingly ingenious. I think a lot of us have been in the situation where we didn’t have a smoking apparatus…but when there’s a female, there’s probably a tampon

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    Apples everything! It was my first smoking device when I was sneaking hits when I still lived with my parents. Loved joints but the paper burning always left a stronger after smell than apples or a bong.

    I don’t really trust the aluminum bowl or the plastic tampon, doesn’t seem really safe but then again we’ve all smoked out of a 4loko can on top of a roof once in our lives.

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