Faking It Episode 103 Recap: The Protestiest Protestor Who Ever Protested

Welcome to the third recap of the first season of Faking It, a shiny and gorgeous new show from the network that brought you The Battle for Ozzfest and Engaged & Underaged.


We open on a bright, glorious spring day at The Blue Oasis in the Middle of Red Texas High School, where students are lounging on afghan quilts with apples and notebooks and Amy is throwing M’n’Ms at Karma’s head as Karma writes in her notebook. This is similar to what I’d like to do to Karma’s head, except instead of tiny chocolate candies it would be rotten avocados with bombs inside them.

Don't for

Dear Canada, I am writing in regards to the cancellation of your television program “Bomb Girls.”

So: Karma’s a musician and Amy’s her BIGGEST FAN and Amy wants to see what Karma’s working on! But Karma insists it’s not done.

Amy: “Since when do you share songs with me when they’re ready? You’re JT and I’m Timbaland, we workshop them until it’s dope and then we play them. For your cats.”
Karma: “This one’s different. It’s personal, I’m baring my soul so I want it to be perfect.”
Amy: “Ooo is it a power ballad?”

Karma says nope, thus dashing my dreams of a Meatloafy situation, but promises Amy will be the first to hear her opus when it’s done — and as Karma delivers this news, she crawls suggestively towards Amy and kisses her, like in a real girlfriendy way, and mid-kiss… snaps a photo for instagram.

#nofliter

#blessed

“Since we came out, I’ve gotten over 400 new followers, including a Mister Liam Booker. Everything’s going according to plan,” says Karma. Amy’s like, how is being in a lesbian relationship part of a good plan to seduce a douchebag? Karma explains that ’cause Liam is afraid of commitment, her lesbian relationship status will snag his love while his defenses are down.

Amy: “You don’t get someone to fall in love with you, they fall in love with you because of who you are.”
Karma: “Yeah, well, I’ve been me for 15 years and no one’s falling for me. Except for you!”
Amy: “Very funny.”
Karma: “I’m just having fun, Amy! I’m popular, I have a secret boyfriend, I get to hold my best friend’s hand in public…”

Karma says she’s worried that Amy, lacking a deceptively handsome reptilian smoke monster crabapple loch ness secret boyfriend creature of her own, isn’t getting much out of this arrangement. Amy insists that horrifying her parents is a “gift that keeps on giving,” but then, in an apparent effort to really sell it, adds, “maybe I need a secret boyfriend too.” Jesus LADIES YOU ARE NOT HELPING THE CAUSE.

No, I SWEAR I like boys!

No, I SWEAR I like boys!

Karma suggests this guy Josh Hoyt, who Amy was apparently obsessed with in middle school, which is a time in the male lifecycle when he either resembles an actual swamp monster OR a tomboy lesbian. What luck — Josh is coming their way right this minute, dressed up like a Newsie, ready to really DAMN THE MAN.

Amy: “Not another fucking protest.”

Crap looks like those rascally volunteers from Pioneer Village got loose again

Crap looks like those ambitious volunteers from Pioneer Village got loose again


Amy and Karma dash inside to discover an assemblage of young idealists chanting “HEY HEY HO HO BIG BROTHER HAS GOT TO GO.” What’s the cause of this protest? Liam explains: Sporkle (heretofore referred to as “Fake Google”) wants to donate $6 million dollars to Hester High! “Wow, sounds awful,” Amy says, echoing my own thoughts and feelings.

No, this is as far as my mouth opens. Gimme a junior mint now, buster

No, this is as far as my mouth opens. Gimme a junior mint now, buster

Principle Penelope Deliah Fisher explains that although, as a Berkeley graduate, she’s SUPER INTO protests as a rule, perhaps the children should care that her budget’s been slashed into tiny pieces by the government and Fake Google is their only hope for survival. The Fake Google Rep explains all students will receive a Fake Google Smartphone and Tablets! HOW AWFUL.

Liam: “What do you get out of this?”
Fake Google Girl: “The satisfaction of helping a school in desperate need of money. Also Sporkle will own all data collected on these devices.”

Okay, who here has read "The Handmaid's Tale"

Okay, who here has seen “Battle Royale”

Karma seizes the opportunity to leap onto the nearest surface to scream loudly about privacy and becoming “digital slaves.” Hey Karma you could just sell the tablet on The Bay, it’s not like you have to throw out your old phone. Anyhow, Liam commands them to take their battle stations and “Occupy Hester,” which um, isn’t really how Occupy works? But who cares! It’s The Blue Oasis! It’s like The Hotel California, except that you have to stay checked in forever and wear knickers.

Pulitzer and Hearst , they think they got us. Do they got us?

Pulitzer and Hearst , they think we’re nothin’! ARE WE NOTHIN’?

NO!

NO!

Pulitzer and Hearst, they think they got us! Do they got us?

Pulitzer and Hearst, they think they got us! Do they got us?

NO!

NO!

Amy’s so over it she needs a new word for “over,” and is also confused about Karma’s sudden transformation into Norma Rae, but Karma explains that since Liam gets a hard-on for politics, obvs she’s gonna be the “protestiest protestor who ever protested.” Besides, Karma cajoles, this political uprising would be a great opportunity for Amy to get intimate with Josh, aka the Joshiest Josher who Ever Joshed. Amy picks up a bullhorn and says, “Down with corporate tyranny!” and Josh gives her an affectionate eye. Hey Hey. Ho Ho. Please no.

Who here would settle for a subscription to USA Today?

Is anybody interested in a discounted subscription to USA Today?


Over in the cafeteria, Lauren & The Ls are lamenting the ludicrousness of this week’s political cause as Karma delivers art supplies to Liam for “sign-making,” because why anything.

You stole all of those knives just for me?

You stole all of those knives just for me?

All the better to stab you in the eyeball with, my pretty

All the better for the internet to stab you in the eyeball with, my pretty

Liam tells Karma he liked her “fire” back there and thinks she’s a natural leader. Also, he’s got a special too-tiny t-shirt for her in his buttcrack! But before this romance can get even romancier, Shane shows up with Liam’s protest buddy Soleil, who has permanent sex-face and is super cool you guys. She’s actually too cool for school — when Karma wonders aloud why she’s never seen Soleil on campus, Soleil explains that most of her courses are independent studies for the “various community outreach programs” she’s involved in. “I’m a lesbian!” Karma offers. Mhm. Haven’t seen you volunteering for The Trevor Project, LIAR

CAPTION

Shane I know this sounds gross and incesty but I can’t shake the feeling that this girl is the long-lost lovechild of Blossom and Joey Russo

The two political forces venture off to start a revolution in their beds as Karma and Shane look on:

Shane: “And the promance continues.”
Karma: “Promance?”
Shane: “Protest romance. Every time we shut the school down the sexual tension just builds like Mount Vesuvius until finally — eruption.” [pause.] “Eruption equals sex.”
Karma: “Yeah, I got that.”


Outside on the grassy knoll, Joshy Josh and his band of merry men & womyn are dancing to a small old-timey hand-held instrument as Amy reconsiders her plan to speak to this human.

And you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around

And you do the hokey pokey and you lower yourself gradually into downward-facing dog

Luckily, a dude named Oliver shows up with a bunch of toilet paper and a heart full of hatred and cynicism. HUZZAH!

Oliver: “Figured you’d be more into this kind of thing, being Homecoming Queen and all.”
Amy: “No, this is more my girlfriend’s kind of thing. She gets involved in school activities, I stand back and silently hate them.”

Ahhh, you're a 2-ply girl. I can appreciate that.

Ahhh, you’re a 2-ply girl. I can appreciate that.

Hark! Karma’s chaining herself to a door because that’s her plan to stop Soleil’s sex volcano from erupting. Amy says she just met a boy named Oliver and she “doesn’t wanna poke his eyes out with scissors,” which both girls agree is totally huge and makes him potential secret boyfriend material.

Oh hey, yeah, it's from my new line, Chainz by Carma

Oh hey, yeah, it’s from my new line, Chainz by Carma for Urban Outfitters

Hark! Liam needs Karma to unchain herself from the door so Soleil can wheel in her boxes of warm moist vegan muffins. So Karma picks up the bullhorn and declares a hunger strike. Oliver and Amy peace out.

So, this is awkward but

So, this is awkward but I’d actually asked for my lifetime supply of pink bondage rope to be shipped to my house?

Principal Penelope Deliah Fisher makes her way through the crowd of naive protesters, begging them to “please think about what we could do with this money! Electric schoolbusses, an organic farm to table cafeteria, we could recycle our waste into clean drinking water!” but obviously these kids are not concerned with trivial things like REALITY. They are young lezzie-loving idealists swimming in the sweet Blue Oasis of their tender blood and tears!

Go Penelope, it's your birthday

Go Penelope, it’s your birthday


Liam tells Karma that her hunger strike idea was brill, ’cause it got him and his fellow idiots a TON of press, and now he wants to kiss her right on the mouth! But before he can, Shane and Soleil show up with bad news: low blood sugar is taking its toll on the kids and they’re breaking into the vending machines.

CAPTION

But have they gotten desperate enough to eat the Lifesavers that have been sitting there since 1979? That’s the question.

HOW WILL THEY KEEP SPIRITS HIGH?

WITH AN OPEN MIKE!

Mmk.


Then Oliver brings Amy to his secret lair where he can access the feed from every security camera in the school! It’s like this show is deliberately making it impossible for me to go an entire recap without a Pretty Little Liars reference.

No I swear this is just for this supernatural high school crime thriller I'm writing

No I swear this is all just for this supernatural high school crime thriller I’m writing

Well for the record I don't even own a red coat, so

Well for the record I don’t even own a red coat, so

Amy: “You do realize the irony of spying on students protesting the invasion of student privacy, right?”
Oliver: “I do! I’m glad you do too. I’d like to think of this as anthropological research. I watch students in their national habitat because I don’t understand them even though I’m supposed to be one. I’m weird. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
Amy: “No, it’s cool. I can relate.”

You guys, I also don’t want to stick scissors in Oliver’s eyes! Ugh, he’s such a male lesbian. Why is this show determined to trot out every trope I normally hate and make it so hard to hate.


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Riese is the 33-year-old CEO, CFO and Editor-in-Chief of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York City, and now lives in The Bay Area. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are!

Riese has written 1781 articles for us.

51 Comments

  1. Thumb up 8

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    I am sooooooo glad Karma got to see what a total piece of shit Liam really is. I mean, it’s building. And it’s good that the show is actually showing how dumb Karma is, even if the girls were both straight (which they’re not) and weren’t pretending to be in a relationship, Karma is still acting like a terrible friend.

    I also didn’t want to stick scissors in Oliver’s eyes! I’d be on board if he became Amy’s lesbro but not okay if it’s another cliche trope about straight guy falls for lesbian and we’re supposed to feel bad for him.

    (p.s. I obsessed over boys when I was in Jr high, but that doesn’t mean I had crushes on them. Big. Semantic. Difference.)

    • Thumb up 8

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      yeah i OBSESSED over boys in junior high but it tended to involve a lot of policing of who my BFFs were dating, and vice versa. now we’re all gay, so that whole period of time is very confusing to me in retrospect.

      ugh oliver would be the best lesbro. i hope he sticks around just to be a bro, but i feel like he served his purpose and now might be gone. but who knows, this show continues surprising me, so!

      • Thumb up 3

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        My obsession with guys was a desperate attempt to fall in-line with coded femininity and since I failed to look like a proper feminine girl, I compensated socially by obsessing over how I could get a guy to express interest in me (but I couldn’t give a shit about actually wanting to kiss him or anything, ew).

        Ugggggghhhhhhhhh how did it take me till adulthood to figure out why I never felt compelled to kiss boys why why why

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          This!!! I was fat in school – still am actually – and I said I had crushes on guys to fit in and I sorta did (hence why I thought I was bi at one point) but thankfully with the fat thing they were never interested back (a couple of guys faked interest for a joke but I wasn’t bothered – didn’t realise why then) and I always thought kissing them would be weird. Then I got close to my best girl friend and we became a thing and it slowly dawned on me (bi thinking included) that I was gay.

  2. Thumb up 7

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    Ugh it is hilarious/painful how much this show reminds me of my freshman year of college.

    Also, this line is perfect and explains a lot of things about my life: “middle school, a time in the male lifecycle when he either resembles an actual swamp monster OR a tomboy lesbian.”

    • Thumb up 14

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      maybe my ears just weren’t accustomed to hearing the word “eyewash” because IS THAT AN ACTUAL WORD and can i get one in my bathroom for when i get shampoo in my eyeballs

  3. Thumb up 13

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    My feelings about this show are basically, Amy’s face breaks my heart and Karma is an idiot. (But I’m really glad the show is calling Karma out on being an idiot!)

    Shane’s lines about bisexuals were stereotype-perpetuating bullshit, though. And the fact that there are almost no POC is baffling. But other than that, I’m so here for this. Mostly because of Rita Volk’s face and general everything.

    Oh, also, I love that they use the fuck word but bleep it out. (Don’t know if that just happens for me because I’m watching the stream on MTV.com or what, but it amuses me.)

  4. Thumb up 6

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    Can I just say that I love you and your Newsies references and your Rent references and your hilarity. Because I literally laughed out loud reading this.
    And yes me too– so much about this show reminds me of my high school days, except that I still took another 5 years to figure out I loved my best friends a lot more than other girls loved their best friends.
    I did really hate the ignorant comment about dating bisexuals, but hopefully they will stop with that.
    And I don’t know how they make me not hate every trop they trot out, but they manage it and I kind of love it.

  5. Thumb up 4

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    I have not seen the show, just your recap, but your recap makes me think that my reaction to seeing this episode would be “Aaaahhhh die forever!” Biphobia and tired stereotypes about protesters all in one go? I might start throwing things at the TV. Or start arguing out loud with the writers the way that I do with certain episodes of The West Wing.

    Y’all seem to like the show, though, so I guess there are some hidden depths there!

    • Thumb up 10

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      I don’t think it’s “tired stereotypes” about protestors, i think it’s “tired stereotypes” about idealistic privileged liberal high school students who protest things without really understanding the situation… which I can relate to as well!

  6. Thumb up 1

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    The musical references just make my theatre geek heart flutter! Might have started shouting “no!” when I was reading the Newsies caption. But anyway.
    Rita Volk and Amy are the new loves of my life, so I now will probably follow this show anywhere it leads as long as she is here delivering heartbreaking face and adorableness.

  7. Thumb up 15

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    This show is ridiculous. I think I might be in love.

    It’s trope-y, it’s flat out playing with stereotypes, but messing with them in such a self-aware way that it’s hard to yell “OFFENSIVE!”. Instead I’m going, “OFFENSIVE, but hilarious because you’re aware those lines are offensive but you’re showing why they’re offensive instead of just being offensive for the sake of being offensive or because you’re ignorant. I think.”

    And also it came off a bit less biphobic to me and more Shane’s issues of insecurity, that is, the problem with dating bisexuals is you feel insecure because we are all little insecure people with wild and self-demeaning imaginations not because bisexuals CAUSE insecurity through their philandering. Also also, so far Karma is straight, and so that line falls flat w/r/t her – she’s not being a mess and causing pain because she’s bisexual, but because she’s just incredibly blind to how much Amy adores her. Obviously, the show could avoid offhand statements like that and not be potentially gross, but also in context, it’s not that bad? And also, the showrunners are aware and seem to be heading in the direction of addressing these issues, at least they’re responding to accusations on Twitter semi-not-defensively, which is better than pretending they didn’t see the remarks calling them out.

    Also every single episode has shown those two adorable faces kissing and it just makes me so happy to actually have that to look at? And it’s sort of mainstream because MTV? And the fact that they’re just KISSING all the time and it’s HAPPY? Happy kissing lesbians? Hard to hate.

    TLDR; I thought I would hate this show because FAKE LESBIANS HAHAHA WHAT A GREAT PREMISE but actually I hate it so much because it’s killing me because it’s kind of fabulous.

  8. Thumb up 9

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    I really hope they eventually have an actual bisexual character on this show so they can talk about how people create their own insecurities when around bisexuals.

    Also I laughed when Amy licks her teeth in the preview for next week. It reminds me of how little I knew about how to be sexy when faced with a pretty girl.

  9. Thumb up 4

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    God I really like this show! And I think that that’s why Shane’s comments about bisexuals bummed me out so much.. I hope they adress this issue eventually, maybe adding a bi character?

    And my crush on Amy/Amy’s face is already getting out of control. After just 3 episodes.(ok jk it took like 5 minutes)

  10. Thumb up 10

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    I was pleasantly surprised that it only took three episodes before Amy admitted that she and Karma aren’t actually dating and that she might actually be attracted to girls. I was fully expecting it to be dragged out for however many more episodes there are supposed to be in this season.

    I’m also pleasantly surprised that they’ve shown Amy and Karma not only kissing in every episode, but kissing for longer than two seconds. The one at the beginning of the episode gave me serious Spashley flashbacks, before Karma whipped out her phone of course.

  11. Thumb up 10

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    “I don’t mean to be rude but do you think it’s possible that maybe the reason you felt so insecure dating a bi guy was because he was so insulted by you thinking he was going to leave you for a girl all the time that he never really figured out how to open up to you and trust you and be real?”

    Yes Autostraddle :p You win.

  12. Thumb up 5

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    I officially have 5 friends that owe me $20 each. Before the show even aired I bet that there would be at least one shot at bisexual people within the first 3 episodes. Just made it!

    Also, did the bisexual community get together and do a drive-by on everybody? Everywhere I turn they’re getting crapped on from people of varying genders and sexualities. Let them live for Christs sake.

    I’m not doing anything today so if anyone needs a hug to heal their wounds, I’m over here

  13. Thumb up 4

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    “I don’t mean to be rude but do you think it’s possible that maybe the reason you felt so insecure dating a bi guy was because he was so insulted by you thinking he was going to leave you for a girl all the time that he never really figured out how to open up to you and trust you and be real?”

    <<< THIS

  14. Thumb up 4

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    “Mooo with me!” Loved the Rent reference!!
    Also, this show is really tearing me up at times.
    You know,we have been bitching about lesbian/queer/bi/youknowwhatImean representation forever.
    No leading characters, no real storylines.
    When and if we were represented it was about the old Lesbian pregancy trope,or the character’d end up dead or killing people or both.
    But this show,this show is getting something right.
    It’s the queer stereotype, that we joke about with a heavy heart.
    Falling for your best friend.
    Not knowing where love starts and friendship ends.
    And it’s so well done despite the absurdity of satire, that this show often slips into.
    My heart really fluttered for Amy when Karma kissed her, and it hurt,and it beat with hope,despite knowing, that it can’t be.
    And it ached for my younger self like a bitch.

  15. Thumb up 5

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    “Here’s the thing: Sometimes I look back on high school and think, was it normal for me to care so much about who my female friends were dating, or was that a sign of latent lesbianism? It doesn’t help that so many of my best friends in middle school also turned out to be bi or gay. So I’m not sure if I’m actually 100% familiar with The Proper Way To Feel About Your Female Friends Dating Asshats, but I endeavor to suggest that even if Amy was 100% straight and had zero interest in Karma, she still has a case for being really fucking furious about this situation.”

    This episode made me feel so many high school feelings, because same same same. Even if I was not romantically interested in my female friends (to my knowledge, but I was extremely repressed in high school so who knows), as high school wore on and we got into college, it became abundantly clear that they didn’t value our time together like I did, and I took it very personally. Was I being the delusional asshat with the “creepy” sexuality who was the only BFF in the world begrudging her friend of the time she spent with dudes? BUT KARMA SAID SHE’D SING THE SONG TO AMY FIRST AND THEN SHE DIDN’T, and then Karma didn’t understand why it was such a big deal and ugh, don’t even touch me.

  16. Thumb up 1

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    There is no part of me that is proud to have seen all 3 episodes of this show. Never the less, I am very excited about the possibilities of seeing what happens when Amy actually deals with liking girls. It might all crash and burn–MTV, amirite?–but I’m still holding out for something not so terrible? Low bar.

  17. Thumb up 2

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    All I have to say is damn, Amy in those suspenders. Yes, thank you. The costume designer also does the clothes for Pretty Little Liars, which explains why I want to steal all the outfits from this show. Also, I’m pretty sure she’s gay, so that’s cool…

  18. Thumb up 4

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    This show, with all of its flaws and shortcomings, is so important to me. As someone who is still in high school and who has very recently gone through what Amy is in the process of going through on the show, it’s amazing for me to see that kind of story being told on a channel like MTV. I see myself in a lot of how she feels and what she does, and I relate to her in a way that I have never before with any other character, gay or otherwise, I’ve yet encountered.

    When I heard about the show, I was rolling my eyes about the premise of two straight girls pretending to be lesbians to attract hot guys and popularity. But, once I saw autostraddle had given the show its blessing, I decided to give it a chance and check it out; and I could not have been more pleasantly surprised.

    I love your recaps, Riese, as always.

    Side note: I used to live in Texas and, while I’ve never set foot in Austin, I feel like Shane wears way too many sweaters/scarves not to sweat like fucking crazy in that climate. But I guess the cooler weather would be consistent with the whole “blue oasis in the red sea” thing.

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      As someone who lives in Austin, I can confirm that there are very few months that qualify as sweater weather (December, January, and February to be exact). Right now it’s like 90 degrees and humid as always (but not as bad as Houston). If only being more liberal than most of the rest of Texas also meant having better weather…

    • Thumb up 0

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      Aw, thanks Rachel!

      And yeah I have been really confused by how many scarves that kid is wearing, and I’ve only been to Texas once (for SXSW obvs), but I do feel overheated just thinking about Texas and looking at Shane’s scarves.

  19. Thumb up 2

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    Oh, I even relate to Amy’s predicament right down to having my own personal Oliver, the totally cute/dorky guy friend who shows painfully sweet interest in dating me which I am fundamentally incapable of reciprocating. Tuff Stuff

  20. Thumb up 1

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    Anyone else found themselves fast-forwarding through this episode? I couldn’t with the protest story line. I just couldn’t.
    I’m trying to give this show a shot, but it’s not wining me over. Perhaps watching it around the same time as “My So Called Life” is not the best of ideas.

    Lastly, it was bugging me as to where I had seen the actress that plays Lauren before.
    Then I finally remembered, she was on Bunheads! A show that should have never been cancelled.

  21. Thumb up 1

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    All I could think about during this episode is the actor who plays Liam (I can never remember his name)’s horrible American accent. For those of you that don’t know, he’s British. His accent slipped up so many times. I kept wondering, didn’t the director or producers or other actors notice this? They had to have considering how many times he did it. It’s so distracting.

    Also, Karma, being a teenage girl is not justification for being stupid or loving a douchebag because he’s “hot” (he’d be hotter if he used his real accent). I’m a teenage girl and I would never fall for a guy like Liam. When I was in high school, the guys like him were the ones I couldn’t stand. The guys I liked were more like the guy Amy was hanging out with or gay.

  22. Thumb up 0

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    “I don’t mean to be rude but do you think it’s possible that maybe the reason you felt so insecure dating a bi guy was because he was so insulted by you thinking he was going to leave you for a girl all the time that he never really figured out how to open up to you and trust you and be real?”

    *loud applause*

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