Wow has it already been a week? HAVE SEVEN MORE DAYS ALREADY BEEN RIPPED FROM THE CALENDAR? They sure have, reader, and in those seven days I’ve come to realize a few things. One is that y’all are a bunch of g-d geniuses and I love you like a million stars up in the sky! I threw some panicky bullshit at you last week and you just sipped your cucumber juice and said, “There, there, little peach. It’s alright. Everything’s just fine. Look at this world full of fine, spread out before you. Relax. Have some water. Put your feet up. Listen to some stories about everything being alright and fine.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much brilliant and energetic advice for another person’s wedding. Thank you! It was a real fucking treat. I think when this particular series is all over, we’ll compile everyone’s solid advice into an open thread and make margaritas and watch Clueless together.
Some other things I’ve realized, in the form of Feelings Already Powered Through From Last Week:
1. Make It alsdkkfjjalsdkfj?: Decided to LG/LG on fully understanding this until after the wedding. I think it’s like when you’re in the seventh month of pregnancy and you’re really as big as you think you could ever get — like the idea of ‘bigger’ is just comically unfathomable — and yet you know on a logical level that you’ll get bigger. The baby will get bigger and you’ll get bigger and it makes no sense HOW it’ll actually happen, but you know it will! Like I’ll wake up Sunday morning and think, “Oh whoa, we really did make that wedding ours. Huh.”
2. Hangout Vibe or Dance Vibe or ???: Y’all have calmed my feelings about this like some walking talking Xanax milkshakes. Bless you. It’ll be a hangout vibe or a dance vibe or a whatever and it’ll be fine. It’ll all be just fine. Brittani says there’ll be dancing and I’m ok with that.
5. I… Don’t Know What I’m Doing: Ok I’ve been having these almost otherworldly moments of clarity in the midsts of panics when it’ll hit me — how to make a specific element that we need, into something that’s less Pinterest and more us. The signage, for example. I was looking at all these printed, letter pressed and chalkboard signs and feeling 100% defeated and annoyed. None of that is us. But you know what is us? Collages!
9. Giftz: Again, you have quelled my fears and made me see the light.
Enough of you chimed in and convinced me to start some kind of registry, because the people who want to give will appreciate the direction and those who don’t plan on giving still won’t feel obligated. We decided on Zola for a couple of reasons: 1) their layout is so clean and pretty, like a well organized coffee table, and 2) it was super easy to set up. It took me about an hour to create the registry collection (A Very Bonnaroo Honeymoon), write the blurbs, upload the pictures and settle on gift amounts. Zola’s customer service is also top notch! I had an issue with the default URL for our registry, and Melissa swooped in like a perfectly gracious godmother and fixed it right up.
10. The Look, The Feel of Moss, The Forest Fabric of Our Lives: We’d already mostly decided that we could have piles of moss on the tables if we wanted to, but your encouragement really knocked it out of the park. Here’s a glimpse at my #mossfeelings inspiry board!
Megan spoke with a nice lady at Lowe’s about our moss options, because Amazon can be a scary place if you don’t do your research first. She introduced Megan to a moss situation that would need to be sprayed with water to be kept alive. Reader, it smelled like a pile of dead fish. Armed with this knowledge, we’ll be going with some lovely preserved reindeer moss instead, which isn’t even a moss at all but definitely doesn’t need to be dampened and won’t be reeking like week-old mackerel. #blessed
And now, on with the show!
Wedding Feelings I’m Powering Through: 11-17
11. This Is The Last Month
I’m reminding myself to HAVE FUN with this. I’m stretching out into the planning and taking the time to look over all the things and letting myself be impressed with what we’ve done so far. I’m letting myself get excited and freaked out, but trying super hard to be right here (Thanks Katie!) because I know it’ll be over soon. Then I’ll have to come up with a pretty spectacular reason to get 30+ people to agree to eat hummus next to a pile of moss while I wear a fancy dress again.
12. New Haircut
Meant to do this about a month ago so it would have time to grow back out a little and not be weird in April. I’m scheduled to have my hair cut at 10:00 on Tuesday. If you’re prone to praying, I’d appreciate it.
13. This Script
After reading through hundreds of scripts that didn’t fit us at all, we found two we super loved and sent them to our officiant. She spliced them together and sent them back for edits, so I set aside the entirety of Sunday to work on it and guess what — it was actually fun! I’d been dreading it because oh god everything, but once I started treating it like an Autostraddle submission from another author, I was able to chill the fuck out and do a thing I’m mildly good at. UNTIL about seven hours into tinkering and researching, when I realized that one of the paragraphs I really, really loved was an uncredited excerpt from a recent book on rites of passage. Now it seems weird to include it without crediting the author, but the paragraph isn’t built into the script the way you would a quote or a reading, so I hit a wall. I can’t figure out how to work in credit, or if I’m only hung up on crediting because of my line of work, or if I should just rewrite the entire paragraph, or or or.
I also realized that I’m working on something very important without help from my editors. I never do that. Part of me wants to ask them to help me work on this, but another part wants it to stay special and private for the actual ceremony! Hi Riese and Rachel! I don’t know what to do.
Anyway this one’s a real doozy.
14. Megan Has Nothing to Wear Yet
This one’s on a slow simmer. Like I’m not freaking out about this right now, but I have the feeling that in about another week or so I’ll be full-tilt. Megan’s so good at miraculously finding clothes at the last minute, so probably this will be just another time when she makes something look easy and I’ll look silly for even beginning to worry.
UPDATE: Megan believes she has her outfit all set, actually, and will maybe just need to pick up some shoes. See? COOL.
15. Oh Did I Mention I’m Doing My Own Makeup for the Ceremony?
Which is super normal, I think, right? I mean, whenever I wear makeup, it’s because I did it myself! I can do this. What’s BB cream? HAHAHAHA no but seriously it’s cool. I’ve been rereading a lot of our This Shit Rules and staring at smashbox.com and Glossier and this post on Offbeat Bride and feeling totally fine about this. Today I bought some waterproof mascara and concealer, so clearly these are steps in the right direction. Tomorrow I’ll look up what BB cream is.
16. I’m Also Doing My Own Hair
People do their own hair every day! HAHAHAahahahaaaaaaaaaaa I have bobby pins and I know braids it’s ok…
17. And We’ve Elected to Make Our Own Cake(s)
Haha! It’s totally ok! We have all these recipes we’ve pinned and we’ve been trying them out when we have time. It’s—
Maybe we’ll take Megan’s sister up on her offer to help with the cakes.
IT’S ALL GOING TO BE OK! Are you powering through some wedding feelings? Have a wedding question for our already-wed or almost-wed writers? Email us at youneedhelp @ autostraddle dot com, or ask away in the comments! We’re also accepting any and all advice. Me. I’m accepting the advice. With open arms. xoxox
oh i just adore you so much.
Maybe take the paragraph out of the vows etc, and get someone to do it as a reading.
yes! this an option for sure.
You’re not making money off the vows, so you can lift whatever you want! i promise. i think everybody does it.
Loved reading this follow up! I’m also slow clapping for you over here – you’re planning and wedding and still finding time to write about it. Well done. I’m continuing the slow clap.
And because I can’t help myself…for nosy advice!
I would suggest a trial hair/makeup run. Especially since you’re doing it yourself. I’m sure you’ve already thought of this, but just in case. :) Also if you don’t like the waterproof eye liner, the guy who did my make up used MAC eyeshadow as the liner, used a small MAC brush to “paint” it on, and it worked perfectly. I only reapplied once just to make it look fresh, but it didn’t run at all.
Are you doing programs for your ceremony? If so, you can credit the author in that. Anything original I’ve written for weddings, the couple usually credits me in a program. I’m sure you know a ton of creative people that could make it for you, but because I didn’t, I used http://www.weddingpaperdivas.com and they were everything. Or maybe I misunderstood what you meant when you said you didn’t know how to credit them and this isn’t helping at all? Whoooooops…
You are rocking this wedding thing. Kudos!!!
I was also going to mention doing a trial hair/make up run. Maybe with an organized and supportive friend who can take notes and give loving feedback, etc.
And wear the eye make up for a few hours to make sure you like how it wears, don’t have a reaction to it, etc.
And my other piece of advice is this (fwiw) – don’t try to be in charge of anything except yourselves the day of the wedding – make lists and delegate. I was surprised how few of our decisions I remembered the day of – I was too keyed up to remember who exactly was supposed to get the corsages or what shots we wanted from the photographer, etc. A lot of things I was able to say “ask so and so, she has the list” and a couple things I just made up on the spot and it all worked out anyways.
You’ll be great. Your wedding will be beautiful and at the end of the day you’ll be married.
trial hair/makeup run: YES. i’ve been trying out some stuff i had but didn’t realize i had (like primers!?) and testing some lipstick options for longevity and color etc. thank you for this eyeliner advice! every couple of days i’m like, “what if i learn how to do a precise kitten eye?” and then i just laugh and laugh and laugh and go back to my carefully smudged kohl.
we’re not doing programs, but this conundrum had me wondering if we should (just so i could include credit to this DUDE who won’t even know i’m using his words in my ceremony anyway!). idk i’m still on the fence about this! did you have a lot of components to your ceremony?
I did have a few different things happening, so I guess part of the reason for the program was that it helped keep things in order for everyone involved haha!
Also, I wanted to credit those who spoke/sang, those who helped with the wedding, also gave a bit of direction about what was going on after the ceremony since we had a venue change.
I also used the program as a thank you to all the parents/grandparents/friends/family who came to celebrate, and also included a small section about those loved ones that weren’t with us anymore. It’s almost a way of saying all the things you don’t think you’re going to get to say to everyone in person.
And of course, I should mention, they were incredible makeshift fans. Because even in the AC, Tennessee couldn’t get it’s shit together for one damn day and be cool! haha!
If you decide to skip the programs and put the paragraph in there, you could always add in the credit at the end of that ‘section’ of script – your officiant could credit the passage in a cute, unique way once they’ve already read it. I’m not nearly clever enough to come up with something witty off the top of my head at the moment, but you definitely are and it might be a cute way to throw even more of y’alls personality into it!
I think whatever you decide will be great! :):)
Hi! I don’t know if you have a Sephora where you live but you are able to go to any Sephora store and get your eye makeup done FOR FREE! (Basically whatever you want they will do!) go now and give it a test run in case you would like to do it for your actual wedding. As a model, this works wonders for me and has been useful in years past. Also, don’t even try tipping. The company doesn’t allow it and it is a service they do for 100% free
penny appears to be really owning the ‘super supportive and protective friend of someone planning a wedding on their own’ role. her face is clearly saying “she’s fine she’s good she’s great she doesn’t need any second-guessing or negative energy right now so just be cool yes she’s very busy but honestly no one has ever had their shit more together I assure you she’s grace under pressure personified”
it sounds like everything is going to be unique and personal and full of heart which is all people remember about weddings anyway really…the feelings it gave them. so lg/lg indeed. it’s gonna be magic. oh and the best wedding cake I have ever had was homemade so I think that is such a smart call. best of luck during last month lead up!!! #lunuptials
UMMMM lomy i think you just created our wedding hashtag for real.
As an editor, it’s great to see this level of plagiarism awareness but I think you are worrying unnecessarily. Would it help to consider turning a piece of text into a wedding ceremony a transformative use?
this does help actually!
i should really consider getting “i think you are worrying unnecessarily” needlepointed onto a pillow or wall hanging.
re: makeup: if you’re looking to waterproof your whole face in case of tears or sweat or idk impromptu swimming?? i wholeheartedly recommend ben nye final seal (which i think i found out about through autostraddle somehow at some point). it can be a little drying so definitely try it beforehand, but it also kept my makeup in place back when i felt like i couldn’t go out without eyeliner but also wanted to go on 30 mile bike rides in hot humid east coast summer. and it kept big black winged eyeliner on through a rainstorm and crying (same day! my paper grocery bags melted and there i was surrounded by quickly soggening boxes of cereal and i just lost it but my eyeliner was perfect!).
good luck with everything! you are a shining star!
omg boxes of cereal in the rain! that is the saddest thing, uplifted only by the fact that your eyeliner stayed perfect. definitely looking to waterproof at least my eyes for crying, and i’d been wondering about a finishing spray so this is very helpful! thank you rachel!!
Well… I’d like to help you with these feelings you are powering through… Specifically numbers 15 and 16. I’ve been doing hair 10 years, have a really good following and own a salon in Phoenix so don’t be scared by my randomness in offering. But, Let me do your hair and makeup! You need to feel extra beautiful that day. Look me up and ask to speak with me. Mmmk? Lisa at Gemini of Chicago
I’M GOING TO EMAIL/CALL YOU
P.s. That would be a gift from me :)
The amount of powering through you are doing is truly inspirational Laneia. Also thank you for telling us about Zola, it looks rad.
So I have never been married or planned a wedding but for some reason I feel like my advice will be INVALUABLE on this subject.
My friends got married last October and they had one of our friends (who loves to bake) make their wedding cake for them- I don’t know if she offered or they asked- but it worked out so well because she got to gift them something with love and effort and they got an amazing homemade cake that didn’t cost them anything in terms of time, stress or moneys. Plus the rest of us benefited from regular cake-testings in the run up to The Big Day.
(In case you want ideas: she made one tier of lemon and one of carrot. It was covered with white icing and a cascade of rainbow fondant roses that her partner had crafted. Suuuuuuper gay, and delicious. PLUS it was all baked in advance and frozen to allow less stress nearer the time)
My roundabout point is: if doing things yourself is stressing you out – are there any talented people in your lives who would love to help out? i.e. you might have a friend like mine who is amazing at make-up, has a million different sized brushes and a giant fuck off case full of colours? I think people want to be a part of something and help if they can – especially if they can’t give too much money-wise.
Alternatively you could just be doing everything yourself because BEING IN CONTROL IS THE ONLY WAY. In which case, I hear you. Breathe. Your hair will look amazing.
yeah after sleeping on it (it’s amazing what publishing a post full of feelings will do for your own clarity) i thinkkkk we should take megan’s sister up on her offer to help with the cakes. i really wanted to have some hands-on things i did myself so it would still feel personal and like hosting a party, but i should be honest with myself and say it’s also about me being a [little bit of a] control freak.
delegating is so hard.
I don’t have any great advice Laneia, just love it while you live it. Best of luck with your planning.
thank you diane! ‘love it while you live it’ is the best advice!
Laneia you’re great at makeup. You’re the one that taught me how to conceal undereye circles, did you know that? Now you do.
LAURA i did not know this! <3 <3
i can’t stop staring at this gif.
your haircut is gonna look great, i know it
i just came home from the salon and my hair smells so good i can’t even believe it. i mean it looks ok too but it SMELLS AMAZING.
I second Hattie’s advice about giving a friend the honour of gifting you cake(s). You have a lot to do, and what if it ends up being the chocolate chip that breaks the camel’s back?
Don’t worry about the nothing-to-wear situation. I got my dress 3 days before the ceremony, and wife-friend got hers approx 5 mins before the shops closed the day before, and we looked officially Too Cute to Deport, so I feel like Megan has a lot of time still.
Have you heard of A Practical Wedding http://apracticalwedding.com/? It helped me so much while I was planning my wedding. And unlike 99% of wedding planning sites out there, it is LGBT inclusive and feminist.
And no I don’t work for them. I just realized my comment sounded like an advertisement. lol
YES I LOVE APW! it’s officially saved my life at least 7 times. oh i should do a post of all the other posts i’ve used while i was planning! thank you for this idea tippibird.
Yay! It would be a great idea to post the articles that you found helpful. Finding good wedding planning advice as a gay woman is not easy!
Good luck with the rest of your planning (I know it’s HARD), and enjoy the hell out of your wedding!
Lavender + chocolate seems like the BEST idea, but it is always just TERRIBLE. I am excited to hear the eventual cake verdict.
Also, your hair and makeup are going to look great. It’s all going to be great.
I got stressed out just reading the last few, but I’m positive everything’s going to be fantastic. You got this!
And does anyone actually get their hair cut when they mean to? I should’ve done mine at least a month ago but I like to wait until I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror anymore.
oh thank goodness. I wait until I can’t even put it up in a messy bun anymore. like even a messy bun is too messy with these hairs.
When we got married, my wife and I each read a small reading to each other that the officiant introduced with the name of the author. (I’m a librarian — I couldn’t not cite either).
If there is no way to orally introduce the paragraph (“and that passage was from …”), perhaps you could include it in your order of service, if you have one. “A portion of the reading was from …”
If you can’t figure out any of these things, I wouldn’t worry about it. Just cite it on the script if not out loud.
Good luck and have fun!
THANK YOU. this is all super helpful!
god laneia i love you and megan so much i just want to feed you both crackers with cheese spread forever
1. i think if there’s like any written or printed material at all for your wedding — idk if there’s like a program or cards or anything, didn’t you say something about cards last time and then it made crystal nervous? — maybe you could credit the author for the script on there? i think it will make a lot of sense in the moment. obvs we’ll look at your script if it helps! but if you want to keep it secret keep it safe then duh.
2. i did my own makeup and hair (“did” my “makeup” and “hair”) and it was fine. really anything you do or someone else does with your hair and makeup will be fine. the only important advice i think is to try out whatever it is ahead of time, and to also take pictures of yourself in that makeup/hair both indoors and outdoors, because it will look super different in different lighting and you want to make sure you’re happy with how it looks in both. ok that’s all i love you, i’m really pumped about the moss
I feel like not crediting the book in the script is only a problem if
1) This wedding is going to be televised or
2) Either of you is planning to run for public office on a marriage platform
Otherwise, I say just leave the script as is and if anyone wants to use your script or see it or scrapbook it or whatever, then let them know where the quote came from.
The best wedding planning advice I’ve gotten is from my aunt who said to pick favorites and then let yourself be done with that thing. Don’t keep coming back and obsessing about the same deets: pick your favorite whatever it is and then move on.
Also watch the movie “About Time” for cute romantic comedy, time travel, Rachel McAdams, and an example of how to keep your cool and have a great wedding in the rain. My fiancé and I talk about the wedding scene in this movie a lot, because there’s a good chance that ours will be rainy too and we don’t care we don’t care we aren’t worried about it at all la la laa
Don’t the stress and such get to you lovely people :)! It will be all worth it at the end
…. Naval gazing, anyone…?
yes! me! I’m navel gazing! glad you could stop by and watch me. I’ll be here next week too xoxo
Thinking of you at your hair appointment right now!!! I know it’s gonna look amazing cause you always look amazing and every time I look through camp photos I’m like, damn it Laneia’s hair is amazing, so.
I’m really glad you found a moss solution and a registry solution. I was gonna tell you about my friends who just got married and had a wedding shower (which I didn’t realize was a thing you did) and made a “regis-tree” and hung tags with gifts and people who were invited took whatever items they wanted from that and people who weren’t at the shower just had to wing it. I like when there is a registry of any sort though because I am the kind of person who is giving a gift regardless and I’d way rather give something you actually want : )
Gotta love no.14 – brings back memories of Em and I running round the vintage shops in Hebden Bridge the day before our civil partnership.
IT’S ALL GOING TO BE 100% AMAZING BECAUSE YOU LOVE EACH OTHER.
And also because of the whole moss/plants thing.
if you wanna go traditional cake-wise (which lavender and chocolate isn’t exactly suggesting…), I’m fairly convinced that my mom makes the best wedding cake ever. I don’t usually like white cake, but hers is so, so good. white chocolate pound cake, white chocolate icing. yes. anyway the point here is, I’m pretty sure I have the recipe, so if that interests you, I could share it.
Sending oodles of positive energy to your hair and hairstylist you glorious wood nymph!
What if the author and/or descendent of the author officiated your wedding? Or perhaps the lucky human who does get to officiate your wedding could wear a similar mustache or sport coat to that of the author’s. If none of these work, just use it and make a panic announcement during the toast at the reception or point everyone to the hand painted sign with the excerpt from the book and the authors name below it. Then pull an Oprah and tell everyone that they all get a copy of the book on their way out.
You’re hair and make-up will look great though. I just know it.
“Then I’ll have to come up with a pretty spectacular reason to get 30+ people to agree to eat hummus next to a pile of moss while I wear a fancy dress again.”
Bring a fancy dress to A-Camp and I’m pretty sure we can make this happen for you.
I was thinking this! And also that if the 30+ people don’t all eat humus, think how awesome it will be to have all that leftover humus to yourselves lol
Laneia this is so great. Are we gonna get to see photos of the actual day at the end of all this? Please say yes (I’m super intrigued about the moss situation)
Imagine the world’s largest thumbs up emoji.
I’m so excited to have thoughts to contribute to this week’s installment of pre-wedding crazy.
First, holy cow, I wish I had had this kind of platform for wedding help when I got married!
Everyone is so amazing and I love autostraddle readers even more after all the great support they’ve given you!
Second, I completely forgot to get my hair cut within a reasonable amount of time prior to my wedding, and got so far behind on really important preparations that I couldn’t get it done until the day before.
You might think this added stress, but in reality I had already been walking around yelling IDGAF ANYMORE YOLO BYE at anyone who tried to talk to me for 3 days so I seriously did not care if it turned out awful because I just wanted to get married and happy-cry a bunch and drink beer and eat cake forever and that was all that mattered to me by then.
My hair was fine, I did it myself on the day – which basically means I washed it and stuck a giant peacock hairpiece on the side and called it a day.
My friends tried to make me wear makeup ‘because duh it’s your wedding’ and I shut that shit down immediately. I don’t wear makeup in real life and I had zero interest in looking like a different person for my wedding for no good reason.
And I look exactly how I wanted to in my photos.
So you are gonna look perfect and amazing no matter what you decide to do with all that.
Third, omg please consider very heavily the gorgeous offer from your sister in law to help make the cakes.
I made my own wedding cakes.
They were so perfect and better than I thought they would be and they made me SO HAPPY and I’ve been bragging about them since my wedding BUT if I had it to do again I would 100% have someone help me/do it for me because I spent about 10 straight days crying in between attempts to perfect a scratch baked three tiered lemon cake with lemon frosting (and a 2 tiered chocolate with peanut butter frosting, which was 800 times easier because it’s impossible to fuck up a chocolate cake.)
I am so glad I attempted trying to do it 2 weeks in advance because the first weekend was one giant failure and I ended up with nine layers of the most disgusting lemon cake ever in my garbage and a broken spirit that took a lot of lasagna and wine to mend.
And because I thought I wouldn’t need any extra time, ‘because hey it’s just a courthouse wedding and a garden party for 12 people’, I didn’t take any time off work before my wedding day and worked until my 5pm haircut the day before, my amazing beautiful perfect friends helped me assemble and decorate two giant cakes mere hours before the ceremony.
Mostly I just want to say let your friends and family help with anything they offer.
Because you will not regret it.
And you will be so much more calm.
Happy almost wedding!
I’m so excited to keep reading your feels.
IDGAF ANYMORE YOLO BYE is definitely my life motto right now and I’m not planning a wedding or anything. So.
i am historically ambivalent / uncomfortable about weddings but i freaking love this series. i might actually like weddings now? what’s happening. eat hummus next to a pile of moss while ppl wear fancy clothes? I … get it! I finally get it! I’m being serious here. Maybe it’s the absence of the patriarchy that’s making a difference in my wedding assessments too. Plus hummus.
I’m excited the reindeer moss is happening! Team moss!
Re: 16/17. One time I was at the same AS meetup potluck as you and Megan. We didn’t actually meet because I spent the whole time petting the dogs (introvert power, activate!) BUT right before you left I decided to say something and I remembered having to choose between complimenting how rad your hair looked (it was all up in little mini-twists and tendrils, I think? it was definitely an elevated level of art and engineering) and how good the mini-apple pies were that you made. I chose to compliment the baking. But just to say, if you do decide to DIY hair / baking / everything, I think it would turn out awesome. hey maybe your friend can make the cake and you can make those little apple pies again? Chocolate and lavendar cake sounds heavenly; go perfect with whiskey. (Lavendar lemonade is really good too.)
I was about to chime in about lavender lemonade. That shit is delicious.
rey!! i remember you and it was so nice to meet you that night! honestly, those dogs are the best for petting and hanging out with, right?
My bat mitzvah was 12 years ago, and I’m still recovering from it. This is the real reason why people aren’t allowed to get married at age 13. Just think, you’re an adult and actually have the brain capacity to make grown-up decisions (unlike a 13 year-old who plans the seating arrangement so her literal middle school crush sits at her table). Just make sure you show up- I actually didn’t go to my own bat mitzvah reception. I recommend going to your wedding. You won’t want to miss it.
This is all so exciting. Your registry photo looks beautiful, and I love the woodland/moss theme idea. Sending lots of positivity to you and Megan!
WEDDING!!!!!!! So cute you guys
Re: Crediting the author. Are you handing out a an order of service/booklet type thing? If so, pop your credit in there. If not, how about you credit the author here next week? That would definitely be above and beyond what you need to do when its for private use, but who doesn’t need a bit of extra good karma in the vicinity of their wedding?
My makeup input? Let this be the one day you don’t care too much about sunscreen, even though I imagine Arizona to be a place where sunscreen is always super important. From what all the youtube beauty teens say, sunscreen tends to reflect in flash photography and look very weird in photos. So on that note easy on reflective pens too? idk.
I think the “setting sprays” to make it stay all day and all night are probably really great… I use a long wear makeup (Estee Lauder double wear light) which, frankly lasts all day anyway without a spray, and is really “natural” looking, even though I am oily, and used to live in Mexico and work in a kitchen where I shouldn’t be wearing makeup, but I did anyway, because I haven’t stopped since high school.
Bobbi Brown eyeliner gel is the ONLY eyeliner that I’ve found stays, through oil, sweat and tears. Eye shadow primer (urban decay is what I have) also is the thing that makes my oil slick lids look like they are “made up” hours after the fact.
This series is really really great! I think once my wife and I decide (plan) an actual wedding I’m going to re-read all this and all the comments again and again. Our marriage has so far been much more legal document based because our dream is to just start our lives already…. but I also not so secretly dream of having a little wedding party. <3 BEST of luck! You are obvs gonna have the cutest ceremony <3 <3 <3
ALSO Laneia, you’re wonderful and amazing and I love reading these! We’re all here for youuu <3
No but seriously, what’s bb cream?
If the cake is stressing you out so much, why not ask some friends or family to help? They can either help you actually make it OR you can get some of them to buy you a cake as a gift. My wife and I bought the cake for her sister’s wedding party, and we had a few people go together to buy our cake for us (it was super fancy but oh-so-worth it).
Oh, and after this is all over and you (hopefully, if you like) share some photos, we can all share some of our photos and feel super happy :D
I can’t believe you are worried about hair or makeup at all. You are A) so beautiful all the time and B) have great braid skills.
You’ve got this, all of it.
I’m so happy for you both and I love reading your words.
you are too kind <3
My wedding is one week from today. ONE WEEK. I’ve been a cool cucumber for months, but that was way before my mom was super concerned about my toe nail color, the style of my hair, what will dangle from the holes in my ears, etc. Why? Why can’t I just do my makeup the way I do it every day? I’m marrying the woman I love and that’s what matters to me. I did my part. I found a dress and shoes that I like. Why do I have to do all of the other things?! Also, when the RSVP list was around 30 people, everything was going to be so laid back and perfect. Now that it’s at over 60, where are we going to fit all of these people and their vehicles?
These are my daily thoughts this week. I’m definitely finding that when my heart gets too anxious and tries to beat out of my chest, it helps for me to breathe for a few seconds, close my eyes, and picture my fiancée’s beautiful face. It helps. Because that’s what this is all about, right? My mother wants to make me a beautiful bride so that when I look back at my photos years from now, I won’t remember the anxiety. All of these people want to witness our ceremony because they truly do care about us and want to share our happiness with us. As long as I put these things into perspective, I’m able to keep my anxiety at bay.
It really is all going to be great.
I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!
please update us with how it goes! i’m sure it’s going to be amazing. aaaaaah it’s like a day from now!! ok sorry i’m just now seeing this comment and freaking out with excitement.