Welcome to This Shit Rules, wherein members of the Autostraddle team open up to you about the beauty products they couldn’t live without.
Two important things to know about me when it comes to beauty products: 1) whenever I go to a drugstore, regardless of what I’m there for, I will spend at least 75% of my time in the hair products aisle 2) my idea of a great lazy afternoon activity is getting stoned and going to Sephora to sniff fragrances. I, like my birthday twin Oscar Wilde, am a vain lil dandy at heart, and these are some of the products I use whenever I want to get my color-coordinated, nice-smelling and perfectly coiffed dandy on. Which is every day. Which is how I make going out in public a fun dandy-venture for myself instead of an awful/terrifying daily necessity.
Giovanni Shampoo and Conditioner
Giovanni hair products came to me several years ago in a confluence of circumstances: I desperately needed non-travel sized toiletries, the shampoo was at eye level, and I liked the shape of the bottles. It’s by far the best accidentally organic/eco-friendly decision I’ve ever made. It keeps my hair clean and healthy despite all the products, haircuts and volatile weather I put it through, and it has an inoffensive, vaguely citrus smell that doesn’t overpower my shower experience.
Organix Argan Oil of Morocco
I put a dab of argan oil on my palm every morning before I practice my Lesbian Hair Ruffle, and it makes my hair look shiny and soft as heck. It’s super light, too; once, I didn’t shower for [redacted] days and my hair still looked fantastic up until the last 12 hours. Also, it smells nice for the minute it takes to work it in.
Buy It on Amazon: 3.3 oz (Penetrating Oil) ($8.93)
St. Ives Apricot Scrub
I mean, I love a good scrub, really any scrub will do. Anecdotally, in my senior year of college my skin finally transitioned from “puberty acne face” to “(relatively) smooth adult face,” and I attribute that to genetics/age and St. Ives and probably also magic.
Buy It on Amazon: 6 oz ($4.99)
If I had a girlfriend and if that girlfriend rode a motorcycle, her biker jacket would smell just like Bvlgari Black: leathery with a touch of rubber and smoke, and underneath that rugged exterior, warm vanilla. Why wouldn’t I want to cover myself with that scent on a cold autumn day?
Buy It on Amazon: 2.5 oz ($31.45)
Dr. Bronner’s Castile Soap
Dr. Bronner’s does all the things I want soap to do. It lasts forever, it lathers up, it’s all natural and vegan, and (you may notice a pattern here) it smells real good. Right now I’m into the rose experience. The peppermint variety tingles like a good wake up call.
Buy It on Amazon: 32 oz (Rose) ($16.69)
Aveda Be Curly Style Prep
I live to create the perfect curly pompadour upon my head, and this stuff is a wonderful base product because a single dab a) magically creates smooth curls from my naturally fluffy-wavy hair and b) smells delicious.
Buy It on Amazon: 3.4 oz ($23.00)
I wear this whenever I want to smell like a salty sea captain or a handsome mermaid.
Buy It on Amazon: 3.4 oz ($17.02)
John Masters Sea Mist Sea Salt Spray
Y’all, salt spray is amazing. I spray it all over before I go to bed, and I wake up with a voluminous, messy, majestic head of hair. All of the benefits of beach hair, none of the work of actually getting to the beach. John Masters is especially good because it doesn’t leave a weird residue, and, of course, while it dries, it smells great.
Buy It on Amazon: 9 oz ($16.50)