“The Fosters” Episode 110 Recap: The One With the Lesbian Wedding

The final episode of The Fosters not Fisters opens in the Great Lesbian Kitchen where an episode of “Hoarders: Napkin Edition” seems to by playing out. There are hundreds of cloth napkins strewn about the table and the only reason I’m not completely distracted by the mismatched patterns is that Annie Potts is sitting there. You can’t just drop Annie Potts into a scene! She should have had an entrance, so I’m already bitter.

I've quit better jobs than this.

I’ve quit better jobs than this.

The family is folding napkins and polishing silver and Stef comes down carrying a box and Lena freaks out because she shouldn’t be carrying boxes. Then, they start talking about the impending nuptials and, if you say nuptials aloud enough times, you’ll realize it’s an absurd word and laugh.

You’re doing it right now, aren’t you? Me too.

box joke

Stef doesn’t get to handle Lena’s box until later in the episode.

Anyway, we learn that Lena’s dad got ordained on the internet, Stef’s dad has yet to RSVP and Stef thinks walking down the aisle is silly and being given away is silly and Stef really should stop talking and take a course in reading Lena’s non-verbals because yikes! “Silly” isn’t playing to this crowd.

Callie comes downstairs and Stef and Lena mention that they need to talk to her about Liam.

Later, in the hallowed halls of the Anchor Beach Charter School, Wyatt tells Callie that his family is moving to Indiana to live with his grandmother and Callie is stunned and they say their goodbyes and Wyatt kisses her on the cheek.

Digression 1: When someone says “Indiana,” I immediately start humming “Gary Indiana” from The Music Man and I don’t like that song so I’m not fond of Indiana though I do like Indiana Jones.

music man joke

Wellllllll ya got trouble, my friends.

Meanwhile, Talya tells Brandon she doesn’t know what to get his moms for a wedding present.

Digression 2: I’m getting married soon and I would like Talya to get me a new pepper mill because my kids dropped ours and it’s cracked. Wait – a cracked pepper mill! That’s funny so never mind. I’ll keep it.

Brandon reluctantly agrees to go shopping with her and then sees Callie sitting alone looking pensive and says he’s going to talk to her. Talya is fine with that and suggests he invite her to go shopping with him and she seems genuinely nice and not at all evil. Brandon asks Callie what’s up and she tells him that she is reluctant to go to court against Liam because it will be her word against his but Brandon wants Liam to pay for what he did to Callie.

I am a man and I know what's best for you: the saga continues

I am a man and I know what’s best for you: the saga continues

Stef is in the bathroom with her tank top pulled up and she starts poking her bullet wound. Lena comes in and Stef pulls her shirt down and Lena says she is sorry she made her self-conscious and Stef says she’s not the one bothered by it and Lena says it’s a constant reminder about the shooting and I say, “Damn. Stef looks amazing in that tank top.”

#StefsTankTop

#StefsTankTop

Stef’s mom visits Stef’s dad and they talk about the ugly wallpaper in his kitchen and the fact that she used to dress like Holly Hobbie but they bore me so I focus on the fact that he has two identical bottles of ketchup in his fridge.

Digression 3: Also, does Frank ever do anything besides wander around his kitchen and make sandwiches. He’s a full-time TV sandwich maker. I guess that’s why he needs all that ketchup.

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double the ketchup, double the fun

Sharon laughs when mentioning that Lena’s dad is performing the ceremony and then says, “It’s going to be a lovely afternoon. They’re happy you’re coming.” And then we know that Sharon’s super power is passive aggression. Frank stares blankly because that seems to be his super power and then she gets mad and says, “Get over yourself and put on a nice shirt and haul your saggy ass to that wedding on Saturday.” Then, she storms out. I really don’t like thinking of Frank’s saggy ass.

Jesus and Lexi are making out and Lexi wants to have sex again and Jesus wonders if she’s testing him and I know this show is testing me because I’ve seen a lot more tongue wrestling between these teens than I’ve seen from the adult moms. Jesus realizes the lesbian characters are not getting equal treatment in the making out/sex department and stages a sit in and, after the second verse of “We Are A Gentle Angry People,” Lexi leaves in a huff. Okay, Lexi just leaves in a huff.

caption

Stef, Lena and Callie are meeting with the assistant district attorney who looks like a nerdy turtle. He tells Callie that it won’t go to a jury because there is no physical evidence and too much time has passed. Then, he says that if the sex was consensual, they could get him on statutory rape and he’d go to jail for a year. God Bless America!

Digression 4: I once spent two days on a jury listening to testimony regarding negligence in a dog bite case. I listened carefully and took a million mental notes and then, when it was time to deliberate, I was informed that I was the alternate and was dismissed. I’m still mad and that was 11 years ago.

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the white man cometh

Mike is taking tables from his car and it reminds me of that scene in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving when Snoopy and Woodstock are setting up tables and making popcorn and toast and I hope they’re not catering the wedding.

Fosters110-00021

They talk about the investigation into the shooting and Mike tells her that Ana said the greasy guy dropped his gun and was unarmed. Stef says that’s true and she’ll change her statement but he says she’ll lose her job and she’s worried he’ll lose his job and I don’t have a job to lose but I might lose my mind if they keep talking.

Brandon asks Callie how the meeting with the attorney went and she tells him what the guy said and Brandon says that he is sure everything will work out. Callie gets mad and says that he lives in a magical world and Brandon looks perplexed as he sits atop his unicorn under a rainbow with a pot of gold clutched in his idealistic little hands.

actual screencap from the actual show

actual screencap from the actual show

Stef enters the kitchen with Lena’s parents and they open a bottle of wine. Stef’s mom comes in and says, “Oh boy! Wine! Yum!” and it’s very endearing and also I want wine because this is a wedding episode and I’ve yet to have any feelings so maybe I want to feel “wine.” They ask Stef and Lena about their vows and Stef says they’re not doing vows and I start to think that Stef doesn’t understand what a wedding is.

Marianna and Callie are in their room and Callie can’t sleep and Marianna says, “I don’t know what you’re going through but I know a lot about lying.” Is this insight? Character growth? Temporary insanity? Then, she says, “Whatever you decide, you know we’ve got you, right?” and my Grinchy heart grew one size. Just one – let’s not go crazy.

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aww

Fast forward to Callie in a courtroom. She’s on the stand and the nerdy turtle asks her if the sex was consensual and she gives a long, dramatic monologue about knowing what they want her to say but ends with “No, it was not consensual. No. He raped me.” Sometimes doing the right thing is so hard.

Back at home, Stef tells Lena that Callie did the right thing and Lena says that Callie deserves better than what the system has given her and you can’t really argue with that.

Fosters110-00024

Lexi pouts her way through the halls of Anchor Beach and Marianna asks her what’s wrong. Lexi says her grandmother in Honduras is sick and they may go visit her. Marianna says, “How can you do that since you’re, you know…” What Marianna? A teenager? A fraggle? I can’t even with this undocumented business.

Meanwhile, the moms’ moms are arguing about flowers. Sharon wants color! Dana wants something sophisticated! Dana realizes she may have offended Sharon and says, “I didn’t mean…” and Sharon says, “Of course, you didn’t. I didn’t realize sophisticated actually meant stick up your ass!” Sharon walks out and Lena walks in and Dana tells her that Sharon wants colorful daisies which will make it a clown wedding. I guess that’s bad because everyone hates clowns. A mime wedding would be worse though, everyone walking in slow motion and trying to get out of invisible boxes.

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2009 Rihanna

Digression 5: My mom used to collect clowns. Not real ones because we had a small house.

Stef is lying on her bed and Sharon comes in and starts complaining about Dana wanting calla lilies and says they are funeral flowers. The Libra in me wants to strike a compromise so a Dead Clown Wedding seems to strike a balance. Sharon continues her rant by asking Stef to wear a dress for the wedding instead of pants and Stef says “I just want this day to be here so we don’t have to talk about it anymore!” Yeah, that’s not the right attitude for a wedding even if there are dead clowns involved. Sharon storms out and Lena storms in complaining that their families are crazy. Stef says, “All of this fuss over some stupid wedding.” Serious tactical error, Stef. Lena is ready to call off the wedding because Stef thinks everything is dumb and I can’t really blame her.

hold on, one more set of kegels

hold on, one more set of kegels

Stef visits her dad in his kitchen and I hope that, with the renewal of the show, Frank might get a living room next season. Stef delivers a killer monologue, “I’ve been really embarrassed about this wedding. I haven’t been able to enjoy one single solitary second of it. This voice in my head keeps telling me it’s not right what we’re doing – two women standing in front of friends and family promising to love each other forever. That’s wrong.” She then talks about how screwed up that is because she loves Lena and their family more than she has ever loved anything and then adds, “And I realized that voice, that voice is yours, not mine.” She then tells him that she doesn’t want him at the wedding if he can’t support them. It’s hard to make a good, dramatic exit with a sliding screen door, so, Stef just wanders out with her hands in her pockets. I hope Frank gets a door next year too. Then, people can leave with more pizzazz.

I have to say. I believe Idgie's been a bad influence on you.

I have to say. I believe Idgie’s been a bad influence on you.

Digression 6: A similar scene played out in my own life in 2000. When planning our ceremony, there was a family member who was very unsupportive and it was my sister who went to that person and said almost exactly what Stef said to her father. For the record, the family member came to our ceremony and it was a turning point in our relationship.

Stef goes home and Sharon is sitting on the couch reading a magazine. Stef apologizes for snapping at her and tells her that she won’t wear a dress just to please her and I’m a little bit confused about this dress issue because Stef has worn a dress before so why is it a big deal? Stef tells Sharon she’s sorry she’s not the daughter she dreamed of and Sharon, showing a great grasp of the latest lesbian wedding fashion trends says, “I don’t care if you wear a bikini, overalls or a flak jacket.” She continues to stare at her magazine and says, “But you’re right about one thing. You’re not the daughter I dreamed of. You’re better.” It’s predictable and it could have been too sweet but Annie Potts plays it just cool enough to pull it off.

caption

I found my moving buddy.

Stef continues the Tour of Apologies and finds Lena in the bedroom reading “She’s Just Not That Into You.” Stef gives her the weepy puppy eyes and says she wants to marry her and Lena keeps reading and Stef says, “I’d be crazy not to.” Then, Lena throws the book across the room and they hug and roll on the bed and then, when we see them again, they are naked and Lena says, “Are we sure about this?” and I think maybe it’s their first time. Then she says, “Then I want to tell them today. I don’t want them to come to the wedding not knowing.” What? That you have sex? Because I’m still not sure that you do.

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this is how lesbians have sex

Stef and Lena sit down with the kids and tell Callie and Jude that they deserve a home and they want to adopt them. Callie asks the other kids if they’re okay with this and Brandon says, “There’s enough to go around.” Maybe I teared up a little. Maybe. My only question is now that the Fosters won’t be fosters will they have to change their name to The Adopters?

The garden is decked out for the wedding and it’s all in white so I assume that Dana beat Sharon in a behind-the-scenes wrestling match and that all the clowns were stuffed back into a Volkswagen that’s parked in the driveway.

Jesus takes Lexi to his room and she’s still mad that he won’t have sex with her and he tells her he knows she might be going back to Honduras and that he’ll wait for her.

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you don’t have to tell me! i know it’s at the top of the vagina!

Callie asks to talk to Brandon privately and thanks him for believing in her and Brandon gets really close and I can almost smell his idealistic magical breath and it smells like Lucky Charms. Then he tells her, “You deserve to have everything you want, don’t you?” I don’t think he’s talking about a pony and that’s confirmed when she dives in and eats his face off.

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baaaaaaaaaaaaarf

Talya asks Sharon if she’s seen Brandon and I start to panic. Brandon and Callie continue to make out like the non-lesbian characters they are and it’s Jude that catches them. Jude stomps away and Callie follows and he’s like a little mafia boss in his suit and the way he talks to Callie. He tells her she ruins everything and she promises she won’t do it again and he says, “Yes, you will or you’ll find some other way to ruin everything because that’s what you do.” He tells her she’s selfish and I hate the way she is basically groveling. Then, he makes her kiss his ring before he takes his leave.

The Captain mentions to Lena that she’s glad Stef is coming back to work next week which is new information to Lena. Stef overhears and knows she’s probably in big trouble. Lena grabs Stef’s hand and drags her into a room and shuts the door and pushes her against the wall and starts undressing her and I think FINALLY WE ARE GETTING SOME HOT ACTION but she just puts her hand on Stef’s bullet wound and I yell, “Lower Lena! Lower!” but she says she’s making peace. She tells Stef she is going to marry all of her, “the scar, the bullet and the cop” which is better than “the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” but still a disappointment. Make love not peace, Lena!

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what are you doing, babe this is primetime

The wedding begins with a shout out to the Supreme Court decision and then Dana reads a traditional wedding thing and Sharon quotes Erma Bombeck and then we get to the vows. Lena says, “Stephanie Marie Foster, you are a piece of work but you’re my piece of work.” Subconsciously, I substituted “piece of ass” because I’m still frustrated from the making peace scene. Lena finishes her vows and Stef says to Lena, “You’re the person I’ve been waiting for my whole life and I am so proud to be standing here.” The mafia boss has the rings and they exchange them and then kiss like they’re blotting excess lipstick off on a napkin.

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they’re resuscitating each other

Digression 7: I expected Stef’s dad to enter during the wedding and he didn’t and I am so thankful they didn’t go with the sappy/happy ending to that arc.

At the reception, Jesus and Lexi are dancing while Lexi’s parents watch and Sonja says Lexi will be devastated when she finds out they’re not coming back. I will admit that caught me by surprise. Maybe we won’t have to endure the whispered “undocumented” storyline next season.

Jude is eating wedding cake and Callie comes up to grovel some more and Jude doesn’t say anything and I’m worried Callie might soon sleep with the fishes.

caption

you spend time with your family?

Marianna dedicates Macklemore’s “Same Love” to her moms and then the whole family dances with wolves. Other than Callie and Brandon’s awkward glances, it’s a cute little scene.

As the song comes to an end with the words “She keeps me warm,” we see Lena and Stef naked spooning in bed. I know they can’t or won’t show the sex but I wish they’d at least kiss like real lesbians kiss – passionately with hummus breath.

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no, this is how lesbians have sex

As everyone sleeps, Callie packs her things and then peeks into everyone’s rooms and then walks out of the house and down the middle of the street because using the sidewalk wouldn’t be as visually stunning. She shows up at Wyatt’s as he’s packing the car and asks if he takes hitchhikers. He’s says he thinks she should go home and she tells him to drive safely and walks away. He catches up with her a few blocks away and she gets in his car and they drive off to Gary Indiana Gary Indiana Gary Indiana.

Digression 8: What kind of mother lets her teenage son drive from California to Indiana by himself?! When I was that age, my stepmother let me drive to store to get Tylenol and I got distracted by the Go Go’s and ran into a woman in her brand new Volvo!

caption

can you tell me how to get to sesame street?

And that’s a wrap of Season 1!

Overall impression: I expected to have lots of feelings because I’m sappy about weddings but I felt almost nothing.

Favorite line: I struggled to find a line I really loved this episode so I’ll have to go with Marianna telling Callie, “Whatever you decide, you know we’ve got you, right?” just because it shows such growth in that relationship.

Really? Did they have to do that?: Brandon and Callie. Hasn’t that been the answer to this question all season?

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Vikki Reich

Vikki Reich is a writer and communications consultant. She lives in Minneapolis with her partner and kids, surrounded by a loving queer community.

Vikki has written 25 articles for us.

34 Comments

    • I am SO mad at myself for not catching that line! I think I was so tired of teen make-outs that I just blanked that scene. My friend, Deborah, mentioned this line to me after I had already sent my draft.

      This probably should be the line for the episode!

  1. Also, I just want to say that the magical Brandon screen cap is the best thing that has happened to me this week. Thank you Grace!

  2. Aww. kinda disappointed Vikki. I am sad because you are truly such a gifted writer- Laugh out loud sharp wit- But these reviews of the Fosters of late have begun to sting me with their bite. I will never be the one to just lap up what television offers us because we should just be grateful for whatever schlock they put out there, but in my opinion, this show is hitting so many of the right notes, and giving so many people some positive feels about themselves. I know it’s easy to eyeroll with some of the sap, but once in a while you have to get some perspective and realize this is a show airing on ABC Family. We aren’t going to see oral sex. We just aint. I know you know that, yet your reviews are always tinged with that lament on some level.. I think, in my humble opinion, they are doing a pretty admirable job of entertaining while educating, and maybe changing some minds about what it all means. And because they have introduced intimacy subtly on the show, maybe it’s given them license to progress with it in season 2. If you need a fix of hot dirty lezz sexytime, come over and we can order some stuff on demand. I’ll make hummus

    • Thank you for the kind words and I’m sorry you are disappointed. Your criticism of my recap is completely legitimate. I actually joked that this recap should come with some sort of disclaimer about me being dead inside.

      For the record, I don’t expect them to have sex and I certainly don’t expect to see oral sex. If I want that, I’ll watch Orange Is The New Black. I do, however, expect to see more passionate kisses and equal treatment for the parents in that regard.

      I agree that this show has a positive message and is doing a great job of making lesbian families acceptable to a mainstream audience. That said, it has long been a common formula to take away the sexual aspects of our lives to make us more relatable and less threatening to that audience. Add to that the fact that our culture tends to strip older women of their sexuality and it’s hard for me to ignore.

      So, yes, there has been a little bite to these recaps lately. You are right.

      But let’s make peace, not love. You make the hummus and I’ll make cocktails and we can talk about the representation of older women and lesbians in the media.

      Swoon ;)

    • i think vikki is just making jokes. “making jokes about how woman a and woman b should be having more sex” is like a staple of the Lesbian Recap Joke Cannon. when i joke that santana and rachel berry should be scissoring, i’m not saying the show sucks because they’re not scissoring (the show does suck, but for other reasons), i’m just saying something that many of us are thinking when we see two hot girls on screen together and sharing that thought together as a family is funny.

      i think you’re interpreting dry humor as hard criticism, yannow?

      • This too.

        Maybe I got too deep there for a second. I had all day to think about this comment when I was on mom duty at the pool and couldn’t respond.

        I just think it’s also a valid question to ask why lesbian moms can’t be seen as sexual beings? Actually, why can’t moms in general be seen as sexual beings?

        • yeah i mean i fully agree. like i was ready to write off the entire show after the first episode because i didn’t feel like lena and stef were sexual or seemed to have any sexual chemistry. but over time i’ve warmed to it because it obviously has a lot else going for it, and also because i like to read these recaps, and there have been some episodes where sex was broached, at least. though it’s annoying that everybody else seems to be getting more play than the lesbian leads.

          really though if they’re not gonna scissor then they should make the show come on at 8 instead of 9, why is Pretty Little Liars on at 8 and the fosters is on at 9? i always get confused because i think “family show will be on at 8 on mondays” and “teenage sexy murder show will be on at 9 on tuesdays” but it’s the other way around ,the family show is on at 9 on mondays and the teenage sexy murder show is on at 8 on tuesdays. it’s hard to remember, and i don’t know why nobody has fixed this for me because the whole world does revolve around me, ultimately.

        • I really don’t expect sex but there is SO much they could show short of sex. Stef is already a breathy talker – use that to show some intimacy and pre-sexiness. In the making peace scene, it would have felt more intimate if Lena had leaned in and changed her voice a little but, as it was, it was about as intimate as me kissing my fingers and putting them on my daughter’s skinned knee.

          I don’t expect sex and maybe if they fixed the kissing situation, I would feel better about the whole deal.

          Obviously, there are parts of the show I like and their cuteness is not lost on me. I just want a more because I’m greedy that way.

        • i would love for them to fix the kissing situation, i think that would take the show to the next level. i feel like their overall image is very chaste, and that’s not very progressive! but they are also v.cute

  3. I’ve got to agree with Betsy. I loved your reviews of the first few episodes, I completely agree with you about Brandon/Callie, and I do think better kisses for the moms will be appropriate every once in awhile moving forward, but the massive amounts of vulnerability/love/acceptance between these two women just slays me. I absolutely adore them.

    The huge ‘hug’ scene was so incredibly romantic to me, as was Stef telling Lena that she belonged with her in Episode 9, and Lena saying yes but still unable to make the first move until Stef took hold of Lena’s arms and drew her into her. It’s these subtle things that show a yin/yang couple that truly work.

    I’m sorry it’s not working for you because I’m just completely in love.

    • Stef and Lena are undeniably a cute couple and, if I can step outside of expectations, I can get on board with adoration. The words of love are there – I agree.

      What’s missing for me is representation of a deeper connection. Hell, I would have melted over a montage of them as a couple at the wedding. The truth is, however, that I felt more at Marianna’s party than I felt at this wedding and that makes me sad.

      The show has done a good job of making them an adorable, likable couple. I just can’t help but want them to be seen with more complexity.

      If next season, Stef and Lena get an occasional kiss like the ones the kids have had on the show. I will be satisfied but I don’t think it will happen. The disparity is jarring for me and takes me out of the show.

      Like I said to Betsy, I am glad the show exists and I certainly don’t want to take away from people’s enjoyment of it. The thing is…I AM Stef. Well, I would be if I looked like that in a tank top and was a cop rather than a freelance writer. The point is that I am a middle-aged lesbian mother of two who has been with her partner for 20 years. I have to be honest and point out that us old lady lesbian moms are not necessarily getting our due. Maybe this is a lesson for me in patience.

      • As another 40something lady-loving-lady and mother of 2, I would also like to see deeper connection, deep throat kissing and, of course, scissoring…or at least married hummus kissing. And if there isn’t going to be scissoring or married hummus kissing, I want the funny. Adoration is just not all that funny. So, about the Tylenol story? Thank you.

        • That Tylenol story is completely true and that woman was MAD. She jumped out of her car and started banging on the hood of my stepmom’s car and I stayed in the car with the windows up figuring that I might have to live in that car forever.

      • “What’s missing for me is representation of a deeper connection. I just can’t help but want them to be seen with more complexity.”

        Hmmm, this just makes so little sense to me that I’m struggling. I get it on the kiss front, absolutely. The same issue has been present for Callie and Arizona for years. It’s time to get rid of the double standards IMO. I do think the showrunners here will hear this though and may see what they are able to do to fix it. (This is where the network does definitely interfere)

        But I don’t get what you’re saying about the deeper connection. Or even a lack of complexity. I see both. It’s in Lena’s reaction shots to Stef teasing the kids, locking arms across the lawn, treading gently over the topic of religion and allowing a partner space to be indelicate at the dinner table on a subject you know has given her a whole lot of pain, it’s taking the slights over the wedding because you recognize the root cause until it finally hurts enough to say something, and in the saying, an immediate need by the other to fix things…there are all of these little moments for me that showcase their differences and their strengths. And that it’s not necessarily easy all of the time, but they’re very much ‘in love.’ That’s what I get from them. They both like and love each other. And in the finale we know that they had sex two nights in a row and that Lena knows how to unbutton a blouse very quickly. :)

        But hey, I do think asking for parent kisses to be equal to the kids is fair. I’m all for that.

        • I should have said passion. I see plenty of adorable connection. I want to see their passion for and with each other.

        • Thanks Jennifer for sharing your comments/thoughts, I really enjoy reading them. I also see the deeper connection and complexity in Stef & Lena’s relationship. My wife and I have been together for 15 years, professional women in our early forties with four kids. After being together with someone for a long time–loving, laughing, sharing, fighting, caring… In addition to the physical, there is an emotional and spiritual depth to the relationship, that deeper connection that helps deal with the complexities of each other, our relationship, the family dynamics (immediate and extended), etc. Yet, still like, love and be in love with each other.

          So for us, like many other fans of the show, we are happy to see the deeper connection and complexities of Stef & Lena’s relationship. Long term partners, who like, love and are in love with each other, love being the prevailing theme throughout their relationship with each other, and with their children, regardless. Lena’s love and understanding of Stef: as you beautifully put it “allowing a partner space to be indelicate at the dinner table on a subject you know has given her a whole lot of pain, it’s taking the slights over the wedding because you recognize the root cause until it finally hurts enough to say something, and in the saying, an immediate need by the other to fix things…” They like, love and are in love.

          It is great to see this kind of love representing our community on TV. Like Vikki, I too would like to see more passion. But not necessarily sex, or even open mouth passionate kisses, (we must remember this is abc family), and quite frankly if passion and intimacy are portray correctly it has the ability to capture the imagination, which can be oh so absolutely delicious.

  4. I totally loved Jude’s yelling scene with Callie. He *was* like a little mafia dude in that suit (?) but the scene worked for me because of the intense, loaded history and weirdness that exists between siblings. It totally made sense to me that he could take Callie down and actually her running away really took me by surprise but then made complete sense in that she is both protective of Jude in a way that she can never love herself and also (I think) unable to truly be in one place permanently. To me it was a complicated and interesting character turn.

    My predictions for next season:
    1. lots of effort put into “finding” Callie. There will be foster kid probation consequences.
    2. obvs the Honduras/Lexi thing is going to blow up and Jesus will do something ridiculous like paddle a boat into the Pacific yelling her name
    3. Callie and Jude’s father in prison will resurface — there will be contact, parole, something, and then the show’s endless retreading of the chosen vs. biological family theme
    4. Jude will kiss a boy
    5. A rival lesbian will pursue one of the moms, prompting drama and ultimate reaffirmation of love and sexytimes
    6. Brandon will turn into a frog.

    • I approve of these predictions. I am especially fond of the visuals of Jesus paddling a boat in the ocean and Brandon turning into a frog.

  5. I really loved that they included an Erma Bombeck quote. Erma Bombeck books have been my comfort since I was about eleven and I think she’s so underrated and just gets cast as whatever the equivalent of a mommy blogger was in the seventies. But she was so awesome! She fought for the ERA! She was witty in such a wonderful way and gave voice to a lot of women’s issues through her humor. I also named one of my boobs after her because who wouldn’t?

    And that’s my Erma Bombeck rant.

  6. I’ve been enjoying the recaps, sometimes more than the show :) The show has a lot of great things going for it and I think it’s great that it’s aired in mainstream media. In all the episodes I feel that Stef and Lena lack the close physical and emotional connection that should be present in a long time couple. One doesn’t need a sex scene to demonstrate this. A closer connection can be demonstrated by how they look at each other and how they move in each other’s space. I feel that if real queer women were hired for those roles, they’d be able to pull it off.

    • I agree. There are subtle things they could do to communicate physical intimacy that they don’t always do, I can’t even be more specific. I just know that there could be more.

  7. Thank you so much for the great recaps and I hope you are back with them when new episodes start up.

    I agree there should be more sexual physicality between the two parents. It is especially jarring when all the kids are getting serious smooches. Sometimes I think Rizzoli and Isles are portrayed as more of a couple than Stef and Lena.

    I saw The Music Man a couple years back with Barry Williams as the lead. Jealous? (Actually, the best part was the local high school band that came out at the end)

    • I recently saw The Music Man at my kids’ school. It was put on by 7th graders. Jealous? Yeah, you really shouldn’t be. Ha Ha.

  8. It seems sort of obvious to me that the kissing situation would be solved if the actress who plays Lena would just go with the flow. Stef always seems to want to take it to the next level, and Lena is always just standing there with a closed mouth, sometimes leaning backwards.

    Anyway, really loved this episode. I think the family issues addressed here regarding acceptance/rejection are still very prevalent in many queer lives, including mine. The scenes involving Stef and her parents were clearly written with great care and commitment to authenticity. This was in stark contrast to the preachy, uncomfortable interaction we saw between Stef and her father a few episodes prior, during which the writers clumsily tried to summarize the pair’s entire history in three sentences.

    I’m really pleased with this show’s progress.

  9. I think that the key to having an emotional reaction to this episode is to watch it late at night when you’re really tired an a little bit weepy to begin with.

  10. I don’t like Callie and Brandon together. To add to the remarks about how Stef and Lena kiss, honestly I think even though they are wonderful actresses, kissing the other gender which you are not “with”, I’m sure has been interesting for the both so maybe they just haven’t practiced enough..because we all know the interactions are so much more passionate than what ABC Family has been able to provide. But, either way it was a great 1st season and thank you Vikki for the fun reviews!! :)

  11. I wonder if the emphasis on the teens getting it on and not the moms is based on the demographic – is the target demo a teen audience? I can see why they might pull back on parents if that’s what they think their audience is. Pretty Little Liars tends to tone down the parents quite a bit, too.

  12. Did you guys notice that one of the wedding presents was wrapped in neon gerber daisy wrapping paper? Ha.

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