The Comment Awards Will Never Give Up On You

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Hi BBs! By the time this is published, I’ll be on my way up to the Oregon coast to spend a few days in the woods, listening to waves crash and forgetting that things like Twitter and politics exist. I wish I could bring every one of you with me! (In my absence, please don’t forget to lovingly fight about food in the comments below.)

This week, Erin watched Elena Undone, and she has some questions. Well, one question, really.

What kind of world is it where Orphan Black only has three episodes left? Anyway, here’s Valerie Anne’s brilliant recap of episode 507, also known as THE EPISODE WHERE THINGS HAPPENED WITH AN EYEBALL.

This was very sweet and made me think about you and me and the world we live in: Are You Ten Years Ago: We Remember Tegan & Sara’s The Con, Which Changed Our Lives.

A kid! An egg! A park! They do stuff! Mey chatted with the cast and crew of Danger and Eggs.

Reneice is an actual angel from Heaven and this week, she made a vegan chocolate icebox pie.

My main takeaway from the latest installment of AM/PM is that Fashion Editor Nora has fantastic bangs.

Want to dress like Meg Ryan in the 90’s? Alaina has you covered.

And then there were your comments!

On Kristen Stewart And Stella Maxwell Crashed a Lesbian Wedding and Aunt Linda Was Very Excited:

The Listen, Linda Award to SurelySurly:

i’d like to use Aunt Linda as the excitement barometer moving forward: “market had some fresh blueberries- Aunt Linda was moderately excited.

On No Filter: Jasika Nicole Just Blue Herself:

The Feelings Parade Award to :) and Sarah:

If Celine Dion is Sarah’s type, I am so out of luck. Sarah: I don't have a type, just a lot of feelings.

On “Wynonna Earp” Episode 207 Recap: Aphrodite Made Me Do It:

The @ Me Next Time Award to Denise:

You don’t get to be Wynonna Earp by facing your problems head on.

On Ranking Carol’s Best Pickup Lines:

The Face that Launched a Thousand ‘Ships Award to Rous Rose:

Cate Blanchett’s face is the best pickup line.

The Big Enough for Two Award to Lynn:

I just rewatched this the other day (with my mum, which was a little more awkward than I’d imagined) and when she got to #2 I nearly busted up laughing. The absolute confidence of saying “we can never see each other again

The Ethics in Lesbian Journalism Award to Sally:

Well, this is a wholly irresponsible article, and I’m not just saying that because I’m a member of the unpopular and controversial Ambivalent About Carol Club. It’s already hard enough to work out when a woman is hitting on you, and encouraging Carol’s weirdly accusatory and mildly defeatist bamboozlers will do nothing to improve this situation. We are creating a generation of protoqueers that will be too scared to leave the house on Sundays, and whose standard pick-up line will be “Hi. I guess not. Bye.

On Concert Recap: Tegan & Sara “The Con” Tour, Webster Hall, November 2007:

The Our Chart Award to aj:

I just last week realized that Tegan and Sara have the haircut I’m looking for, and now I see it’s a move from a to c on the chart. I guess I’m fine with that.

On Style Thief: Meg Ryan from the 1990s:

The Gay Nineties Award to Caitlin:

I miss 90’s fashion, where everyone dressed like a lesbian.

On “Orphan Black” Episode 507 Recap: Eye of the Storm:

The Who Killed Jenny? Award to Rous Rose:

If PT killed Jenny, it makes up for at least 70% of his past sins in my opinion. To this week’s murdered clone: I’m glad you enabled us to behold Tatiana Maslany with a blue mohawk. May you rest in peace.

See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

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Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.

246 Comments

  1. Thank you for calling my recap brilliant. These awards are brilliant. Have a brilliant weekend. <3

  4. *whispers* Queer Girl is away???

    C’mon everyone, we have to make sure she’ll be happy when she gets back to us. As happy as having the fullest-fat yogurt instead of milk on cereal for breakfast!!

    • ….omg is your name said like snail? Are you a snail? Do you carry a house with you wherever you go? Are you prepared to camp at all opportunities? How did I never read your name outloud before??

      • @thecirrhosismachine Yes! It’s a play on my name (Gaëlle), English people calling French snails (or frogs…), and on the fact I just love them (as friends, not food.
        Ok well maybe not friends, but friendly acquaintances). My wife is the moon (I first knew her as Artemis), so we sign lots of notes with a moon and snail _@//***O

      • Thank you for asking this Gilbert, because I’ve been pronouncing it “snail” in my head and wondering if I should ask. (As a person whose name is always pronounced wrong, these are things I think about)

    • Don’t tell me that Queer girl also eats cereal with yogurt instead of milk. I did not know that. I do the same thing

      • If she has functioning tastebuds she does, because there is no better option for cereal.

        • Does this work for cereal that isn’t granola? Also, plain yogurt or vanilla? Greek yogurt or regular?

          • Greek yogurt, the higher fat the better. Plain with maple syrup. I haven’t tried it with non-granola cereals but I think you should experiment and report back.

          • I’ve only tried it with granola and regular store brand yogurt, so was curious. I might try this out because I don’t actually like milk (or soy milk, or almond milk, or anything resembling milk), but I have it on cereal because it’s necessary. Although I did just buy a new carton of milk, so maybe in a few weeks lol!

          • I enjoy it with Frosted Flakes but granola is better.
            Also plain regular yogurt. No Greek for me

    • Oooh defs brownies. Unless you had a particularly exciting cake planned. Any plans for what to put in the brownies? I made white chocolate and raspberry ones once and I still think of them three years later.

      • Brownies it is then! Thinking of adding some chocolate syrup so they are really moist (insert immature joke about eating wet things here), white chocolate chips, and crushed walnuts

          • i’ve considered it, and @chandra is right. these comments have been too harmonious. so i’m gonna honor my feelings and the need for food opinion discord in the comment awards comments:

            walnuts are an abomination. why would you wanna ruin perfectly good brownies like that! put some chocolate chips in them and call it a day.

          • AGREED. Walnuts have their place and all (i.e. in carrot cake) but DOWN WITH WALNUTS IN BROWNIES

          • nuts in carrot cake are fine but why use walnuts when pecans are clearly superior in all ways? walnuts just taste like disappointment.

          • What about walnuts in the frosting on a frosted brownie?? But otherwise, no walnuts IN my brownies. Actually, I don’t even like chocolate chips in brownies because it’s just too much.

          • “walnuts just taste like disappointment.”

            Yesssssss! I’m going to use this the next time someone asks me why I don’t like walnuts.

          • Ah, but maybe you have never had actual fresh walnuts! I used to think I didn’t like them either but most of the ones sold in stores are shrivelled and dusty and stale. Same goes for dates.

          • There used to be a walnut tree in my parent’s backyard. Doesn’t get much more fresh than that! I’ll eat them, they’re just very low on my enjoyable nut list.

          • @carules Top of the enjoyable nut list are almonds and cashews, followed by pistachios and peanuts. Hazelnuts don’t rank very high for me, either, but they’re still better than walnuts.

          • Hahaha, you ladies are so silly! Walnuts are yummy and great for brownies. The ones I ended up making had walnuts and white chocolate chips with fudge filling and Carmel drizzed on top. The Carmel didn’t come out right tho, ended up being more like hard candy once it cooled ?
            Were really yummy tho!

    • Have a safe trip and come back to us in one piece, Queer girl. Hope you’re running into a ton of attractive lesbians in Oregon

  9. WOO WON ANOTHER COMMENT AWARD!

    I am also gonna use this “hi i guess not bye” from now ON. it’s a phrase that definitely skirts around the issue of getting rejected by attractive humans! let’s just all start rejecting ourselves and we’ll be fine.

      • And I just realized that I have been singing the lyrics to “my heart will go on” wrong for the past 20 years

    • It’s a perfect pick up line really. It immediately spurs a “wait, come back!” reaction.

  10. If everyone dressed like a lesbian in the 90’s, and today we can’t tell who’s queer and who’s just a hipster, does that make the 00’s the magical heteronormative era when lesbians were lesbians damnit?

    • For those brief years when flannel wasn’t fashionable, yes. But the 00’s were also the period when straight men started dressing like hip gay men.

      • I couldn’t stand that Metrosexual crap. I blame David Beckham and Ryan Seacrest for it

      • I must have missed that. I was omg-I-liked-a-boy-that-means-I’m-not-a-lesbian straight in the 00’s, but I was also a metalhead so all the men I spent time with dressed like a very different era of gay men. ?

        • You’re lucky you missed out! Although a big factor was the show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy in the US, so maybe it wasn’t as popular in Europe? And it was only a fad for a few years. Though skinny jeans didn’t go anywhere…

          • I don’t know if it wasn’t that big a fad in Europe or if the circles I moved in just weren’t affected. Pretty much all the men I knew then are the same men I know now – big on shampoo and conditioner, not so big on fragrances and skincare, big on tattoos, not so big on polished looks… a bit less into spikes and leather these days, though, and a bit more into intersectional feminism, tea parties and baby wearing. Toto, I don’t think we’re in our 20’s anymore.

          • I have to admit, seeing my best friend’s muscled, tattooed, shaved head husband wearing their baby brought a smile to my face. And yes, we are definitely somewhere over the rainbow.

  11. “Ethics in Lesbian Journalism Award” is some of your best work yet. Kudos to you QG

  12. Aren’t tater tots just a type of French fry? I have posed this question to friends but nobody agrees with me. They’re fried potatoes cut up in a different way just like any other French-fry variation (crinkly, curly steak, shoestring, etc.). Why do tater tots get their own category?

      • They are! They can’t be fries because fries are a single piece of potato where as hash browns and tater tots are made of shredded potato made into a whole.

          • I was gonna say that i thought tater tots were what we call potato croquettes but are they really shredded potato? Croquettrs are smooth inside like whatever type of potato is in a smiley face. Damn, smiley faces are one of my favourite ways to consume potatoes.

          • Yeah, it’s an American thing.
            It took me a while to get it when I moved here like peanut butter, s’mores and funnel cake

          • @thecirrhosismachine Tater tots have obvious pieces of potato in them and really are like tiny hash browns in a ball. Not like smiley faces at all. I preferred potato waffles to smiley faces when I lived in the UK :)

          • Omg the day i was shown how to cook potato waffles in the toaster was the best of days. It’s a warm breakfast without the washing up.

          • No one told me you could toaster cook potato waffles!!! If I knew that I would have eaten them every damn day!

          • When I make French toast I fry extra slices and put them in the fridge, and then I pop them in the toaster the next morning and it’s the best.

    • I have no opinion on the status of tater tots but I’d like to officially go on record stating that French fries should be eaten with a fork.

      • I’m 50/50 on that, because it depends on how long you want your fries to last. Also on the type of fry.

          • One absolutely does pick up a cheese fry! Unless you just got your nail done of course

          • Oh no! The C/Kaitlins don’t agree! *Shocked emoji face* And we were doing so well up to this point.

          • I’m gonna say you can pick up a cheese fry as low as its not entirely covered in cheese.
            If it’s surface is covered in cheese then you’ll need a fork. It’s time consuming to be picking up/putting down the fork so you might as well eat the whole thing with a fork.

          • I’m with Carmen SanDiego on this one: I’ll use my fingers as long as the fry isn’t totally covered. I have my standards :P

  13. So like an idiot, I didn’t read any comments and just texted Queergirl saying “Holy crap, 110 comments! Well done!”

    So I’m suuuuuuuper sorry if I ruined the surprise :(

  14. Whenever I see a post with a unusually high comment count, and it’s not a biphobic flame war, lost MRA trolls, or Christo-fascist dancing hotdogs, I assume I’ve accidentally clicked on a post from 2011, from the glory days before Facebook destroyed comment culture across the internet.

    I’m beyond delighted that in this case it’s because of, amongst other things, detailed analysis of the constitution of processed potato products and apparatus for eating.

    I do think there’s more scope for discourse about correct
    condimentation for chips/fries.

    Ketchup or mayo? And/or cheese? Probably butter if you’re Chandra? For me the dilemma is always: gravy or curry sauce.

      • Yes!! Why on earth would anyone go to the trouble of making perfectly Chrispy real chips and then ” go the sogg” and dump wet stuff all over them????!

    • BUTTER on FRIES, what kind of MONSTER do you take me for?!?! (Ok, fair enough based on my established butter proclivities, but no.)

      Malt vinegar all the way.

      • …Although a good veggie poutine with mushroom gravy and cheese curds can sometimes hit the spot too. Mmm

          • I really enjoy cheese fries, preferably with bacon on top. Never had it with gravy. I will try it next time I see it and will toast to your health

          • Cheers! (Does that make it a cheese toast?)

            Make sure the gravy goes ON TOP though – then it melts the curds. Very important. Preferably in Quebec City too, if you can make that work.

    • I never got used to curry sauce, though I only tried it once. I vote gravy. But BBQ sauce on fries is the absolute best.

    • To my continued delight, a bar nearby serves what they claim to be “French poutine”, with confit duck, fries, gravy, mushrooms & gruyère. It’s pretty heavenly. ^_^

    • There’s all kinds of yummy things to go on/with fries! BBQ sauce, gravy, cheese, chilli, bacons, dipping in milkshakes, garlic parmesan seasoning, what ever is in Red Robin’s seasoning. And don’t forget about sweet potato fries! Love those sooooo much!

  15. I was so proud of myself yesterday for not spending half the day getting sucked into Comment Award comments, and now look

      • I don’t think I will ever fully understand “mommi”.

        Only 14 more comments to go until we break 200! QG’s welcome home gift will be that she has to sit down and read all of them.

        • Mommi is still a tricky concept for me.
          I hear that there’s a mommi Tshirt on the works so hopefully that will be explained again

      • ya i don’t think she is mommi, tho maybe that’s not for me to say. when she gets back she can let us know how she self-identifies.

        • I too struggle with Mommi. Every time I see it all I can think off is bdsm and how some people call their Domme Mommy in the same vain that some people say Daddy.

  16. The potato ice cream conversation is not okay. I am now walking away from the internet to recover.

  17. We miss you QueerGirl, please come back to us! We are sorry for whatever we did that drove you away

  18. Anyone here play tabletop games like Battletech or Warhammer 40k? Am seriously considering trying Warhammer 40k, specifically the Slaanesh daemonette’s.

      • Awwwww, while it was a little annoying that some guy was hocking dick enlarging stuff here the comments that followed were awesome!

        Also I propose that Caitlin officially change her name to Dr. Caitlin VOODOO PhD. Show of hands if you agree! *raises both my paws!*

        To continue the conversation Carmen asked why we were talking about penises here and I replied “What if we are talking about funny looking penises we have seen? Or how stupid the beings attached to them are? Personally I like penises just not what they are attached to.” Discuss!

        • i saw a review on oh joy sex toy of dildos shaped like male porn stars dicks, and it kinda really creeped me out. way too much realism, plz stop.

          • What if they weren’t shaped like human dicks, like they sell at Bad Dragon, would they still creep you out?

          • like, dildos are fine, and dicks attached to people are fine, but dildos specifically shaped after a particular person’s dick, especially when said person is a famous stranger, nope i’m sorry i think that’s weird.

          • Not like the Babadong! That thing creeps me out… But yea I can understand why you might find the pornstar dildos creepy

        • Caitlin for sure gets to keep her title!

          Let’s be sure not to lump all penis-having people into the same category tho. (I think what Carmen asked was why the esteemed Dr. V was talking about penises at their workplace, which is a valid question)

          • That is correct. I was asking Dr VOODOO’s patient why the people in his office were discussing penis size as that doesn’t seem like an appropriate conversation topic for a place of business. I also suggested Dr VOODOO’s patient to go to human resources

          • Judging by that post I’m pretty sure his job IS to talk about penises, that’s why I thought she was talking about us lol

  20. My loves! Lights of my life! I came home tonight to 238 comments on the Comment Awards. You are all perfect and amazing and I literally can’t believe it.

Comments are closed.