The Comment Awards Like You Just the Way You Are

Hi pals! It’s Friday. Can you be gentle with yourself today? I love you. Have some water! Pet a dog! Hurl a straight white cis man into the sun! Do the things that make you happy!

This week, Kaelyn brought us some strategies for caring for ourselves and each other during traumatic times.

Reneice made the most perfect thing that I would most like to bake. Sometimes I feel like baking is going to save the world.

Queer YA writer Malinda Lo published! A! Short! Story! On! Autostraddle!

This personal essay from Riese is behind the A+ paywall, but listen: you might want to consider subscribing for this one. It captivated me COMPLETELY from start to finish.

Al(aina) wants you to break up with your racist girlfriend.

THIRST. TRAPS.

AS has announced their next special issue: But Make It Fashion. Submit something! I mean youuuuuu!

And then there were your comments!


On Halloween Is for Fanficking:

The All Hallow’s SuperCorp Award to amidola:

Clumsy, bespectacled blonde with secret Superhero identity seeks gorgeous brunette multibillionaire CEO with homocidal family for All Hallow‘s Eve entertainment purposes. English speakers with inexplicable Irish accent preferred.

On How to Take a Winning Thirst Trap: Your Detailed Multimedia Guide to Being Hot Online:

The You’re Already a Babe, Babe Award to rheak and Larisa:

now i only need a Detailed Multimedia Guide to Being Hot Everywhere Else and maybe I’ll have a chance of success

On For Your Consideration: Buying Another Houseplant That You Know Will Die:

The Ghost Of Chrysanthemums Past Award to SurelySurly:

All of the struggling (read: dead) houseplants and outdoor hanging baskets really gave us a head start on the Halloween decorating though, so we are ahead of the neighborhood curve. The takeaway here is that a noble effort, even if it ends in failure, may lead to unexpected success in other arenas

And The Good Fern Hunting Award to Kay:

This killed me like I killed a beautiful, allegedly-hardy Boston fern in a dry Boston-area apartment

On The Gay Love Stories of Moomin and the Queer Radicality of Tove Jansson:

The Moonin’ Over Moomin Award to a/s:

WAT! Is this why people are always telling me they love Moomin? WERE THEY SIGNALLING ME?

On No Filter: Beth Ditto Got Engaged and it’s Cute as Heck:

The Baby Gaze Award to Stef:

PS: 2nd link is about Lily-Rose Depp and Timothee Chalamet’s making out. / Stef: I know. They're lesbians. Don't @ me.

And on This Woman Asking for Advice About Her Gay Affair Should Leave Her Husband, Be Gay, Do Crimes:

The Gives A New Meaning to SoulCycle Award to Snaelle:

I personally think her husband is actually off on a bi-cycling weekend.

And the Scales From Her Eyes Award to, you guessed it, Snaelle!

Please note I’m not sure if I’m bi or just have Libra rising, so probably someone with less bisexual worries should write this. Oh, wait.


See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.

31 Comments

  1. Thanks qg! The weekend needs you :)

    I may have felt ambi-valent, but the wheels were definitely spinning. I should really tri-cycling again.

      • I want to make a few points:
        1. Hurling anything as far as the sun is literally overkill if death is the goal. Assuming you don’t want the bodies falling back to earth and cluttering up the place, then merely getting them into orbit will suffice

        2. If the sun part is a hard requirement, maybe because you enjoy seeing people frazzled alive, it seems the easiest way to approach this would be to advertise free space exploration trips and simply have the participants pilot themselves into the sun. I feel this approach would work best in countries with established space programs, might be harder to implement globally.

        • IT IS NOT OVERKILL SALLY (although i suppose it _literally_ is) I WANT TO SEE SOME MEN BEING FLUNG TOWARDS THE SUN

          • The work of fiction attacking my brain has a patriarchal figure being sent into the sun via a system override of escape pods that in attempt to be tamper-proof have no on board piloting capabilities just an auto-pilot with preset charting that can only be edited from the control room where most conveniently the dear lady who did the override can hear his screams, her liberty bell.

            It that flingy enough or do you need free standing bodies with some directable propulsion system attached sending them into the sun at a high speed?

        • So you’re saying we should just burn them on earth and use their burning bodies to toast marshmallows?
          That would be okay with me….
          but what if we really want an extravagant death?

  2. 1. I feel more is more in this particular overkill situation.

    2. I like the idea of men killing themselves via their own inability to stick to directions. “Oh I’m sure you can figure out interplanetary travel without astonishingly intelligent women on earth backing up your calculations….” (….just checking…you didn’t watch “Hidden Figures did you? Oh no reason I’m asking….)

Comments are closed.