The Comment Awards Are Asking Simple Favors

Hi friends! I have an announcement to make: Blake Lively’s Simple Favor power suits (power TUXEDOS, occasionally) and I are very much in love. We shall U-Haul in the spring. Blake Lively is married and probably straight and I respect that, but her suits and I are going to be incredibly happy together. I just thought you all should be the first to know.

For absolutely no reason, except that HOW CAN I NOT, here’s this:

Blake Lively walking across a parking lot, in the rain, in a pinstripe suit

This week, the team wrote about those things they just will never, ever do.

You deserve to upgrade your vibrator. (Extreme Donna Meagle voice) treat yourself!

“Captain Marvel” Trailer: Carol Danvers’ Outfits, Ranked by Lesbianism. Fuck me up, Captain Marvel!

Thinking about getting into a polyamorous relationship as a non-primary partner? Chingy’s got you covered.

Turns out some lesbian stereotypes are very, very true.

This was so good!

GO SEE A SIMPLE FAVOR! DO IT! DO IT NOW. And then read Kayla’s review.

And then there were your comments!

On 15 Ways to Stay Out of Trouble According to a 1950s Reverend-Doctor:

The Jane Austen Award to DarthQueer and Sav:

DarthQueer: It is a truth universally acknowledged that “a wife possessed of excessive libido”…will bone you into an early grave. / Sav: I really want to read that version of Pride and Prejudice now

On No Filter: Lena Waithe Greenlights the Lesbian Rom-Com of your Dreams:

The Lifetime Achievement Award to Snaelle (she did one for every person in No Filter this week! You owe it to yourself to click through):

Hayley Kiyoko is starring in an international dance sports rivalry movie that combines team dynamics, fierce competition, and a prolonged scene when both teams show up in the same bar after an event. Also intense dance flirting.

On 2018 Emmys Liveblog and Open Thread:

The I Scream, You Scream Award to Mathilde and Carmen Phillips:

Leslie Jones on stage screaming for Regina King is a mood

On It’s True: Queer Women Own The Most Cats:

The QUAAKERS Can’t Be Choosers Award to Valerie Anne:

I’m going to start a support group and call it QUAACK (Queer And Allergic to Cats & Kittens)

The Paw Patrol Award to Rachel W. and Riese:

Rachel W.: DOGS ARE THE BEST. FIGHT ME...To clarify, this is not a Cats v. Dogs fight I’m picking. It’s Dogs v. Everything Ever. / Riese: i am on board for either one of these fights tbh

On How to Navigate Polyamory as a Non-Primary Partner:

The Petshop Grains Award to Amanda:

That list is so you but now I’m wondering how I would feel petting a bowl of quinoa….

On “Captain Marvel” Trailer: Carol Danvers’ Outfits, Ranked by Lesbianism:

The Dykeness Falls Award to Jane Grey and Even Rachel Would:

Jane Grey: Wait, wait, wait. THIS Danvers is of no relation to ALEX Danvers?! Are Marvel and DC going for a Danvers-based gay-off?? / Evan Rachel Would: Since the Danverses of all comic book universes appear to share one thing in common, the only superhero crossover I want: Kara vs. Carol: Dawn of Dykeness

And on “A Simple Favor” Really Is a Whole Movie About Anna Kendrick Wanting Blake Lively to Ruin Her Life (Same):

The Flung Out of Space Award to thatottergirl:

thatottergirl: Yess the shirtless one held in place by the sheer stregnth of her Mommi power was pretty incredible. But so were all the others! / queer girl: not to put too fine a point on it, but i’m pretty sure her boobs inhabit a different universe? one without gravity? / thatottergirl: Oh definitely, who needs a Space Force when we have her

See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

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Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.

37 Comments

  2. This is probably the most #onbrand award I have ever received, so thank you.

    Usually within about 5min of meeting me everyone is aware of my deeply held, sincere belief that while there are other good things in the world (I see you, cat people and cheese-lovers), dogs are simply the best thing in the existence of the universe.

    Not having a dog is the worst. Why do people live this way willingly?*

    *rhetorical question. Do not try to answer, I will literally never understand.

  3. I’m sorry, but “Dawn of Dykeness” has already been reserved for when Kara and Lena FINALLY realize that they’re in love with each other.

  5. NF posting spree now with added Gabrielle content.

    I swear Stef added her post in afterwards… I wasn’t intending to contribute to the invisibility!

  9. I have some complicated feelings surrounding my period. First of all, I’m fortunate to mostly experience mild cramps, pissy moods, sleeplessness and being caught unprepared more times than I’d have liked. I’ve always been a bit irregular, more on a 60. – 70 day cycle, so it’s often hard to track and plan. Sometimes I skip two or three months in a row. Before having any relationships, it was just an annoying inconvenience. There were times when I felt men had such an easier life since they didn’t menstruate. However, now, I find myself eating those words, because now I find that everything about femininity appears special, and sometimes even sacred to me. During my first relationship with a man, which was also my first, ever, relationship, far too late in life, I had a little scare where I thought I might be pregnant for about a week until I was tested. After that moment, my periods represented a joyous relief! But then I went on birth control; the depo privera shot, which completely stopped my periods for the past year. Now, I miss them. So I broke up with my boyfriend when I realized I would like to have a relationship with a woman, and just last week, I let my “protection date” come and go. It might seem trivial, but giving up the shot was a huge part of giving up men, and re-claiming my body for my own. I now feel I have more stable moods now that it’s out of my system, but I have yet to have a period. When i do, I wish I could run off to a coven in the woods, dance around a fire, howl at the moon and have a sacreed celebration!

  10. Queer Girl, thank you for this and for the suit admiration and support (pun intended)!
    I’d like to dedicate this comment award to my friend Alex, who accompanied me to A Simple Favor and many other queer films.

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