Crudely Yours, A John Waters Holiday Gift Guide
…holidays don’t need to be filled with sappy crap. Sometimes, it’s ok to get your mistletoe freak fest on.
…holidays don’t need to be filled with sappy crap. Sometimes, it’s ok to get your mistletoe freak fest on.
Gifts for your ears…and eyes, but mostly your ears.
Do you have a “trendy” friend/girlfriend/mom/sister/cousin who always buys you great stuff? Do you simultaneously have the fashion sense and gift buying skills of a one-year-old kitten? You’ve finally found the right place.
PAJAMA JEANS!
As someone who has been on the receiving end of terrible Secret Santa gifts for almost a decade, I feel somewhat qualified to offer up some gift ideas and advise you on Secret Santa gift etiquette.
You don’t need lots of money or special ninja skills to make gifts that people will actually really like, for real.
It’s Cyber Monday! I can’t help you with electronics, but here are my best suggests for Books, DVDs, Games and American Apparel Briefs. Get all your shopping done deeply discounted and move on with your life.
It’s our third annual Thanksgiving open thread and when you’re here — you’re family. You’re TOTALLY family.
This Black Friday I suggest we all gallantly go out amongst the sobbing mothers and vomiting children and seek our dirt-cheap-deal fortune. This Black Friday, we should all buy ourselves blazers.
Don’t know what to get that nerdy cuddle buddy in time for the holidays? Or need help wink-nudging that bad-gift-getting significant other of yours? I’ve got you covered.
For when you want to put something besides turkey in your mouth on Thanksgiving.
We made this for you!
Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer.
Challah for vegans!
Winners announced!
Really hope I get a fingerbox for Christmas.
Eight holiday drinks! One for each night of Hanukkah! Which is already over but don’t let that stop you from celebrating. Later on we can hunt for Easter eggs. What? I don’t know. Aren’t excerpts fun? I learned how to say ‘cheers’ in German!
Dad: Let’s light the candles.
Me: Let’s light your face.
Buy stuff. Buy stuff for your friends. Buy stuff for yourself. Buy stuff for us. Buy stuff.
Did we remember to spell Hanukkah consistently throughout this post? There’s only one way to find out!
Whether you’re the type who watches ‘Love Actually’ on loop from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve or you’re more of a Scrooge, we’ve got a suck-proof holiday playlist to tackle every mood. Cherry cherry boom boom, motherf*ckers.