The weirdest part of returning from the cruise is remembering that everyone’s not gay anymore. You re-adjust your mindset to auto-gay while aboard, and I today on the subway I thought: “Wow, there’re so many hot gay girls in the city these days!” and then remembered: “Oh yeah. Those girls look straight because they ARE straight.”
I hope you had sex this week because no one on The L Word did. Instead, Phyllis has a crush on Alice, Angus is Butter Boy, and Shane continues to feed Shay food that she should be eating.
Rosie’s Cruise is 5 parts amazing famous people, 3 parts costumes parties, 1 part vom, and 97 parts gay gay gay. Here’s a day-by-day breakdown of what happens when you’re on a [motherf*cking] boat.
“Around five in the afternoon (I think), Janet (an actress-friend of Haviland’s) purchased me something large and mostly vodka. Somewhere between then and the next three hours, Heather and I did a shot or more, which for some sadistic reason beyond our control, were served to us in plastic cups and probs were more like 10 shots. We stole a picture of Ariel to color in and some chocolates and a shuffle-puck and some crayons.”
Riese and Haviland do a q&a while aboard the Rosie Cruise. On the bright side, they’re in the company of Broadway stars, Melissa Ethridge, and the amazing Susan Powter. On the dark side, alcohol costs a lot of dolla bills and Riese can’t find processed cheese snacks.