It’s a boy, until and unless he tells us otherwise, I thought. It’s a boy who will be raised without gender roles. It’s a boy who will be defined by their heart and mind, not by the organs that happen to be between their legs. It’s a boy who will be loved wholly, deeply, and completely by the two women who created him.
“Whose sperm is this?” she asked me once. Maybe it was the first time. “It’s mine,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say. I had paid for it. No one else was coming to get it.
“Sometimes, when you’re in the business of parenting, you have to phone a friend for a bit of perspective and advice. Sometimes, you have to phone more than one.”
She didn’t say “I have suspected this for years and I still love you.” It went more like a Scared Straight kind of thing but instead of scaring me about drugs and a life of crime, she wanted to scare me straight, straight. “Just Say No to Lesbianism” straight.
“As a lesbian mom, it was especially hard to fight the urge to do the “right” thing, however slippery a concept that was, because I was representing a community, not just myself, I thought.”
Personally, I blame the hit sequel “Heather’s Two Mommies Have Two Kegs Of Miller Lite.”
Sometimes the gulf between my own experience and “typical” parents is the same as that between parents and non-parents. And yet, on a fundamental level it’s also the same joy and the same challenge that we all face.
“She (or he) is roughly the size of an avocado.”
Zines for gender-neutral kids, unschooling kids, kids and their parents, and totally Wild Children. BAM.
Focusing on the number or gender of individuals raising children distracts us from the reality that patriarchal power structures and unequal social institutions are what really make things disadvantageous for children.
Kristen’s Team Pick: Here’s your daily Aww.
A new study shows that boys raised by lesbians are properly gender socialized. Um, yay?
“This study cannot answer political questions about same-sex relationships and their legal legitimacy.”
“There is no Parenting Trans Kids 101 textbook. All there is is showing up to class.”
You may soon find yourself in charge of or surrounded by one or more children. They may even be expecting gifts. This will help.
The joys of child labor and indentured servitude.
You can either make your own coffee seven days a week, or you can teach your kids how to do it for you.
In which this is not a mommy blog and we talk about how to live with kids without becoming a crazy person. This week’s specialty: toys!