Food and Drink

17 Recipes That Replace Zucchini, Because Zucchini Is Bad

Zucchini is bad. Zucchini, in fact, is the worst vegetable. Uncooked zucchini exists in a vacuum of flavor. Cooked zucchini, on the other hand, tastes like what I imagine hot turtle water tastes like. How you can go from nothing to unholy with the mere introduction of heat is a testament to zucchini’s darkness. Zucchini is the cantaloupe of vegetables. Zucchini is the vegetable you pair with yellow squash and serve in vats to large groups of people you disrespect. Zucchini is a miserable cucumber.


Top 10 Foods We’re Not Ashamed to Eat In Public as Fat People

“I will lick that shit out of any allegedly “empty” sauce container of aioli regardless of its size in comparison to my tongue and how many people watch in horror or confusion when I refuse to let its gelatinous goodness remain clinging to the sides of its serving dish where it would otherwise remain unused, unwanted and unappreciated.”