Spark joy, motherf*ckers!

“Gay cheerleader of the cosmos, guess I found my desired position for future job applications.”

“I’m calling it Carbmas now.”

It’s a magical time of year.

“The heart with a dot below it is the menstruation heart you cannot change my mind.”

“The chairs thing! THE CHAIRS THING. All my life.”

“That duck for sure has an Alternative Lifestyle Feathercut.”

“I’m blushing in ways I cannot fully blame on the wine.”

“My mom watched The L Word before I did, so really this must be her fault.”

Yvonne, voice of the people.

SEXY TAMPONS FTW.

Pipkin’s into the treat bag again!

“We call them junderpants.”

“It would be amazing/hilarious/infuriating if Disney’s first true queer representation was in a movie about lesbian dogs.”

We finally, somehow, got through this week, my loves! Have some water! Pet a dog! Hurl a straight white cis man into the sun!

“Can we all just take a moment to appreciate the phrase ‘menstrual confetti?'”

It is a truth universally acknowledged that queer woman are more likely to have cats, and also to have had a crush on Blake Lively ever since the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants was a thing.

“How can one acquire these ‘sexish sex eyes?’ Asking for a friend.”

“I threw all my chicken soup out the window upon reading this, for IT WILL NOURISH ME FOREVER.”

“All my favorite lesbian love stories start when the hats align.”