“Turns out there’s nothing better than f*cking under cover of deep, tall grass in the sunshine. Currently protecting my field spot like a dragon.”

“If Katie McGrath could spend her one precious month of Supergirl hiatus to go on the other side of the globe, where every spider is a killer, to kiss women on screen again, I can face another day of my gay life.”

“Please would you like to bang? I think you’re glorious.”

“Call me by my/your name.”

“Relationship Milestone: Buying a two-pack of coconut oil to make vegan gingerbread for her, then never hanging out again.”

“I didn’t know that all I wanted was a movie where lesbian Kate Winslet travels back in time for dinosaur adventures until I was misled by this graphic.”

“Don’t [email protected] me.”

If you wanna be my lover…

There are no accidents.

“I found Autostraddle while googling ‘how do you know if you should leave your girlfriend?’ And reader, I did leave her. And then I went to an Autostraddle meet-up and met the lady knight of my wildest dreams.”

“Thank you for blessing us with the phrase ‘kitchen top,’ because I think that’s my actual alignment.”

“Hello, Baby-Sitters Club.”

“I love that someone actually answered that they’re a ‘soup chef’.”

“Crying in the gay bar right now.”

“Well, now I need ‘Consider disengaging if you’re processing more than you’re fucking’ embroidered on a pillowcase.”

“I’ve had a crush on Carmen SanDiego’s femme badassery since before I knew what crushes were, and long before I knew I could have them on women.”

“If Erin Sullivan has taught me anything, it’s that someone will try to use a bath bomb as a dildo.”

“Dana Scully and the XXX Files? I’m into that.”

Spark joy, motherf*ckers!

“Gay cheerleader of the cosmos, guess I found my desired position for future job applications.”