So tell me what you want, what you really really want.

What are these times in which we live?!

Straight girls go to prom together and give each other corsages and admire each other’s ‘necklaces’ all the time, right? Right?

In which we learn that Riese has never actually seen Practical Magic, and might have to send back her toaster.

“Dear Barbie: I’m not sure if you visit Autostraddle.com, but the more I think about it, the more I start to believe that you probably do.”

I’ll never be able to think of the band LMFAO in the same way again.

We’ve got tennis sex, Antiope, and the quantum-physics of Kristen Stewart’s wardrobe – it’s the Comment Awards!

Today is sunny, with a chance of manspreading – and everything is full of lesbians. It’s the Comment Awards!

Come for the euphemisms, stay for the butties! It’s the Comment Awards, now with more gender bending Gillian Anderson. Praise.

Your grandma sounds like a babe, I don’t know what else to tell you.

Women laughing with salad, killer vaginas, and shiny-haired counselors from the camp days of yore: it’s the Comment Awards!

Double entendres, gay-ass underpants, and Mey is here to get us into trouble – it’s the Comment Awards!

We’ve got dishonorable discharges, mantellectualism, and multiple uses for the phrase “comfortable hole bye.” It’s the Comment Awards!

We’ve got cosmonauts, laundry tips for misandrist vampires, and a lot of puns about those fellows at Pompeii — too soon?

We’ve got Mike Pence as the Demagorgon, leprosy-based seduction (like you do), and threesomes with your boss!

Pickles and bee butts and rumors, oh my!

We’ve got gal pals, space nuns, life in Gilead, and lots of important thoughts on Lauren Morelli’s wedding cape!

We’ve got swimwear, proposals, and Eight Great Ways for Men and Women to Sit in a Room Together For the Rest of Their Lives!

Come for Dark Willow, stay for Soft Butch Princess Di!

Cereal, haircuts, and strange noises from the Girl Scout tent!